In a vision I have seen
my life,
Laid out before me on a broad canvas
A painting,
One that stretches miles wide
encompassing the all the moments lived,
the experience gained,
the moments of victory,
and all the times I’ve lost
Moments of bright, swirling hues
filled with the warm rays of sunshine
mark happiness and joy,
Storm clouds of black and gray,
Howling winds with a cold bitter kiss
are reminders of the bleakest times
Ones of despair,
of longing,
of loneliness...
It seemed the darkest times
outnumbered the light by far,
Images of somberness and pain
How can this be?
How can my life be so
filled with anguish,
with so little light ever reaching the canvas?
Tear stained trails from years of wandering
dominate so much of this painting
Reminders of the trials of life,
and the hardships I’ve endured
Yet those moments of light are stunning,
so beautiful to behold
Like the breaking of a passing storm,
the transition a kaleidoscope of brilliance
filling the canvas with hope
Dark clouds turning scarlet,
followed by orange and pink,
then the blue sky glowing with the purest light
Happiness has arrived at last
However brief the moments are
they are delightful to behold
Enhanced somehow, by the
somber hues that enclose it on both sides
The eye of a hurricane
In this moment I find clarity...
It isn’t the light that defines us,
Nor does it shape the lives we lead
Without the trials we face,
we can’t really appreciate happiness
or even know when it arrives
This painting, this canvas of our lives
can’t be seen in segments
It must be viewed as a whole
Each moment built on the next
as we struggle to learn and grow
Dark clouds approach again,
but I see things differently now
Yet to be painted is my future,
Just snow white canvas
awaiting God to create His plan
with all the colors that He chooses
In this moment of clarity,
I realize that a painting of only white
holds little beauty
The dim and dusky brush strokes
must be present to intensify
the magnificence of God’s work,
Of His creations,
And of me
March 31, 2007
Author notes
Sometimes when things seem their darkest, a moment of clarity arrives to show us what our lives are really about...
Poem by Bedroom Eyes
A contest entry
- ONLY THOSE WITH LESS THAN 10 TROPHIES ~~~Contest~~~ by Spiritual Nature.
475 points, ended March 31, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Now Then; All Those NOT on my favorites already ~ENTER HERE~ by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended April 8, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inkwell Prewrite Contest by SurelyWritten.
1500 points, ended May 23, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANY THING by serenity silvermoon.
430 points, ended May 10, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry by SandraMVeinot.
380 points, ended May 14, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite Only Round three by Kari.
375 points, ended May 14, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Culture: Religion, Society and Politics by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 638 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me your favourites (prewrites allowed). by aeolia.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 57 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 62 of 62
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Greg,
I can see why this won Gold twice. I can say that this is bookmarked and I will be back to re-read.
This is beautiful hon...
Sometimes when things seem their darkest, a moment of clarity arrives to show us what our lives are really about- this rings so true to me right now.
Thank you
Blessings & Love~
~Joy
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Awesome. Might be a finalist in my contest! Good luck!
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Wow this is stunning and brilliant. Comparing your life to a canvas. I really like what you said about the white canvas. Many readers can relate openly to this write. I feel many may of felt that why one time or another in his or her life. The flow and content is excellent. I really like the images. This poem did not make me feel like a by stander. It gets the reader to thinking. This is very well done.
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wow!
you presented life in a beautiful manner without the usual " rainbows and romance entwined along with ravens and dark gloomy clouds".
You put it in a sort of whole picture which made me feel inspired. It makes me look at my life once again and see that indead I have had many beutiful experiences and I would always cherish them.
Best wishes!
cristiano99
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"however brief the moments are
they are delightful to behold
enhanced somehow, by the
somber hues that enclose it on both sides
the eye of a hurricane"
Too true, and my thoughts exactly, however painful may the winds be while we're in their midst. Gorgeous imagery!
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A most wonderful and awesome read! Most worthy of the gold trophies! Congratulations, poet!
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Thank you very much, oh winged one
How this took the gold with anything you wrote entered is beyond me, but I will bow to the wisdom of our judge 
Thanks for the great comment 
s
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It's easy to see why this piece has earned you two Gold cups, it's gorgeous! Your imagery draws the reader into your thoughts and feelings. Excellent work!
~Lori
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Lori...
Such a comment from a poet of your stature is quite an honor. I thank you very much for it
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it isn’t the light that defines us,
nor does it shape the lives we lead
without the trials we face,
we can’t really appreciate happiness
or even know when it arrives
that is so true and what has helped me to see a reason for all the bad i have dealt with. congratulations on the well deserved gold trophy in this contest. Happy Easter. viyanna rosemarie
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viyanna
I could get no better comment than to know that someone connected with this in a personal way. I hope that the bad times end soon, and that you start to see something positive happen. Take care, and thank you for the comment
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whoo hoo!
I knew this poem would win gold again
Amazing, my friend! Congrats!
Lynda
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Thank you Lynda You had more confidence than I did in winning it, but it's an honor in any case. Thanks again Sweetie!!
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Gorgeous! Such a very well composed piece of hope and growth to move forward. To appreciate the existence, the reasoning of why we are here... I really enjoyed this! (Gold well deserved from other contest!) Thank you so much for entering!
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Thank you so very much for the award of the gold in this contest. To receive it knowing of all the great poems that were entered is indeed an honor. Thank you very much
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Very nice write and yes we paint our own canvas in our lives by the many ups and downs and decisions we make. I like the presentation of this write. It has a lot to say. Thanks for sharing and congrats on the gold.
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Thanks for the nice comment on this write. I'm glad that you liked it. Have a great Easter!
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1. Meaning no disrespect but----I feel like I've read this about 20 times before on different occasions. AKA, it seemed cliche. It's not that the topic you chose is too familiar (it is, but pretty much everyone writes about the same topics anyway, that doesn't make a difference really) it's that the way you presented it seemed, well, done before. If you chose a subject as common as this, it's imperative that you add something to it---Otherwise, well, it seems like you've read the same thing 20 times before...
2. I felt it was a bit longer than it should have been, and could have used some capitalisation...
3. Again, meaning no disrespect---It seemed...Surfacey (which is not, in fact, a word---But hopefully you'll get what I mean by it.
None the less, this is something you seem passionate about, and that shows in your writing.
I'll admit, I didn't like it----But from the comments you've gotten it seems like most people did, so don't take it too much to heart "no one ever put up a statue to a critic" and all of that---What do I know anyway, right?...XP
Being just one opinion, and quite out-numbered--I'm probably missing something (it reminds me of the time I watched Gone with the Wind.)
-Nadya
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Well, what can I say? Of course not everyone is going to like everything that I write, but that's OK with me.
It may seem cliche, and perhaps it is. It's what came to mind at the time I wrote it, and I just went with it.
The lack of capitalization is now, and always will be deliberate in my poems. It's just the way I've always written, so I continue to do it that way.
I'm sorry you didn't like it, but as the saying goes...you can't please everyone ALL of the time right? Nevertheless, I do appreciate honest critiques. It's really the only way that we, as poets, can learn and grow. -
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Well, thanks for not taking it personally. :]
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"encompassing the all the moments lived" i think it was ackward sentence if i was you i would find a different first word. another thing i saw was that i didnt see much punctuation and i thought that readers were blue in the face by time they were done reading just do us all a fovr and try and add a few puntuaction marks so we know were to breath.
besides the little things i thought the poem had a lot of imagery that i personally like because i can create a picture off your words. this is down perfectly here. over all good write. -
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Thank you for the comment, and also for the honesty of your critique. I don't mind it at all when someone points out ways to possible improve upon something I've written. It's why I joined at the inkwell in the first place
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I really like this. This has tons of imagery.
My favorite lines were:
"howling winds with a cold bitter kiss
are reminders of the bleakest times"
congrats on the gold
And
Great write -
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Thank you for taking the time to read this write of mine. I'm pleased that you liked it
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You're welcome
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Beautiful imagery! I love the concept of the artistry it would take to paint one's life on a canvas. I too wrote one about painting. I love this! Beautifully done!
"however brief the moments are
they are delightful to behold
enhanced somehow, by the
somber hues that enclose it on both sides
the eye of a hurricane
and in this moment I find clarity"
This verse struck me most.. Because in our greatest storms, we find the truth and the strength and heart to do things or make things better. It's as if we finally see things so clearly.
Wonderful write! Keep up the good work! -
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Lissa
Thank you for the kind words you've left me. I too believe that we learn more from the struggles we face. It's a sad fact of life, but it's often true
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the magnificence of God’s work,
of his creations,
and of me
Indeed so magical verse and so touching immagery is here...congrates for the gold..indeed gold deserving verse...a great poem my friend...
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Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad that you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to read & leave a nice comment.
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just for the fun of it...
'The Canvas of Life', has so many wonderful lines in it, one would have troble picking out one they like best...like; 'the moments of victory'. And 'tear stained trails from years of wandering'. Plus; 'transition a kaleidoscope of brilliance'. Must I mention more; such as 'this painting, this canvas of our lives can’t be seen in segments'. many eye catching lines here that I enjoyed greatly reading.thank you for the read! -
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Thank you very much Sandra. I remember you from the other site you mentioned on your home page. I had you on my favorites there...I don't see why here should be any different Welcome to AP! I hope you like it here
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this painting, this canvas of our lives
can’t be seen in segments
it must be viewed as a whole
each moment built on the next
as we struggle to learn and grow
WOW, thats all i can say is WOW, amazing and i Love it -
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You're too kind Fading...I thank you for taking the time to read and leave such a nice comment.
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This was a beautifully written poem. I read it twice and found new insights the second time. I believe it is true that our highs are defined by our lows and that if we don't experience some bad times we can't fully appreciate the good ones. In lines 56 and 57 you expressed optimism in a moment of bleakness. This poem radiated hope.
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Thank you very much for the great comment. I'm glad that you liked it
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Finally I made it to this one.. The worse part about not logging on to AP is catching up...But this was well worth it..I love this...It's sad but just plain gorgeous...I think this is one that we can all connect to. and as for anything else, well I looked down and it has all been said...all I can say is BRAVO...
Love Dusty
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Thank you darlin...I knew you'd get to this EVENTUALLY Hope that sunburn aint bothering you TOO much, and like I said...ALOE VERA!! Thanks for the nice comment Feather
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"it isn’t the light that defines us,
nor does it shape the lives we lead
without the trials we face,
we can’t really appreciate happiness
or even know when it arrives"
This is very good clarification that many people need when life seems to be too rough to bear.
I like the wisdom and well intentioned advice in your piece. Beautiful sentiments! -
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Thank you for taking the time to look at this poem. When the times ARE tough, (as they have been
) it's good to remember that these things are just a temporary dark place, and that things will improve sooner or later. I hope that I'm able to follow my own advice when I have the blues again. Thanks again for the great comment!
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Wow, I'm sad to hear that you're going through rough times now. I *incorrectly* assumed that you wrote this poem after going through a rough time, not right dead smack in the middle of it.
For what it's worth, I said a little prayer for you and hope that you are making good use of all the resources that are out there to help you!
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Nicely written poem.
I liked the metaphor from the start - the idea of one's life as a canvas was a clever idea. I've heard the analogy of life being like a novel yet to be written and such, and your idea is somewhat similar, but it was skilfully done.
It was well structured - I liked the way you didn't just mention the 'darkest times' and then move on completely, and the addition of their reappearance from a different perspective gave the poem a good cyclical feel, without making it predictable or naïve. It was reminiscent of the idea of 'theme and variation' that one often encounters when looking at music.
If I had any qualms with this piece, I would say that perhaps the ellipsis (the "...") in stanza four might be better off replaced with a different punctuation mark such as an em dash (a " - ") - but then again, that's just me being picky. It works fine as is, I have just developed an ellipsis phobia after seeing it everywhere on MSN.
Another small suggestion - perhaps you could build up the "moments of bright" before you introduce the "storm clouds - the contrast might add more to their effect. Just a suggestion - once again, it works fine as it is, I just thought I'd give you something to think about.
I'm really scraping the bottom of the criticism barrel now, but I think that "yet to be painted is my future" would've worked better simply as "my future is yet to be painted". It just seemed a little jarring whilst I was reading it back - interrupted the flow slightly, if you see what I mean. It's up to you, of course, just thought I'd give my opinion.
When I was skim-reading the poem after I'd finished, I thought that perhaps it could do with being a little shorter, but after I read it fully for a second time I changed my mind. You manage to carry the metaphor successfully throughout the whole poem, and I didn't lose interest.
The last stanza was exceptionally well written. It rounded the poem off perfectly, and summed up its sentiment. It was a very satisfying ending. I get the impression either that it came to you almost effortlessly, or that you spent a disproportionately large amount of time agonizing over it. Either way, for heaven's sake, do NOT change the last stanza! Ever! (Well, you can, but I'll have to take back everything I've said in this comment - you have been warned!)
Overall, very well written. I'm just going to have a look through your other submissions now. Well done!
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WOW!!!
I'd have to say that this is the most in depth comment I've ever gotten. I appreciate the fact that you did such a thorough and honest critique. It's not very often that someone takes so much time to look so deep into a write, so for that I thank you
You are correct when you believed this came easily. The whole poem took about half an hour to write & proofread & edit. Sometimes things just flow effortlessly, as this one did. Thanks a ton for the GREAT critique!!
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This is such a deep beautiful piece. The beauty in this piece is present in every line. I loved the sixth stanza and the way it was written. This is just amazing! I loved the message behind this piece. It was really true! I had been feeling like I should give up but you proved me wrong and thank you so much for that!
You have a wonderful talent. Do keep writing and congratulations on getting the gold trophy. I think you really deserve it!
Love
Poetess99
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Poetess...
I took the liberty of dropping by your page and browsing a couple of your poems before responding to this comment. I had a feeling that I would find someone who was going through some personal pain or tragedy, and in that I was correct.
Every so often, by accident or by design, God allows a poet to put something to paper that others can really relate to. And in that, perhaps they find some peace within themselves that helps them through some difficult times. Initially, this poem was something that I wrote to help myself. But after receiving a comment such as yours, and knowing the personal pain from your poems I read, I'm starting to believe that I was just an instrument that was allowed to do this for others as well as myself. I'm sorry for the hardships that you're facing at this time. I wish I could be of some help to you other than putting a few words down on this page. But if I can't be of help in any other way, I'm thankful that what you've read here brought you some measure of hope. A poet can ask for no more than that. I'm glad you found some comfort, and I hope that you'll see blue skies and bright sunshine very soon.
Take care, and find some peace
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This line: "and in this moment I find clarity"
And this line: "the magnificence of God’s work,
of his creations,
and of me" are both very strong. It really tops off your thoughts and great inkwriting in this poem. ^__^ -
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Thank you for the kind words. I'm happy that you were able to connect with this. Take care, and thank you again.
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WELL THIS POEM WAS SO ELEGANT AND BEAUTIFUL.......I TRULY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SOMETIMES THE DARKNESS IN OUR LIFE OUTWEIGHTS THE LIGHT, BUT YOU HAVE TO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THE DARKNESS....WOW THIS POEM JUST GAVE ME SOME CLARITY OF MY OWN, SO NOW ALONG WITH THAT FACT THAT IS WAS SUCH A LOVELY POEM IT WAS LIKE THERAPY SO THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A AWESOME POEM, THIS IS THE POEM THAT STUCK OUT FOR ME
reminders of the trials of life,
and the hardships I’ve endured
yet those moments of light are stunning,
so beautiful to behold
like the breaking of a passing storm,
the transition a kaleidoscope of brilliance
filling the canvas with hope
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There could be no greater compliment than what you have said here. I'm pleased that this brought you some clarity of your own. Thoughtful, enlightening, or thereputic...however it touched you, I'm glad that it did. Thank you for your kind words
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As usual a lovely piece. Congratulations on your Gold. You deserved no less. Hugs, Patricia
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Thank you very much Patty. Your comments always mean so much to me. I thank you for taking the time to read this piece, and I hope that things are well with you
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oh, nice...nicely written, great message....
"however brief the moments are
they are delightful to behold
enhanced somehow, by the
somber hues that enclose it on both sides
the eye of a hurricane
and in this moment I find clarity
it isn’t the light that defines us,
nor does it shape the lives we lead
without the trials we face,
we can’t really appreciate happiness
or even know when it arrives"
well written, very well written
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Hello Cai. Kind of a deep write huh? Don't miss the defining moments in your life Cai...good or bad, try to see them clearly so the good times are that much more sweet
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Always go with Gods hand in yours and he will not steer you in the wrong direction! Let him paint your life canvas in beautiful colors from this day forward...All the best to you, Greg, and Congrats on the Gold!
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I find myself unsure of what to say in response to this...I do know what it is I want, and I do know the direction that I was steered in. I've known happiness that men only dream of, I've known saddness and despair. And no matter were my path leads, I know where I wish it to end...light & darkness are merely phases we all must pass through. It's not either that define us...it's both, and it's not WHICH path we walk that brings us happiness...it with whom we walk it.
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I love your imagery..I could just picture the play of light and shadow on the canvas. Light and dark cannot exist one with out the other..they define each each other...very compelling...and congrats!!
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Thank you Queen. Light and dark, sunshine and shade...the opposites ARE needed to define each other. A very wise observation on your part. Thanks for taking the time to read & comment
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I believe that it is exactly our darkest hours that provide the brightest light. It may seem cliche' to say all that but there is an immeasurable amount of truth within those old sayings....
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I agree with you, and that is really where this write came from. To see and appreciate the finer things that life gives us, we have to experience some darkness first. Cliche' or not, it's often true. Thanks for the great comment.
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Beautiful!!!
Wendy will love this write, and with your wonderful words, you have expressed the special person that you are...and your faith and deep understanding...
Every line is beautiful but this part just got to me...
"yet those moments of light are stunning,
so beautiful to behold
like the breaking of a passing storm,
the transition a kaleidoscope of brilliance
filling the canvas with hope"
Stunning, my friend!
Lynda
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Thank you very much Lynda. I do carry hope now...hope that the future brings to me some moments that bring smiles and warmth. Dark times will always be a part of life, but the shining moments are what makes life worth living
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This is really good. It gives the reader an insight to your thoughts, while allowing them to flow with their own. The metaphors used were excellent.
Good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman
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Thank you for the kind words. In each one's life, some rain must fall...without the rain nothing grows very well. Thanks again for your nice comment
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