She is the moonlight on the sea
Ever dancing in the breeze.
She is a gathering of rivers
Rushing onwards, flowing free.
She is the whimper in the wind
As it wanders through the trees.
She is the promise of the sunrise
That waits eternally
For her lover lost forever
In his distant fantasy.
She is the calm before the storm,
Or the fury of the thunder,
Or the blanket soft and warm,
That her children shelter under.
She is a lover and a mother
And the nurture of all nature.
She is pearls and gold and silver
And young passions bold forever…
When the words just get too heavy
And the meanings all go hazy
She is love.
She is my lady.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A wonderful presentation of love thoughts dedicated to a special someone. You write with great sensitivity and present a well rounded piece with lots of examples of the womans nature.
My only critique would be the use of the cliche "She is the calm before the storm." Every other line is uniquely you and this drags it down to ordinary for just a moment.
A beautiful love poem...
alby
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I maybe no sure, but I think I seen this befow.
But, I don't see any comments from mantids, so I if I have, I haven't commented.
I don't feel much harshness in this write, as you were telling me you felt there was. However, it does feel pretty self expressive, in much the same way "Her Best" is, but without the plea, the prayer.
This seems to describe an idealized woman, almost calypso-like, standing forlorn and waiting on the shoal of her lonely island.
We both know the pain and torment that comes from idealizing a woman--as you said, perhaps only suave princes and millionaires can do this with any hope of success. For perhaps it's only for such men that a woman will strive to her utmost to live up to such ideals. Nothing like the lure of a life in luxurious security.
There are a handful of cliches--not dissimilar to those that exist in "Her Best"--scattered throughout the poem. "She is moonlight on the sea", feels like one, for starters. And "the promise of sunrise" has a feel to it like I've been there before, and that waiting eternally for a lover lost forever in distant fantasy also has an overly familiar ring to it.
The gathering of rivers, however, feels fresh to me, and grabbed my attention.
Anyway, chances are you know all this, and have accepted the weaknesses along with the strengths in this poem, as we must accept the weaknesses and strengths within our own person to allow ourselves to live that much longer.
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What a lovely write.Flowing smoothly with the grace that the title moves you to look for. Especially the last two lines, she is love, she is my lady. Elegantly beautiful.
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Ohhh, what a marvellous poem. Excellent rhythm and interesting rhyme sequences with metaphors set in nature. An endearing description of the complexity of a persons inner beauty. A pleasure to read. I am glad I found you.
alby
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I like it alot
Very nice thoughts
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Wonderful!!
I have been gone for almost 2 years, but I see why I had you on my fav. list
Terrific flow. Keep 'em coming. Peace...Syah
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excellent
Plse edit to "too" heavy.
Lovely rhyme and rhythm - a fitting tribute.
Have the clap.
Robin.
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~Beautifully Penned In Amorous Romance~
Beautiful..Oh my sweet Lord,
Your Song” Pearls is heavenly
You flow without seams
In a sweet salty lovers dream
You encompass an eternal question
“Lover Lost Forever” in his “fantasy”
You paint the sky with tulips
Kissing us warmly in your soft lips
~RJ~ a soft passionate flow
Ah, your song reminds me
Of a stairway I climbed long ago
Thank you for showing me
What true love and your lady
Means to you eternally.
A gentle loving romantic song
A tender song, I hope will be set to music!
It makes me wonder
Who is your love?
Who is your lady?
All the best to you and yours RJ~
Forever I shall be in your charms
You’re a warm wonderful friend
I thank the heavens our paths cross again!
~XXX Hugs, Love Kisses, Sharon~
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This is beautiful, Rj. The theme, thoughtfulness in this piece is so tender and loving. It's exquisite. The first four lines, for me, say world. Lucky the lady who this is meant for, she's fortunate indeed to have someone who cares for and appreciates her this much.
An excellent write
ramblin
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Very very touching!!!
Wow I loved your metaphors. They are so new and so cool. You have adorned the words with your romantic imagination and created such a beauty. The Visual Imagery is excelletn and I was really enchanted esp by these lines "She is the promise of the sunrise
That waits eternally
For her lover lost forever
In his distant fantasy." Thanks for sharing. Would you mind reading one of my poems" Life Imitates Art"? http://allpoetry.com/poem/2363531 I would appreciate your comments. -
Excellent!
What an amazing flow, with so much beauty within each line of imagery...Very vivid, and such a feel good poem to read. Thanks for sharing my friend...And please keep on penning on. Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver
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What a lovely presentation. Your jewel of multifacets shines bright in this tribute piece.I thought this with it's title might of been about Joplin but all the better as a personal piece.Nicely done.
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Perfection
WOW, simply amazing. That was beautiful. It flowed erfectly as well.
Hugs, Me
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This is simply lovely!
It has been a while since you wrote a poem like this (or at least since you've posted one).
A love poem that has a light tone from beginning till end, no trace of sadness...wow, you still have it inside!
'She is the calm before the storm,
Or the fury of the thunder'... I know someone who few people would describe with these words
This was a very pleasant read in this sunny Saturday afternoon, thanks
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