Pitter pattering
Rhythmic sound
Heart beat
Heart ache
Thumping tune
Beating pulse
Speed up
Speed away
Sorrowful sobbing
Rainbow falls
From eyes
From tears
Riant recollections
Hurtful parting
Good times
Good bye
Author notes
peaceandpenguins,
teardrops and heartbreak
A contest entry
- The Profound Rounds... Part IV by Kevan.
365 points, ended April 7, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Originality/Creativity - 8/10 Excellent work combining the three parts.
Imagery/message - 8/10 I didn't get the images of teardrops at first but after noticing that it was about that I went back and read it and discovered it actually really worked.
Style/Form - 10/10 The short lines worked well for capturing the effect. Full marks!
Rule following - 5/5
Flow (If poem does not rhyme) - 4/5 The short lines also helped with the flow.
Other (Will specify) - 8/10 Wording was fairly good and I felt the emotions.
Total - 43/50
peaceandpenguins, you did an excellent job here. I really enjoyed this and I'm glad you coul tie the emotions and topics together so well. Good luck!
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