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In Peace

My tears starts to roll down my cheeks
As blood flows out my wrist
The pain from my broken heart
disappered as my wrist bleeds
I reminesce the days we were together
I look to my right
And see that picture of us
that night at the beach
When we layed on the sand
By the red fire all cuddled up together
Warming each other with our body and love
I looked at you that night
And told you I would never leave you
I snapped back to reality
And realized that i left you for one day
After making that mistake
You left me forever
I drive the razor out deeper in my flesh
Trying to erase the beautiful memories we shared
But it wont work
I love you too much
And I want to hold on to you and our memories
But that same memories that once made me smile
Are now the cause of my grief, pain, and loneliness
So i pull the razor out of my flesh
I picked up the gun right by my side
Load it, and cock it
I aimed it to my head and pulled the trigger
My life flashed before my eyes
Then silence overwhelmed me
I was in peace

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Jai Guru Deva
    August 5, 2007
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    Amazing. Just beautiful.

    Good job and good luck.


  • realist07
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good must read

    wow wow wow Dude even thought your in the wrong contest. This poem is sure to win something. Very nice. You kept my attention all the way to the end. You grab me and made me listing to this. Very nice rythem, nice choice of words, nice puncuation, dude very good


  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    what's your name and what option did you choose?


  • On Frail Wings.
    June 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow i really like this one well i hope you dont resort to that good luck

  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing write

    this was an amazing write, you had just enough detail, the right length and you had :Why, when, where, how, who, and what happened.. this was a great piece and good luck in all of the contests, you're sure to win at least one


  • Florida Sunshine
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Give life a chance.... How sad how folks give up on life.... Remember it passes... and changes.... explore to find whats around the corner~ Definately made me feel it


  • Degausser
    May 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I totally feel the pain the this poem puts out. I've been in many situations similar to this and it sucks a lot. I like this poem because of how real it is and how it relates to a lot of people everywhere because it's such a big topic that a lot of people just look at as simple or basic depression and desire for attention when it's a lot more than that. There were a couple grammatical errors I saw but nothing big, otherwise it was really well written. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you.
    -Philly F


  • SarahEatsAirplane
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Good job.
    Very well written,
    and lots of emotion.
    I also think you had great imagery, I could picture the whole thing (even though it was a bit graphic haha)


  • R.J.Valentine
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this tells a great story and i can actually relate to this at some points. thank you for the entry. please tell me who you are in your author's notes. good luck.


  • Bruised.Roses
    April 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow.....this was so well written it was beautiful, it was a perfect piece of art....keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest

    XTashaX

1 - 10 of 10