My heart just hit the ground
And it didn't even make a sound
He just stared right at it
But my love for him won't quit
My hands and knees hit the ground
My mind won't come unwound
My true feelings are locked and bound
And my love for him can't quit
He looks right at me
But he surely can't see
The feelings in my eyes
But they aren't under disguise
My body just hit the ground
No one came to come surround
He walked right past me
My love for him has to quit
His hands and knees hit the ground
He stared right at me and frowned
I looked at him, no words to say
His love for me just started
Author notes
PoEtS-bLeEd-InK
So this poem is about a girl loving a guy and she feels there is no love in return and she wants to stop loving him, and just as she is about over him he comes crawling to her realizing what he would miss if she stopped loving him... sorta true story with a twist ending, or a future ending?
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it sorta has a beat, like a song ... or at least it does to me... prolly because I worte it... lol
A contest entry
- GROUP CONTEST: The Best People EVER!!! by Viva La Vie Boheme.
600 points, ended April 9, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow i really like this. I love the repetition in it, it's incredibly powerful.
I think I really connect to this aswell because i often don;t really fall for girls until they've 'hit the ground', and decided to move on. It's then i realise what i've let go, often too late.
But your write it really well, and the use of blank verse at the end really emphasises the twist, and the strangeness that it takes her to move on to make him feel more her.
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Wow!!! Me loveish!!! I really don't know what to say!!! I love the ending... What a twist! Great work, and good luck in the contest!
Cassie
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