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My Wonderful Sin

 

 

 i feel as if
i have known you all along

known you
from a thousand words i have dreamed
scenes forever played in my mind

to have you so close
is to live a forbidden dream

a part of me
is with you... in your peril

a part of me
falling too far to ever care

let me sin my sin

all i can do
is look at you and adore your glorious face
try to remember the form with my fingers

say my softest words
and see you feel the moment as i do
almost shaking together

i walk you by hand to my room
lay you in a place of feathers and lace
and show you the depth of my care for you

in whispers words
i say your name.. pushing and pulling the same
forgetting all around us… again and again

later…
when you sleep
i wonder to my self

how do i ever return this wonderful gift
to the place where she belongs

tonight she was only mine
in the day.. she is yours  

i move closer
to hold you... once again

 

my wonderfull sin





LeeL

Author notes

Words for a secret friend in love

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 69 of 69

  • Dragons Lady
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful poem. To love someone that is not yours to love is truly hard. Yet there are times when it's necessary to let them go. The feelings expressed so eloquently through your words. I love it.


    • Endeavor gold member
      September 7, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Angel


      Sometimes we choose to love

      Sometimes we are compelled.

      I am blessed to have made the words

      Thank you for reading this, Rick

  • passionspenning
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    so lovely to reread this
    it takes me to moments I will never forget
    or regret
    a time when we were so close
    your love has made a permanant impression in my heart, I am blessed
    love,
    PP


    • Endeavor gold member
      September 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Poet


      We are both blessed

      Rickie

    • Endeavor gold member
      July 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      My Love


      Thank you for holding this memory co close

      Some times in our lives, become unforgetable
      You became one of thoes times to me

      Thank you for loving me without regret
      knowing now, the outcome

      Rick


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    July 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for submitting this. It is so lovely and I enjoyed reading every word and feeling every feeling!
    Love,
    Azlyn


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sighs..
    You had me at..I.....
    This is simply amazing..
    I'm at a loss for words..which is rare for me..lol
    This is such a wonderful write..
    I adore the romance of this,it just has such a warm and passionate feel..
    As love should feel...even when its to be considered..Sin...
    Best wishes..
    Peace
    ~A~

    • Endeavor gold member
      July 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Asdzaa


      I think you realy felt the words in this
      Your responce telles me this is true

      If love is not pasionate, it is called, LIKE
      Thank you for carring for my writing

      Rick

  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So full of truth and deep love. Passionate and warm. Love is so beautiful...even when it is considered wrong. I adored this write.
    Love,
    Azlyn


  • PrincessOfFire
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This could be conceived two ways, that you are a cheater or you are with your lover at night, while she works through the day. I think most would prefer it be an illicit affair, gossip and juicy details. My self I see it as a married couple seperated by daily life only to meet once again as lovers at night. Either way an excellent write as always.
    Rose

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Rose


      You are a very close reader
      The answer is in the words

      We begain as just friends
      Some women are just compelling

      Rick


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... are you the other man Rick? By this stanza you could be -

    tonight she was only mine
    in the day.. she is yours

    I loved this.. you are a fantastic writer of romance.

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Dawn


      Thank you for your kind words to me
      I always write from life, from my feelings

      It was never my intent, we begain as friends

      Rick

  • passionspenning
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    My Love,
    I was just rereading this to feel you close. Thank you for capturing our most tender and moving moments, where I belong to only you. Please know, your love has blessed me in many ways.
    All my love,
    PP


    • Endeavor gold member
      April 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      My Love

      Thank you for reading my thoughts of my time with you

      I wish I could capture that time forever, Your Rick


  • Jeff.W
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is agreat poem. thanxs for entering it


    • Endeavor gold member
      April 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Jakason

      Thank you for reading

      Hope you read it slow
      almost above a whisper

      Rick


  • aurora13 silver member
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Is there a phrase called Beautiful Sin? That is what I feel about your poem... I don't think a heart, so capable of love, would bother about whether it's love and yearning would be called upon as a sin; May be it is about a few drops of elixir of life, a few moments of unbound self, when inner soul is set free, and words and emotions flow effortlessly.
    "If my love can only be called upon a sin, then let it be, because for me it is worth what a thousand sin-less lives could be."
    The title is so appropriate (sorry, I just noticed it now) and I am really short of adjectives here for this wonderful piece of art...
    Hope to read more of you

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Aurora

      It is clear to me by reading your comment
      that you absorbed my words quite clearly.

      I like this
      "If my love can only be called upon a sin, then let it be, because for me it is worth what a thousand sin-less lives could be."

      Thank you for feeling my words

      Rick


  • PoEtS-bLeEd-InK
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was strong and I love how you say "let me sin my sin" ... that was a very interesting line ... if this is a real, true poem, I hope it all works out for you in the end!

    anyways ...
    great write, thanks for makig it a feature, I enjoyed reading it!!

    ♥ InKy ♥

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi PoEtS

      I am not familure with your writing, I will look
      Most who read me are aware I always write from life
      just where I stand at that moment

      I am flying blind here, just wishing in faith

      I thank you for reading my words
      Please read "Forever and a Day" on my Authors Page

      Rick


  • ebbandflow
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Maybe you should think of what you've given to this person. If their life is mundane and there is not hope of improvement, but they still seem to remain in the same situation, at least they rec'd a glimmer of happiness, love and hope through you... if only for a minute in time, it'll be a memorable moment for a lifetime for them. Keep up the good work.

    Tonya

    Addition 4/9/07:

    Although true to my circumstance, I think that any woman that may commit full blown adultery is being vulnerably kept at home for some reason or another, and through this write it just reminded me of a woman in a bad situation at home but then meeting you and having you and then returning home to the one that keeps her. Although you may have just been a glimmer of hope at the end of the darkness, you will always remain in that woman's heart.

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Tonya

      I read what you said

      I think there is a lot of insite in your thoughts
      and you may be projecting your own feelings out.

      To your words, I must agree
      Thank you for reading so far into my writing

      Rick


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a fine line with knowing indulgence being sin....the good things in life are sometimes so tempting yet sinful....deep passionate, yearning felt throughout the whole piece, Rick...Magnificent....


    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Woochi

      I believe your words

      I thank you for reading this

      Other favorites are at my Focus

      Rick


  • Desire gold member
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow-


    Powerful verse You have penned my Friend and what images of Passion from the Heart
    that You share for this Angel
    Love this piece!
    I tell myself..even in Dreams...
    The Love transcends through space and Time~
    When awake...refreshed~
    relived with the one who brings air to the lungs...
    just by the mere thought of his(or her) name...


    Thank You for sharing this Gem~!
    Many blessings to You!
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Desire

      "Love transcends through space and Time~
      When awake...refreshed~
      relived with the one who brings air to the lungs...
      just by the mere thought of his name..."

      This is beautiful

      Thank you for understanding

      Rick

  • FindingFate
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful are your words always. Rick this is wonderful. You are always in love and life is too short not to be.


    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Trina

      Always love when you read my writing

      Your comments mean a lot to me

      Rick


  • michellemybelle gold member
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Rick,
    I have read this many times, as your words here have provoked many emotions
    loveingly soft,sensual and sad
    when love finds us, we overlook or minimize the flaws possible in a relationship, almost afraid of missing that one true love
    then once love has been born, the challanges can seem or be so large, all we can do is surrender to the moment and hold love close and hope the love can survive and in this case, will belong solely to you

    I wish you all the happiness and love you deserve,
    you have a beautiful heart to always be cherished
    Michelle

    • Endeavor gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Michelle

      Your words are almost poetry to me, so very well said

      I thank you deeply for caring for my words

      I think you found my meaning well

      Your Rick


  • trista gold member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Rick...

    Okay, now for my REAL comment.

    Dang...I still love it.

    Strangely enough, I've been in "her" position, or at least a similar one...and it is a difficult place to be. Even when a relationship has gone flat...there can be so many factors that hold us there. Yet when love is discovered elsewhere, it is hard to pass up the happiness you suddenly realize you can have, and indeed deserve. From your perspective it is also a difficult thing because it's hard to "give" that person back again. Perhaps the hardest part of that is what happens in your mind, thinking of "her" with that someone else.

    A few things I want to clarify...
    "a part of me
    is with you... in your pearl"
    Do you mean "pearl" or "peril" there?

    Also, there is a shift in voice in these lines:
    "tonight she was only mine
    in the day.. she is yours"

    Try this out and see what you think?
    "Only tonight was she mine
    in the day...she is his"
    As always, just a suggestion.

    I love the soft and sensual words you've used for this poem, and really...there is just no way I couldn't love it. You did a fantastic job, and I wish you the best of luck...with your secret, and with the contest. Be happy, my friend...hopefully BOTH of you will be happy.

    Love,
    ~J.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellant/romantic

    Wow, a wonderful romantic write, indeed. Very well done in all aspects.


  • Trueheartforlife
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!!

    A very romantic piece. The imagry you were setting was great. I felt like a whole romantic world was being built while maintaining sad roots. My faveorite part was:

    known you
    from a thousand words i have dreamed
    scenes forever played in my mind

    to have you so close
    is to live a forbidden dream

    That was really touching and I could relate to it. Great writing best of luck in your writing future!!


  • boy-poet
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ahh impressive lots of imagry


  • sublimewriter
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    stunning

    i noticed the forbidden fruit, as an allusion to the garden of eden, the fruit that eve took a bite of. this also alludes to the fruit of a woman, because from my background in science- the ovaries of a fruit are the sweet portions that people often eat. one can see that the woman may have a tightly wrapped garment around her middle. a thousand words.. is a hyperbole- a literary device used to exagerate and to highlight something. the thousand seems to be alluding to the adage of "a picture is worth a thousand words" hence, a picture is painted in this poem. the whole tapestry of string of words you write allures the readers erotic sense figuratively, because she is an emotional/physical seductive goddess to the male speaker in here. -"sublime"

    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Subline

      Your comment is quite perfound and insitefull and deserves a thoughtfull responce. I will comment back when time allows.

      Rick


  • Lady Altheia
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, some sins are hard to give up and we keep committing them over and over so to speak. This was a wonderful piece of poetry.


  • Talking Toni gold member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Sad But Romantic!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is so sad but equally romantic. But this lady needs to make a choice and somewhere there will be heartbreak for someone. Not an easy situation and I don't envy you a bit.Sounds as if you two have fallen deeply in love. I wish for the best to come out in the end for all involved. A very romantic and well written piece though!!!!Thanks for sharing!!!~~Toni~~


  • March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well done man. dont know if it is for one peticular Lady but if so she will love it. new here to read most
    glad to have stumbled onto this.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think you already told me your secret, and I wish you the best with it.
    Very lovely piece of poetry you have here my friend.
    Outstanding !!! poem, very beautiful words, but you already know which poems of yours are my favorites.

    Manyblessings2u & yours always
    Please be happy
    Love Ya,
    Your Friend, Your Buddy,
    Your Joy, Your Joyce


  • Providence
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Rick you captivated me with the first line and drew me into your secreted heart. Releasing me gently at the end of the read, I felt the love, the passion and yes even the sadness and remorse.

    Beautiful work...

    Marianne


  • isadelica
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    yeah, it does a really good job of painting a picture in your mind


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Isadelica

      Thank you for seeing my words so well

      Rick

  • maheo
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    line 8 correct the spelling of sceens to "scenes" and other than that it comes across as very emotionally felt. think that there is great visualisation in this and you penned a fine piece.


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Say my softest words and see you feel the moment as i do almost shaking together." The feeling of first time lovers together with depth of passion yet the fear of excitement within their souls."How do i ever return this wonderful gift to the place where she belongs." The hearts desires would love that time together and yet the mind remembers she should be somewhere else. But, how could one of such desire truely return her without sadness."I move closer to hold you ...once again, My wonderful sin."Often the love that developes would be one of sin and still love may bring two together just the same." Rick, beautiful, loving and will maelt many hearts..


  • Sacrificial Love
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hearing the song...

    "Secret Lovers" in my mind...and seeing the picture you have painted for me with your words...this is incredible brother...
    It's been far too long since I've come to read your work...I apologize...to you...and to myself...for reading you is a true pleasure and a treat to the senses...

    Great write..
    xoxo
    Heidi

    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Heidi

      Thank you Sis, and thank you for saying your name

      Do you remember I am 50 miles N.W. of you, I forgot

      Your comment was very sweet

      Rick


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thats beautiful - I could write music to that. Very nicely done - very sinful


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Angel

      Morning

      Thank you for saying beautiful

      Rick


  • Laura
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lay you in a place of feathers and lace
    and show you the depth of my care for you

    loved those lines they were amazing..you ahve written a very deep poem here love and my imagination ran away with me lol well done this is amazing xxxx

    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Morning Laura

      Always so nice to have you read me

      Thank you for liking my words

      This is my first in two weeks, I never go that long

      Rick


  • spacewench
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Gorgous!

    The words are romantic and extremely enticing to read on. Such feeling, desire and gratefulness for one moment of pleasure.
    Your writing always seem's to touch the heart.


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Spacewench

      I think enticing is good

      Thank you for reading this

      Rick


  • Nature Song silver member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, falling off my chair here! Spellbinding and so captivating. Mere words cannot express my graditude for showing me this piece. 'She is mine tonight, but yours by day.'...Wonderfully worded here my friend. ~Sie


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Sie

      My pleasure to send you these words

      Thank you for always reading me

      You must know, I loved your coment

      Rick


  • Princess-Gloria
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How very intriguing .. I love it !!
    Will be waiting anxiously to find out who this
    special secret love is .
    Love the mystery in it...
    Gloria


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Gloria

      In these words, I would never say a name

      you may like what I made here

      Rick

  • trista gold member
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, Rick! This is just WONDERFUL!!! I love it, love it, love it! This just has to be my all-time favorite of anything you've ever written!

    Much love,
    THE BRAT



    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Trista

      is a Brat.. and that.. is that

      Thank you for falling all over my words

      Com again

      Rick

  • michellemybelle gold member
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Looking forward to reading, oh poet of mystery...
    please share, I love secrets
    Michelle

    I'll save my applause


    • Endeavor gold member
      March 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Michelle

      If you love this secret

      I have another one for you

      Rick

  • Providence
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Be sure to forward this to me when you post it...I would not want to miss it. I agree with the others...and am anticipating a wonderous write.


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Secret Love, she must be pretty special..Waiting for words.


  • ScarletO gold member
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You have kept this secret well kept.


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ooo the mystery of it all...I love it...


  • rhondasail
    March 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Um...I clicked here to read...but,wow..this really is a secret love...lol... I'll stop back when you want to share the secet...

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