[[flickerr, flickerr]]
black&&white images
dance across the screen.
[[flickerr, flickerr]]
you danced across my heart
just like i was watching
one of those foreign films
(the ones in japanese, i don't understand them).
ohh, baby, you always did love
those romance movies
the ones with pretty-girls in red lipstick
(and those boys you're oh-so jealous of).
(remember, hunny, i'm always yours)
i want a happy ending
just like those films you love so much
i wanna wear that red lipstick
(and i want a boy to love me)
why can't that boy be you?
i know you'll never love me, baby
you're too busy
wishing on stars and 11:11
that you could speak japanese.
A contest entry
- For anyone who ever wanted to enter a contest :P by Valley Girl.
450 points, ended April 2, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ditry pretty (a revolution) by Chelsea dagger.
470 points, ended April 12, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eyelash Curlers && Butcher Knives ♥ by anima bella.
350 points, ended April 4, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raneika's Birthday Bash and Anything Goes Contest! (STILL OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!) by Ms Raneika.
436 points, ended July 17, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty Rejects by Delete this polease.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Nice work. Good luck the line. the ones in japanese, i don't understand them. would sound better with out the them. thats just me though.
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thanks for entering =]
good luck. -
Awww such a good poem...I love the flow and the uniqueness of it...thanks for entering my contest much love, Raneika
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Great layout to this piece. I like the tone and it is nicely done :) We appreciate you entering and wish you the best of luck.
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Excellent
Belated congratulations on winning the silver trophy, you certainly deserved it and more. Another fine poem from a very talented young writer. When I was your age I could barely write my name.
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Very nicely done
Enjoyed this.
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this is probably the cutest, most hopeful, heart break poem I ever wrote. I love this poem.
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Definately an interesting twist, I like the idea of the foreign film. An entry in many contests, its bound to win in some of them. Good luck.
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this is incredible. not only is the written word art, but the arrangement of the entire piece is so brilliantly crafted. i love this. its emotional and beautiful. it inspires me to become a better poet. Thank you for writing this.
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oo I loved the first stanza. And wow, the rest is magnificent. The ending was so...heartbreaking! I really understood that "i know you'll never love me". It's an excellent poem. Thanx for entering, and good luck
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this poem is really really good! a really good comparison i love the concept of being like an old b/w movie that you dont understand. welldone thanx for entering x x
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one of my favorites for sure!
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hmmm. i like this. i like the whole idea of being like a foreign film. because if you've ever sat down and watched one they are so different from everything we're used to and i think you painted that very well. i think this poem could be stronger without some of the broken up words with the punctuation. that's what we're trying to create. strong dirty pretty poetry, with the useless punctuation to a limit. and i see how some of it fits very well
(and i want a boy to love me)
i like that line because with the () it takes you out of the poem for a minute to let you knw what you want. and its good. -
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i read your poem a second time... and really thinking about it more i really do like this peice. did you do anything different to it?
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No, I haven't changed it at all.
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This is such a sweet little write, I love how you ended the poem wishing that this boy could speak Japanese and be on the same mind wave as you are. Aww like I said Very cute! Thanks for entering my contest.
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It's not meant to be sweet. It's meant to be that the girl is heartbroken. And I didn't end the poem wishing that he could speak Japanese and be on the same mind wave as I am. Earlier in the poem I stated that I don't know japanese, and he is the one wishing he could speak it. It's all about being unable to communicate and wishing for something you can't have.
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i thought that was an interesting one, based off of foreign films, particularly Japanese ones. any personal background on it or fictional? good, good read.
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Fiction, once again. XD I don't write much from personal experience.
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interesting... this new "dirty pretty" stuff (or whatever it may be called) is quite... interesting... the concept though hits close to home.
good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!
-AC -
Yayy.
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