You can keep your dole
give me back my gold
You can keep your saul
where is my soul?
You can keep your gun
where is my drum?
You can have your gang
where is my land?
Hey you mister
Where is my sister?
Take 'our father'
bring back my brother
Now remove your tether
take me back to MAMA*
Take your bomb
give me back my song
how long?
by the rivers of Babylon
What about your Jesus
why cant he save us
Mothers of harlots?
Why do you decieve us?
You can have your 'AIDS'
back to my hunting days
When my only fear
was what not to wear
Why preaching greenry
when you destroy my scenery?
No (CO)* emission
polluting my homeland
the only pollution
by you and your band
You can have your car
now my journey is far
Now that i am beyond, enduring this pain
tell me now can i get on a train?
can i get on the train without the chain?
You can have your car
now my journey is far
can i get on a ship
whithout the crack of a whip?
Footnote: MAMA = Homeland, CO = carbonmonoxide
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This work is very good... my favorite part was the first stanzas they were really good... I like how you tell them to have something just as long as they return something more important... one of the things that I also enjoyed a lot was your title "La-Man-Tation" really smart and clever... only little advice though... the form was good in the beginning but then it kind of went off somewhere unknown...so you might want to fix the whole two lines or four lines.... and in some parts the groove in your piece is kind of distorted... so you might want to check that out... but anyways real good piece.
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Thanks for the comment sluha,but there is method to my madness.This is how it is when thoughts flow all over the place.
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Fitting Tribute
to freedom! In the rememberance of slavery, how far have we really come? It's interesting that you include the natural world, and how it's very much controlled by 'those in power', cleverly bringing the age old wrongness of use and abuse to our modern day.
(I love the 'give me back my drum' idea. Drums are dangerous...don't they know it! A massive insight there...if we could bang our drums in peace, there would be equality)
plus, the play on Lamentation!
to the flow...I think you need a chorus, as I'm reading it as a song. A protest song! Very much enjoyed.
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