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minimalistic town

heavy scent of gasoline
protrudes from the corner's peek
here, barbecues are taught like math
and local twang
peruses with the country wind
blowing west and
east
to county lines
where
countrysides are drawn
(and felt),
blending into
roadside maps
strewn along my dashboard's
lap,
sipping diet
coke

at dusk 

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • CarCrashHumor
    April 3, 2007
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    you're so talented.


  • grass
    April 3, 2007

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    Another fantastic piece! You have this magical ability to express the stuff that kids like me want to hear p-e-r-f-e-c-t-l-y. Awesome.


  • Mildew in PinK tile
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh whoa
    you are waay in the big leagues with this write. i def knew you had talent but i had no idea it was this immense! honestly.. i think i took a differant approach to the meaning of this but i still was more inthralled by the imagery that i had to read it over to fully get something out of it [in a good way] ha im also a bit slow sorry about that haha anyway!@ i am feeling a bit small compared to this but i'd like to think of this as something to branch off from in my own writing & would def look up to you. thank you again for adding me its a pleasure & to know that you want to read my stuff is like ..hm whats the word? FANFUCKINTASTIC! >.
    [♥]

    • marrow
      April 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      woooooooooow.
      now that's a comment! and psshh, you are amazing. what are you talking about?

      by the by, i originally found your face photo on DeviantArt. i loved it when i saw it as well.


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    March 31, 2007
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    I love the use of sensory images in this.. You have such an art.. x


  • natari
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    When i drove through Montana once this reminded me of some of the towns I passed through.Little hamlets with in some cases no sign of life.This is like experiencing what route 66 would entail. The descriptive narration is solid.It's simple and well minimalism is my world.
    Love ya
    Helen

    I will return to catch up on all your posts.I started work on a poem for our group.Something about mice and nosebleeds.I am so poetically disabled right now LOL.

    squeak squeak.< lol I just woke up

  • FindingFate
    March 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You have painted such a vivid scene.


  • April Renee
    March 30, 2007

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    you had me til diet coke..that stuff tastes like rat posion..not that ive ever eaten rat poison (duh ?) but i've heard stories. lol.

    anyways.

    love the poem, as always. again with the title...im jealous of your ability to do that! always!

    who said the most powerful poems are minimalistic? maybe i did, i dont know. but goes the same for small towns too. atleast the one(s) im from. they appear to be simple but they really hold everything...from soil to soul. theres something deep about what im trying to say lol..but of course i just ate fast food (always always always) and my brain is shutting down.

    but...thoroughly enjoyed the read. please do try diet dr pepper!! they really should recall diet coke...

    blu


  • Freestyle Bushido
    March 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah I live one of these types of towns myself. Especaily this time of year you can come across this seen Love the description and imagery in this piece.


  • Norman Crabtree
    March 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    When i travel from Massachuchets right thru the countryside up to upstate New York. this is what i feel. seeing life and America change and shift into a map itself. and youve captured that here, seeing small town culture slowly blend into a map like a neverending patchwork.

    • marrow
      March 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks man!
      I've driven a lot to my old town this week. It takes me from my current countryside home back to the outskirts of the city, so I really felt and saw some of those that you were talking about.
      j

1 - 12 of 12