15 clocks sit before me
their ticks all busy
they don't slow down for time
The ticks aren't in time with the hours
the minutes
or the seconds
just in time with my life
and someday, all of the seconds hands
will hit the 12 marking
all the alarms will go off
and I will no longer
age with the clocks
Author notes
Xerox
A contest entry
- Age by flight.
900 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Clocks (Time) by Antipodi.
800 points, ended April 13, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Nicely done. I loved this. Life is like clock too. Clocks only go forward, only go forward(in time that is
). This was a very good poem. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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thank you much.
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A great rendition of the weariness of age through classic verse
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I relized what the 15 clocks
symbolized half way through the poem
& it made me smile
This is better, I'm glad you
want improvment, don't we all
peace to all ~flight
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Interesting... To be honest, the only part of the poem that I really enjoyed reading was the last few lines.... It finished off the poem well and was a nice conclusion to a some what confusing poem. You're on the right track, but definitely have a lot of work to do. I really don't like the word ticks and see it several times in a row in your poem. Your poem is confusing until the last stanza and the message is unclear up until then. Possibly try to reword it and make it more clear what you are trying to say. Good luck in the contest
--Tim
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well written, good luck
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I really liked the ending,
though the beginnig kind of contardicted itself,
I don't see how the clock can't be with the
time and the minuetes or seconds.
I get that the clock symbolizes your life,
though I found some parts a little confusing.
Thanks for entering!
peace to all ~flight
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