charged
these particles i have
my hair is up on ends
a cat, a willow tree
too wet from april rain
and autumn wind
i am
Author notes
experimental, again.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Ah!
I like this:
a cat, a willow tree
too wet from april rain
and autumn wind
i am
specially those very last two words.
Beautiful.
<3 Kat
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♥
expierimental indeed.
but its flawless.
i don't even understand how i even understand it but oddly enough i do! or i think i do ha
its so tripping me out how you fit something as big as an image in so little amount of words & not only that it has perfect ending where there's no questions at the end "like whats next". veryyy well done. love love love
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This interesting-
I like it. It loops.. the 'I am' At the end.. it's un-punctuated so i autmatically carried on to the beginning,, I am charged.. And on each new read, a sort of punctuation appeared in the way I read it.
I liked this a lot--
nice. x
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This just flows well. The last three lines really strike me. Experimental ... well, we need to experiment sometimes and it turns out well for you, obviously
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Well done! i enjoyed this very much! grand images! i get the impression that to be aware is to be on edge 'charged' and yet very confused... with the mixing of seasons, and the swapping of the front line to go at the end (i think thats what you did! lol
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This is like a riddle and I'm going to have to ponder on it.The image of your hair up like a Halloween cat gave me a giggle.
~Helen
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sounds like somethings up and you're nervous or excited or ready for something.... but since i don't know what that may be ??? I'm at a loss.. I will say that it is intriging and i love the last line as well as the first
maybe you're a summer person?
Keep experimenting - why not?!?!?
Betsy
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eh. I'll be honest, it wasn't one of my favorites but you but the image is definitely crisp.
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You put this in the "personal" category, so I assume that the points I'm missing are ones that I couldn't get unless I knew exactly what you're talking about, which I don't because it's, well... personal. Therefore, I am just going to say that I loved the individual images and the way that they follow one after the other. I'm so excited that you ended the poem with "i am." I love "I am" poems. The first line drew me right in. One word, but it was intriguing. I liked the whole piece very much, obviously.
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