Smothering Cold
w r
-me- a
s p
-freezing my heart to
Lam ( ) pposts
B
U
T
ALL i CAN THINK OF IS spring
you can pushmeround
and
pullmedown
and yes
i will go round And d
o
w
n
but you can not r i
take my mind p n
from the light that s gs
from winterss
End
As dark as it gets
ALL i CAN THINK OF IS spring
Author notes
About hope and how after winter there is always a spring
Option about hope
A contest entry
- 0 by Lauren Noir.
850 points, ended June 2, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Mania-BUT!! by JeannieD Hunter.
500 points, ended April 4, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - An enlightened "Soul"... has slept for a thousand years... by LadyLavender.
850 points, ended May 18, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spring time madness Anything happy by Red Rose of Light.
375 points, ended June 9, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very well done best of luck.
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awesome
I really like this. I like how you group your word. very clever. -
I liked this, it took me a while to get round the words,but when I did I realised how clever they were
And the message enclosed in it was just so beautiful
And so clever
I twas so hopeful, and to keep your mind in the right place
It just left a great impression
Well done, I love this
I can't thank you enough
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thank you so much! that is very sweet of you, and I think you give me more credit than i deserve! I was trying to express the hope i have that this 'winter' will end, and Im glad that you found that useful!
May you always see spring roll round again!
xxx
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Very interesting style. It was kinda hard to decipher at first, but the meaning made it through. Great creativity. Thanks and good luck.
Jeannie -
this wasn't a bad piece, but all of the play with the text was distracting in my opinion. it took me much longer to try and figure out what was said in certain lines, and i feel it would have been more effective had it not had those little format plays. that said, the poem itself wasn't bad. it's more memorable than most entries i've read so far. thanks for entering, j
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I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy the text play on these poems, for me they are so much fun, and i feel they add to the feel of the poems. I don't think i'd like to change it. I think because poetry (at least on a website!!)is a visual thing (e.g. the words that you use) rather than a spoken thing, it is worth experimenting with visual effects. As you say, they read aloud fine, which means that there is a lovely difference between the spoken and read. Thanks for your comments though, but as you see, i wasn't really trying to enhance the text, merely to compliment it.
Thanks alot!
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Wonderfully joyful, I like all the shape business! Lampposts and the final spring are my favourites, really got a sense of your joy I think. It must be the beautiful weather that brings about such euphoria?
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