it's lonelier
wherever I turn up-
through pot holes;
on beer-stained sheets
like how my sacrificial blood
no god would ever bend to take
plasters like a monument
on brick streets.
Too similar,
too uneven,
for anyone to notice.
Author notes
not really a light.
In a list
A contest entry
- Very Lights II by ea.
400 points, ended March 30, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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hopeless indeed && so sad =[
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The title is great for this piece. It feels hopeless. By the end you sound uncaring but sad about it at the same time ... which is just insane I think. Loneliness is shitty, for sure.
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well said, gangsta.
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Wow, it's you!
congrats.
lonely, hanging there like the jar. I liked how obscure this was, with the idea of a jarred life hanging on, my own trying to see what was in the photo that inspired this. -
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thanks so much marcy!
I was so surprised =]
xoxx
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not very light but
very good.
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whoa
this has a great appeal to it dear
def these lines:
like how my sacrificial blood
no god would ever bend to take
plasters like a monument
on brick streets.
Too similar,
too uneven,
for anyone to notice.
i dearly hope they know what they have read, i fully enjoyed this hun! keep at it
[♥]
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!! <3
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good
I like it alot. It was short and easy to read and I love the title. ^^ Great job. continue the great work! xD
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thanks so much
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ure welcome. ^^
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Awesome ending bby
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thanks!
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