There was a simpler time.
Ladies with bonnets
and round bellies
spent their days
milking Ole Bessie,
mending socks and
tending gardens
with the pitter-patter of tiny feet
tugging on long skirts.
Grunting work horses and strong backs
toiled the fields in sweat soaked shirts
only coming inside at dusk
when Spring’s chill set in
and meal bells rang.
Scrubbing calloused, blistered hands
in lye soap
and warming them by the coal stove.
Quiet evenings were for families.
By the flicker of oil lamps
and the gentle lullaby of crickets,
innocence slept without worry
under hand sewn quilts
with teddy bears and rag dolls
held tightly in arms;
not to awaken
until the rooster called
the new day’s praise.
Under the smell of must
and hidden by old age,
children were raised
on buttermilk and cornmeal,
on bible studies and chores,
with morals and values.
Sticks across the picket fence
and laughter
made the sweetest music of all.
Under inches of dust
once lived
a lifetime of love.
Author notes
It wasn't that long ago...
simple free verse from image inspiration
In a list
A contest entry
- pretty as a picture: part two by FindingFate.
300 points, ended March 30, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any thing goes by love me 4 who i am.
330 points, ended April 11, 2007, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your absolute best poem by Gypsy-at-Heart.
850 points, ended May 2, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you got! by SilentRose.
450 points, ended May 11, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories by Autumn-Blush.
300 points, ended May 15, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Power, Placement, Perspective by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended May 11, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you know the muffin man??? by Dreams27.
450 points, ended July 1, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Faves' Contest - invite only! by sandgoddess.
1200 points, ended July 11, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking For Crickets by Celticmoon.
1500 points, ended July 15, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Hmm, I just have one suggestion. I thought the ending could've been a little stronger, but you know how picky I am about endings. Other then that... strong emotions and vivid, original imagery & ideas. Good work... keep weaving your pen
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Lori,
You leave me to wonder just where it is you find your muse for such a piece as this. This is not only original but it is quite lovely with that old heritage charm. You brought me back to the days of Little House on the Prairy. You have left me with a smiling memory not many can accomplish. Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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cricket
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A college English professor once told me that people who write well tend to know that they do. I think you fall into this category. On one hand it is impossible not to promote this piece, if we take it at face value, since the images that you craft out of words are so completely in tune with what they should be. On the other hand, I could allow this comment to devolve into some sort of dicussion on the merits of your "argument." Since the later seems trashy, however, I think I'll have to go with the former.
This piece is a jeweled tiara that crafts a Rockwellesque vision of a past that makes the reader frown at the unfortunate "advancements" humans have made in the last few decades. We are compelled (and acquiesence easily follows) to forget the more brutal aspects of our past and remember, instead, the sense of togetherness that is bred through widespread symbiosis.
There are no unnecessary words or sections included within the text. Personally, this piece made me think of my farm-dwelling relatives and how these words could easily adorn a wall, encased within a plaque, a rememberance of what used to be - what is clung to with the very sweat and strength you write about. In that sense this piece manages the same pertinence as a photo album or 8mm cassette tape. And finding it here on the internet, a staple of the new-age life so opposed by the poem, drives that point home.
Certainly, we are reminded by your writing that there is no bad time to revisit the better parts of ourselves that may have erroded with too much exposure to our present lives.
Thank you for this entry.
~Das -
wow!! i enjoyed his poem so much!! I would love to go back to the simpler days and this poem took me there, nice and gently, for a little while!! thank you for this beautiful entry! take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxx
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This is great
It was smooth and relaxing
It took me to words beyond, the description was fantastic
I loved the recall of it all
Well done, I loved reading it, it seemed to flow so beautifully
Well done
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This was such a relaxing piece. I thouroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you for transporting me to a time and place when life simple and full of love.
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with the addition of some technology, like electricity and indoor plumbing...but minus the long skirts, this wasn't so long ago for me but I see the reason, simpler times are becoming extinct.
Of course, they were harder, the days longer and rewards were not materialistic... I can't help but think that modern society already has a side effect of losing simpler days... that side effect I think is the inability to amuse themselves... thus amusement in all its forms are a huge, huge industry.
Great write!
s and best wishes ~Genie~
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Lori, this is just so amazing! A piece that made my heart skip, aching for that sort of life... I just think that if we had the 'struggle' of those days, where technology was training your horses quicker, and finding new ways to live in harmony. The imagery here is wonderful, bursting at the seams with such brilliant purpose.
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wow
what an amazing poem!! i love the imagery and how i could see everything you were talking about! I guess this is just a free verse.... remember, i needed to know the style??? thank you for entering my contest! -
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Thanks for the lovely comment. I've edited to include that this is simply a free verse piece.
~Lori
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its fantastic!!!! worth all the effort you put into it!! amazing!!!
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I love this poem. I also believe that a time when life was simpler was a time when life was happier. The subject of the poem really touched me and the words your used were fantastic. This is definetly a fantastic write.
I especially love your descriptions of the family, because it takes me back to being a little girl reading Laure Ingalls books again! And after all poetry is meant to take you on a journey! -
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Thanks for the lovely comment on this piece. It's greatly appreciated.
~Lori
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Beautiful words. Sometimes we need to slow down and try to simplify what we can, but that is so hard to do in today's society. Your last two stanzas made my eyes well up with tears...Well done. I really liked it.
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This is very good
You draw wonderful pictures for the mind to ponder. It took me back to my childhood when things were so much simpler...made me cry for the state of this world. This seemed different for you, but certainly excellent poetry.
love - Auntie Wolfie (your biggest fan)
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Wonderful voice to a day in the shoes of care. Great job ... loved the flow and format. Thank-you for entering Prewrites.
~Ryan~ -
Wonderful imagery! I always love it when I'm able to clearly envision the scene described. The last three lines add a very wistful quality to the poem.
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OMG that is a beautiful show of years of yesterday... i love the bit about bible stories and chores with morals and values... seems to be lacking so much in todays society.
cheers
Jen
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I loved the way in which you brought the pic to life for us, as if you had been there all along and watched it enfold. and your last three lines, wonderfully apt.
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Easy to see why this took the gold! Incredible! Profound words that paint a vivid picture with a clear message! A pleasure to read!
Blessings
Frogz~
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A simpler time did not mean an easier time as your poem shows but their lives were less complicated. Between hard work, simple meals together, bible studies and devotionals, this generation had a solid set of morals and values for living fulfilled lives. Our own generation would do good to learn from our humble ancestors.
You have painted a beautiful word tapestry with threads of imagery and emotion. I am going to bookmark this one for sure.
Well Done my friend,
Dennis
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Quite a moment of insight there.
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I love that word "grunting" as it reminds me of my late wife when she and I did the dance of the mounted beasts and she did one.
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Quite a "little house on the prairie" moment there. I traveled back in time and could see it all clearly. Awesome imagery. Fine job. Congratulations on the well deserved gold.
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You brought me there with your lovely images...they certainly lived a much harder life, back then, but also a much slower paced life. Sometimes I wonder what the pioneers would think of life today? Well written!
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Oh My God!!!!
Lori ~
You have just penned the best poem I have
read since.......a lonnng time ago ~
As a man of nature, and being raised by
my grandparents for a spell, you took me right back to
my childhood which I remember the most...
...and cherish as a gift only once in a lifetime
can be given ~
I had to paste this....>>
Under the smell of must
and hidden by old age,
children were raised
on buttermilk and cornmeal,
on bible studies and chores,
with morals and values.
Sticks across the picket fence
and laughter
made the sweetest music of all.
Under inches of dust
once lived
a lifetime of love.This is so incredibly penned, that I want to
know if I can paste this on my profile page ~
It would be an honor for me to have it there
to remind people of what and where we came from ~
This is soooo worth the GOLD!!
You are becoming one of my favorite Poets here my Dear ~
Bear hugz for you alllll week long!!
Bear ~
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Thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece, Bear! You are too kind. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this write of those simpler times and I'd be honored to have this included on your author's page. Sadly, the awesome image I drew inspiration from has disappeared temporarily from the page because my gold membership expired today.
But it will be back later this week, I hope! Thank you again for your lovely words. They mean a lot to me!
~Lori
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Outstanding
A beautiful write and presentation. Exceptional imagery, flow and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Excellent word choice. Good alliteration and assonance. You have painted a beautiful picture of 'this simpler time'. Love shines brightly in this piece. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read. Congratulations on winning Gold. Well deserved.
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Nice
great poem, i could really imagine myself there, i love it when poetry speaks out like that, its almost as if teh poem itself is speaking to you Great Job! -
What a great old photo and a lovely write to accompany it. Liked the wonderful visuals one imagines when reading these lines - congratulations on winning gold in this contest - well deserved.
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This is gorgeous, it describes life as it once was. It flows so sweetly, and is so descriptive of the people and time.
Under inches of dust
once lived
a lifetime of love.
The love is still, and you have brought it forth in this lovely poem.
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wonderful write, as always, my friend. EAsy to see the gold as deserved. My one input is that wood stoves were more common, especially on farms as wood was free and easily obtained, coal was more for the trains and some businesses. Wood also burns cleaner and better smelling, especially for cooking. Just a thought, although one coming from actual experience, of a sorts hehe.
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Thanks Peg for the sweet comment! Much appreciated, as always. I prefer to keep the old coal stove in this write as that is how I remember my young years and time with my grandparents, who were the inspiration for this piece. They had an old pot-bellied coal stove that my grandpa would warm his hands by after a long day. He was a coal miner and farmer, managing to somehow do both each day (and people today think they work too hard! HA!) so I will leave it as it's written. It's very representational to me. I grew older with a good old wood burner, as you said, but the smell of coal burning was just like yesterday when I saw Trina's riveting image for her contest. Amazing how sensory our memories can be. Anyhoo, thanks again hun!
~Lori -
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Ahh, I see, yes it is indeed; for this piece actually brought my own memories of my great grandparents farm, which I worked a few summers, ( hence the experience hehe) and in that area, wood was the way to go, being 'free' and accessible. I sit here at this moment smelling that sharp tang of the wood as I learned to cook on it. They were people loathe to modernize and I leanred more about the 'old ways' then I ever wanted too, hehe.
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We've burnt a lot of wood ourselves and it is so much cleaner than the coal dust! I wish my kids had an inkling of those times. Maybe then they'd truly know what "a day's work" was! LOL
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oh i so agree... I try not to be like my folks and pull out the 'When I was a kid..." chestnut, but there are times... especially now as I deal with three teen boys, hehe
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I hear ya! I didn't walk barefoot 8 miles to school in 4 feet of snow, like my dad used to tease me!! BUT, I knew what it was to do real chores everyday, not just tidying my room. I was raised on a farm and I worked! Kids today don't have a clue.
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aye, my sons feel neglected and misused when i limit their computer and phone time, or refuse to let them watch a particualr movie on CABLE, lol i keep thinking of bil cosby ' i walked 13 miles, in the snow uphill.. BOTH WAYS, year round!" lmao and actually, I did walk to school all weathers and, for reasons of wher ei had to go after school it really was uphill both eays, hehe. Even at home I worked more than my kids do and they just do not get it, but i imagine our fols can say the same of us. Technology is both a boon and a base for laziness hehe.
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this is a wonderful write that makes one long to be back in the days when priorities were home and family not rat race and pacage hollidays
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Thanks for the lovely comment, honey bear! Much appreciated. Often, I wish I was raising my family then instead of now.
~Lori
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I fell in love with this the first read and it gets better each time I read it again. Lori, truly this deserved the gold here.
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Thanks Trina! I'm pleased with and proud of this piece. It was an effortless write, as stories of my grandparents younger years came flooding back when I saw that gorgeous image. Those truly were simpler times and I wish I was raising my family in those days of hard work and values instead of what we live now. Glad you found this one interesting. The Gold is much appreciated!
~Lori
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AMAZING MY DEAR FRIEND!
Your words describe me so well here. This is exactly how it was for me and yes it really was not that long ago.
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Thanks so much for the lovely comment and applause, Kevin! It's much appreciated, my friend. It's nice to know that you can relate to this much simpler time. This piece was a joy to write, it let me recapture some of my fondest memories of childhood and my grandparents stories of their young life. Those sweet reflections brought home the Gold and I bet my grandparents would be thrilled.
~Lori
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