Do you feel me?
Yes I know you are there.
Can you smell my sweet familiar?
Yes it is this that I fear.
Do you want to take me in?
Yes but not today.
You think you can withstand my presence?
I have nothing more to say.
Feel your heart racing through your chest?
Yes so hard I can even hear.
Is your body shaking because your cold?
No because you are oh so near.
Let me flow into your vein?
But I can not break all promises I have made.
Do you think they would even notice?
Yes,from the last time that we played.
Just one more time for old time sakes?
Just go away and quit haunting me.
Don`t you recall letting me into your world?
Yes, but now I need you to set me free.
Author notes
Me and Mr. Addiction having conversation.
option #6
In a list
A contest entry
- Many options by forget my memories.
450 points, ended March 13, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Great
I know what you mean, I have been there done that. And it was so very hard for me to stop, But I did so with my own will power and a little help from a few others. So hang in there,Okay -
This was pretty cool how you made it like a conversation. It was creative and different which i think is good. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you.
Sam -
wow
We are definently on the same wave length lol, this is AMAZING!!!! Thank you for leading me here
Savina
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amazing! I love how you use question and answers in your poem
This is a very relatable poem! i have a friend who has a drug addiction but whenever i try and help her she throws it back in my face It is can be so frightening sometimes.
Thankyou for your poem! it has touched me
x
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honest and real. i like it very much.
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oh wow this was amazing, and i'm very pleased that you told me in your notes what your fear is. I wish you the best on everything. Thank you very much for entering this amazing poem in my contest. Best of luck to you.
Jenn
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FEMnoMENal
WURDPLAY on a different level..LOVED IT!!!
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Thank you for you kind words my friend!
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don't you ever stop writing you are brilliant with it. this one as well as the other one i read touches me very so. this is a beautiful work and i can see the conversation happening in my head as i read. kudos to you.
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This poem is awesome. Dont stop writing. Thanks for your entry.
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Amazing
Amazing, couplets of Q&A you have over there. I could sense the narcotic yearn of addiction being gently subdued by your convictions to yourself and Life.
You have related the process of an addict's temptation quite well, and i enjoyed reading the rollercoaster of ride of temptations.
The last stanza is very meaningful to me.
"Don`t you recall letting me into your world?
Yes, but now I need you to set me free."
Through word play, you changed the perspective of addiction and told all what must be done.
Bkmarked it.
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wow...very well written poem...your a finalist.
Susan -
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Thank you
I am glad you like it.
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a really great write. i like the Q/A approach you used. thanks for entering!
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Great write, my friend. This is one of my favorites of yours, one of the best I have read! Well done
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I know people who struggle with drug addiction and it's SO frightening. I'm a product of what can happen when a mother does drugs while she's pregnant. But anyway. I'm glad that you're having courage because I could never stand by someone who is willing to kill themselves.
You're commendable.
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Like it
I live in a town torn apart by this stuff. I live in the country, and there are labs everywhere. I wish you would read my poem the satan of powders. I think you will relate. Xcellent write!!!!!!!!!!!
POETDONTKNOWIT
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Brilliant write !! This is something I have watched friends struggle with - some making it and some not so lucky
!!! Powerful words and great message of strength and hope. Peace! Betsy
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Touching!
This is a really touching poem. I myself use to battle a drug addiction that took me awhile to overcome so I know what the writer is going through. It's hard and the temptation is even worse. You have to stay strong and keep saying no, not today. I am really glad you wrote this piece with really great emotion, tender, and it flowed nicely. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing!
USMC Baby Girl!
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I had a cousin who ruined her family because of meth and other drugs. She still isn't clean and doesn't want to be clean. I see her children suffering from it everyday and I can relate to this poem. I had an addiction, not to meth..but an addiction and I'm still fighting it. It means everything to have someone on your side as you fight an addiction. You're an amazing writer, keep up the excellent work.
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Telling
I, too overcame Meth. I commend you for standing next to someone in that. I really enjoyed this write. Best of luck.
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the lasts lines were inspiring. this is very good. i've had a few problems with meth in my family--from my stepfather to my brother to my younger sister to my own mother, someone who i never thought would use n' it didn't bring them any amount of good..or our family. everytime i think about how many friends i've watched ruin their lives with that shit, it makes me sick. this is a great piece. hope things are better
xoxo,
lys
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I used to be addicted to drinking, smoking, and caffiene. Now I'm off all three. I'm sure meth is a lot more difficult to break than any of those three. These kinds of poems are really important to write because they discuss important themes relevant to us all. Keep up the good work.
John Carney -
"Don`t you recall letting me into your world?
Yes, but now I need you to set me free." That's my favorite part! I loved this poem! And your mom is doing a great job! Addictions are very hard to break!
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Brilliant poem. Gorgeous picture. Truly wonderful piece of work!
"Can you smell my sweet familiar?
Yes it is this that I fear."
LOVE IT! I just want to laugh evily muahah!
A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33 -
all i can say is i am praying for the two of you.I pray she can replace that voice with His own loving voice.
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Wow. This is one of the most powerful poems I've read in a very long time. I love the form you used, with the question/response pattern. It comes off as a real conversation, with the drug haunting you, and you knowing you need to get away from it. The rhyme works nicely; it doesn't seem forced or cliche anywhere.
Amazingly well-done. I wish you the best of luck.
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Your Mother's strength and resolve are very inspiring and much make you very proud. Thanks for sharing this
poem that I'm sure will help many.
All the best,
David Michaels
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stunning.
this is awesome; very inspiring,very powerful,and i love your style of writing.. impressive.
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powerful
i loved this. my boyfriend used to do meth, and he hadn't done it for about a week when i had met him, we started going out and he says that i made him strong enough to stay off of it, and he has kept to his word and hasn't touched it since.. i love him so much and i am so so so proud of him. i'm happy for you and your mother that things are getting better.
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What's really funny is that when I first saw the title I immediately thought of the Linkin Park song...and after I read your poem I started thinkin, it's kinda sorta similar to the song if you think of it in the sense you have here.
The picture goes really well with this, might I add. -
Very unique way you have written this, as from the addiction's point of view, asking the one addicted to come and play. Easy to read and understand, hard to gight off, yet done in this poem.
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This is a poignant piece, not everyone understands the temptation and calling of addiction, you have portrayed yourself with wonderful strength and determination.... I wish you the best with the ongoing fight
Excellent piece, well worthy of the front page exposure
Karen
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Very nice. I can relate having seen alot of friends go down to drugs and lose themselves. Coming from a state with such horrible drug problems its nice to read about someone getting past them even if its only fiction.
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Well done! I love how you've put this together. Very creative.... as recovering alcoholic I can relate to this great struggle. Excellent write.
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wow wow your good thank you wow i need time here get back at you soon
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Very Good
I like the third stanza, and the fourth cos I can relate to them to some extent. "Don`t you recall letting me into your world?" and the last line had it all!
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Understand Completely
I could have written this. Really, if I could have found the words I could have written this! I know (too well) these thoughts; they're a daily refrain, a mantra. A dance we dance everyday and it sucks. I missed the date on this, but I hope you pull through it clean. Its so, so hard. When you've got something that fills that emptiness and numbs that pain . . . it would be such an easy choice. But so expensive a cost. You really captured the daily struggle of an addict here; even if I hadn't the same experiences your message would have come across like a punch to the gut. Bare, gritty, visceral and best of all, honest. Great job.
FaeRae
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Forgot to applaud and I'm trying to now!
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Chilling!
Wow I thought I was reading about God at first and then it dawned on me that this is about drugs. It has a chilling effect on me being an ex intravenus drug user myself. I know this voice and presence calling me from of old but I don't hear it any more! Your last line is the best, about wanting to be set free.
Perhaps you could add it to tha tomb's reading list?
Love, light & peace
Georgia -
hm, in line fourteen, it should be break, not brake (thats for cars) Other than that though, the poem is fairly well done throughout, with a fairly consistant rhyme and a good enough flow. I would have liked to see a little more consistancy in line length, but still, overall and enjoyable read, great work and thanks for entering, Best of luck to you!
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Haunting write I saw this in lots of ways, it could be a spiritual poem from either god or satan, it could be a poem of abuse or it could just be a ghost poem Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for your comment
Pozo
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Ooh, I like the conversation you have going on here between you and this haunt. That "ghost" could represent so many different things, too, and you presented this in a way that others will relate to it really well. We've all had this kind of conversation with a ghost or two in our lives. Nice thoughts here...uniquely presented.
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lynnkte
yes i do love it
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