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My Confession

I never understood it.
Why did I cry when you left?
My eyes were streaming out tears,
that my heart could never understand.

I knew you, who you were, and the reason you were in my life.
I blame myself for never seeing you,
I blame myself for losing you,
and I blame myself for all the things that I never was able to tell you.
So as I stood over you,
as your body laid slumped on the dinning room chair,
my tears were those of guilt,
for not knowing you, I never cared for you whole heartedly
I regret everything that I had done to you
and I hope that you didn't leave this world feeling unloved.

I love you Gran,
I love you,
words I never got a chance to say.
This is my confession to you,
something that has been on my mind for years since your part.

My heart no longer, beats heavy when I say your name.
I no longer feel shame.

Your peaceful face remains at comfort,
as I remember seeing you
lay in your coffin.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • darlintlc silver member
    August 28, 2008

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    I know the feeling of regrets...things u wished u had said or done while u still had the chance. I'm glad ur at peace with it now.

    I'm sure your gran knows u loved her!!
    great write and thanks for entering
    darlintlc


  • Florida Sunshine
    February 25, 2008

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    The imagery ~ is over the top god ~ beautiful tribute to your grandmother ~ We all have regrets to make changes to the things we said ~ or do ~ but know if someone loves you ~ they'll never hold resentment ~ to any of that ~ but instead understanding ~ I'm glad you don't feel guilt ~ You shouldn't feel guilt ~ but maybe the luv she held for you ~

    I certainly felt the luv you held for her ~ beautiful tribute ~ good luck to you!


  • a means to an end
    June 7, 2007

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    wow. hanks sooooo much now i'm crying becuase i felt exactly the same way at my granfather's funeral. i never really got along with him. my 2 other sistrs did but me and him never had anything in common. i dont know why i cried either. i guess when someone dies people who cry cry because they loved them with every ounce of their soul and there isnt anything you can do to change it. great write very touching piece


  • XInsanity-FairX
    May 8, 2007
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    wow... it's great.. full of emotion straight from the heart, well done and good luck