There is a path I’ve seen the magic
of dark secretes and ancient curses
luring power that creates spawned from the heart
an incredible strength and terrible corruption
I’ve read the pages I pursued peace of mind
and longed for the knowledge
yet I am afraid of and no longer feared
the consequence of my actions
would I destroy the with the power to harm the
world instead of being its savior
Author notes
first part is ment to be read as two poems in one, so start on the left and read down, then on the right and down, using the middle in both poems.
In a list
A contest entry
- Magical argument by Neophyte.
550 points, ended April 14, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very cool as always!
Nice one dude. As always I like the style. Also, lol I'm kinda into the magic thing so yeah awesome dude. But hey when u get the chance check my new poem the pain behind the smile I could really use your opinion. Thanks dude!
~Webb
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You misused 'weather' both in the poem and in one of your replies. 'Ones' should be 'one's'. There may some other minor grammatical issues, as well.
Philosophically, this piece mirrors Abelard's debate: Is it better to avoid sin, or to resist it? As a young teacher he thought that it was better to resist, but he ultimately fails. Would a wise master teach a young student so openly? I wonder. Delightful job nonetheless.
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thanks for the corrections, don't know about abelards debate, but i was thinking starwars and the forse, lol. but I think the fear of failing is worse than failing, for then you would never try. thanks agian.
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I've read most of the Star Wars series, too. Where do you think they got the idea?
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i don't know, but the new series with Jacen solo becoming a sith lord is going to be cool, i think...
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I loved the beginning structure where it's distorted to represent conflicting thoughts! I'm assuming another magician is persuading him not to delve into such arts, which was pretty good (I don't seem to see if the wizard decided or not, but I am going to assume he listened to the other's words of wisdom. Good write up!
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on the contrary, the master wizard is saying its fine to learn the dark arts that good and evil comes from the heart not the magic, to know all knowledge is fine, as long as you control yourself and your desires, thanks for your comment I tried to respond to the concerns of the young mage and still leave it open for the readers imagination as to weather he took the advice or not.
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aww I see, very well done indeed. Thank you for entering (hehe don't think I'll give you gold immediately since you gave it to me in your contest
)
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wouldn't want you too, just judge me based on my work
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god damn
Just like you did to me for my poem, I had to re-read this one more time. This was excellent. Really it was, I have been reading so much fantasy lately, and I just thought that this was a really good write up. I love the structure - it's amazing. Once again thanks for entering the contest and best of luck to you. -
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thanks, if its ok im posting your work on my home page.
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By all means, rape my work if you want
just bring it back home by 11
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