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Hero and Villain

 

 Read Blue and Orange down first, Then, read Red and Orange down second

 

Hero and Villain

 


Rise in all your glory                           Flood ever so deviously
this cascading city
so I may swing on your vines              so I may swim in your corruption
and breathe in this                         and delight in fall of this
pinnacle of civilization
yet I am opposed by another
one who wishes my defeat
like a mask of terror                           like an emblem of hope
    cloaked in darkness                          masked by misguided grief
I see a figure looming in the night
flying through buildings
yet nowhere in sight
destiny has bitten me                   science is my formula
and has given me my arsenal
so I may fight crime                       I will be crime’s leader
even if it means the destruction of the other
for peace                                   for fear
and order
fluid webs secrete                        pumpkin bombs rain
passionately and destructively
like tempest beating shaded stores
our battle spills over into the streets
sixth sense alerts to                       now razor bat tossed
behind the rubble
a dodge and a struggle                  no avail, yet I shall prevail
in this battle of good vs. evil
I will feel no fear
for I stand for justice                     for that is what I create
I am
Spiderman                                Green Goblin
and I was born to be a
Hero                                           Villain

Author notes

written in "Symmetrical Antonyms" style by Darc Raven
one poem read as two. I, IndividualEleven, am the sole writter of this poem, the form was created by Darc in his other writes.

Read the blue and orange down, then the red and orange down, for two poems in one.

In a list

A contest entry

Please Applaud if you think it worthy, thanks.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 175     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • DarkShard
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    I commend you for your style, it gave a lift to the words you used, which were not wow words but for this poem were effective together.
    I am going to take you to the second round and see if we can encourage a piece with your structure and words that will wow, because i beleieve that you have the potential to blow us all away.
    see you in round 2


  • Umi Juvariel
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    I like this style. It is unique, but perfect for your piece. It gives a better understand of the hero and villain, and how the two are interconnected. Without the one, the other would not be. I liked the flow and the feel of this piece, and the word choice was wonderful too. Excellent write and good luck in my contest!

  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was.. just amazing!
    You can tell you put forth so much
    time and dedication and effort into
    this write. Love the colour code effects.
    It played wonderfully in this write.

    Brilliantly done!!

    Best of luck & thanks for entering

  • sanguigno
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    wow. i love this its sooo different!

    thanks for entering

  • Gypsy Via Orleans gold member
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    this was a very good poem. i loved the form and how you really showed both sides of the coin.i've never seen this done before.think i'm going to try my hand at it.

  • liltulip gold member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply

    interesting form!

    thanks for sharing!!!


  • jlucson
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    so hard lol


  • ilovemyemo
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    cool!! i love the formate of this and such a wonderful write!

  • PoJonez
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Mad respect to you and your brother. This style is completely awesome. I may post another reply later, when I'm done being blown away. thank you for sharing this with everyone. Flipping BRILLIANT

  • Shawnecy808
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this write is amazing.The style is something I have never seen before and its awesome.Both sides read great very very entertaining and awesome.Did I mention how AWESOME it was!!.Great pen.

    . Rewarded 6


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was an amazing style. Its a style I have Never! come across before which is amazing, I shall have to try it myself though it seems tough. This was so well written the way it was all together, a brilliant write I actually don't know what to say, fantastic work here. I also, have! to applaud which I never do in contests.
    Laura


  • Sakura Avalon
    February 7
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    It perfect I hope to see one of your poems again!


  • hawkeslake gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    I don' t think I've ever read anything quite like this before! It is intriguing and charming and altogether delightful for someone who enjoys comic heroes and villians. I think this is very well-done, but I have nothing to compare with it. So I guess I will just have o say, "Bravo!"

    . Rewarded 9


  • poetcide
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    This format is awesome 2 poems in one very nice


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    it was a bit difficult for me to read the format but i like this very much. you have earned my applause. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie

    . Rewarded 6


  • WithinYourEyes
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is so creative! I love it. It's fun to read. A little hard to focus on, but fun and original for sure! Only one thing I noticed: breath should be "breathe". Good job!
  • patrick20traveler
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    The structure is a good way to present the opposing points of view of Hero and Villian. I guess I'm lazy. I kind of got tired of the originality of the form towared the end. Interesting write.

  • Shy Little Lamb gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    I just love the way you set up your poem, Wonderful flow of words. The colors of of the lines. Are very nice. It was very much a pleasure to read your poem.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Angelflower
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. this was amazing..Tow sides make one whole piece.. I really love it!This really blew me away.. I'm in shock at what Darc's creation did.. I mean this is a whole new level.. I really loved it! And I can see by all the shiny that a lot of other people did as well.. Thank you very much for sharing!


    Angel

    • Darc Raven gold member
      June 18
      Edit | Reply
      Hey dear, just read your comment. thanks for the compliment on my style. my brother did a wonderful job with it..

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    January 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is surely somthing else! I couldn't find the rhyme scheme yet I enjoyed reading this. All the best in the contest!
    Becks


  • okadadokie
    January 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is super! I love how this was written thanks for the write.

    ~Oka/KC

  • Ringside
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great write

    I really liked this structure. It was very refreshing. Great wording as well. I’ve always enjoyed reading and writing on comic book characters.

  • EphemeralStyle
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That is kewl. But at the same time i have to wonder what goes on in a villian's head. I don't think anyone believes they're the bad guy. However, this is a fantastic poem! A very creative idea for the form too. I love the contrast in emotion! Nice!
  • Judith Chandler
    December 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very impressive write. congrats on the trophies.

  • aslanlight
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is the most unique poem I've read for some time. It's the sort of poem that causes contemplation and gives much food for thought. Congrats on your goldsss.

    Peace Georgia

    . Rewarded 4


  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I see why there are so many cups here. I imagine this took time and patience to create and it has turned out fabulously. I like the essence of it as well as the structure. I'm tempted to try it too

    That this reads as one poem or seperate three poems makes it easier to accept the spacing and structure.

    s and best wishes always... ~Genie~

    • IndividualEleven
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment, this style is very difficult and even more so with out gold membership, had to buy it for a month just to get the spacing and colors to come out just right.lol. anyways thanks again!!!

  • Riftkin gold member
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you have this set up

    if you do not win gold then something is wrong

    Riftkin

  • ventus11
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    interesting stlye. I see you have a lot of exceptations for this piece by the amount of contests you've entered. great write

  • SilverRain
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMG you did so well!!!! I love how you used the diffrent colors to do the diffrent character used in this poem, and you got what you expected by readign the title!! Great Write!!!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Panda-Bear09
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!!!!!! I've never read a poem like this before. It's so...so...so...COOL. Also very unique!!!!! 5 million kudos 2 U!!!!
  • Erica Weiss
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Ive never seen a poem like that before it is so cool. I think its amazing,...


  • colormepurple
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is definatly unique. i haven't ever seen anything like this before. i like the immense contrast between the hero and villain. well written.

    . Rewarded 4


  • jo-el
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you put this together well. i'm impressed with the duality. nicely done. one mistake: our battle spills over into to the streets. other than that grammatical error, its fairly flawless. a great tribute to modern mythology

    . Rewarded 4


  • tizzle218
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Unique style Time and points well spent.


  • lyricsfordummys1
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. I liked the format as well. I love the way you compared the hero and villian. Very well written

    ~Eclipse~
  • nothinghere silver member
    September 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a fabulous design here, I have never seen anything quite like it before but very much enjoyed both the style and the poem itself, wonderful

    Karen


  • Shadow Keeper
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, this is an awesome poem you have here! What a creative way to write this, I loved it! I love Spiderman as well, so this was just awesome! I really liked how you had the two poems flow together into one, I thought that was really cool! I have to say that I have never seen a poem written this way before, which makes it even better! I will admit to being a little confused at first as to how it should be read, but when I figured it out, like I said, it was awesome! Anyways, I really enjoyed being able to read this poem, and great job with it!

    . Rewarded 8


  • leander Moderators member
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well this is very interesting, and a form I haven't come across with for as far as I remember
    At first I was a bit confused but then I let my brains work a bit and figured out that I had to look at the colours (figure this, I thought it was a patriottic write and that you were 'painting' the flag of your country with the colors )

    anyway, I absolutely love this, there's a lot of effort in there must have takes some patience too I guess! well done!

    Leander

    . Rewarded 8


  • Bazza silver member
    August 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I take me bloody hat off to yer mate ... bloody incredible
    Congrats on the silver mug


  • The Hermit
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing how you did it I hope you won something. THe concepts appiles to everything in this world and you have captured both worlds in this poem. You deserve all the praise you get for this.

    . Rewarded 4


  • RuthKephart
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How creative...4 poems in one as this can be read as one poem in its entirety or picked apart and read seperately each colr at a time. This speaks highly of your time and effort put forth into this piece. Nicely done
    Ruth

    . Rewarded 4


  • VirginiaDarling
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOw this was one extremely great write. I loved it and the music went very well with the words and expressions in this. I see that you are on e great poet. Keep up the great work. By the way I love that song.

    . Rewarded 4

  • semicharmed
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is so cool

  • storiesuntold
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Yes indeed this was a perfect write you have here
  • Francis Vincent
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    terrific

    like, wow
    i love this verse
    this is definetely the most original i have ever read in my life
    and
    i'm no teenager, lol
    seriously,
    the hero and villian concept goes back to the greeks
    (as in "mission impossible 1, tom cruise,
    "every search for a hero requires a villian")
    so you touched upon a basic human emotion,
    good vs. evil
    as in
    adam, eve and the serpent
    but
    where you went more than par for the course
    is your imagery, format, obviously personal views, theme
    and the format was scrumptious, delightful and entertaining
    it keeps the reader's interest
    makes one think, similarity and contrast,
    enchanced by the double sided / central work and colors
    you have the makings of a great poet
    as a matter of fact
    like, double wow

    . Rewarded 8


  • kennethlaney
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent poem

    I've never seen this form before but I like It.
    Mixes very well or is good seperately!
    "BOO"

    . Rewarded 4

  • veiledprofanityhehe
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Goodness, that was sort of difficult to read, between the colors, alignment, and syntax. Though a clever idea on the whole it may have been so distracting I don't feel like I can critique your poem. Adieu.

  • Sidra Sabella
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ive never seen this style but i am blown away^^its amazing. you captured the colors and the personality of both men and they are united so smoothly. the lay out is great, this was really awesome to read.

    . Rewarded 4


  • borron555
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't seen this style of poem before it gives a flow and melds two different ideas or sides into one seemlessly.

    i like it. alot

    . Rewarded 4

  • Pollywantacracker
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Wonderful marvellous inspired writing
  • Still Gonna Shine
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hey wow. this is great! really interesting way of writing a poem


  • Dmj
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesomeness

    It may not be a word but it is worth makin it real. I luv the final line of how u say wat they were born to be. U were born to be an artist. Just an exceptional use of two great comic book characters

    . Rewarded 4


  • Knight70 silver member
    August 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    An AWESOME piece!!!!!

    I buy Spider-Man comics every month, including a few others like Captain America and Batman. I've been a huge comic fan since I was 7. My nine year old son worships Spider-Man to the point that he used to call himself "Peter Parker" when he was in pre-school. My son and I have a lot of fun playing the Spiderman games on the ps2. I'm getting him the Spiderman 3 game for his birthday.

    . Rewarded 8


  • Death of the Author
    August 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The quality of entries in this contest is absolutely outstanding and this is no exception. I absolutely love the way you have set this out, it is so original and adds weight to an already great poem. Man, I really do not know what to say, I don't know what I'm going to do when it comes to giving trophies out because there are so many that deserve Gold. You thoroughly deserve the trohpies this has already won. Well done, excellent, bravo, etc! Good luck (you don't need it!) and take care x

    . Rewarded 8


  • N.W. Clerk
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on silver!! I look forward to seeing what you bring into the next round!

  • Matt Holck
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    love the format here



    destiny has bitten me - science is my formula

    I remember when spiderman invented his own web shooters
    in the early 70's scientist could be heroes
    I'll have to settle this paradigm shift with Vonnegut later

  • N.W. Clerk
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is indeed a sensational piece of work! I am not into comic books, but this I enjoyed! You did an excellent job with this style, and props to Darc for inventing it!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Aesthete
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That you've managed to interest me with this is really extraordinary. Generally I would be completely turned off from a comic book poem, and the style was difficult, though possibly amusing. Im not sure exactly how I feel, but I do feel something. So good job and thanks much for entering.

    • IndividualEleven
      July 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment, the style was created to show the simularities between two opposing sides, by doing this, the center lines are "connector" lines between the one view and the other, thanks again.

  • endymion
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It was a bit hard to read in the format, but that doesn't really matter because it was useful, creative, and well-written. Honestly, amazing work. Good luck in my contest!

  • lucy sky-diamond
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow! such a greta poem, i love the way you have layed it out, and the use of colour. impressive work, and such wonderful description. congrats on your trophies, and best of luck in the other contests
    lucy


  • Mezclita
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aight... so I came back as promised! Hot stuff indeed awed by many lines... especially like the one "I will feel no fear" for I stand for justice/ for fear is what I create... & the form just rocks!


  • imperfectperfection silver member
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Unique

    This is very interestingly unique form of poetry that I've come to read for the very first time. Creativity is very obvious that shows your unique form of writing that sure knows how to capture the reader only to beg for more... Very well done with 2 poems in one... I can't say it's confusing for it's a your style of writing but the explanation for the ones who are new to this form helps to appreciate your poetry... I can see the winning streak in these poems for sure... Thanks for sharing with us... Take care Minoo


  • PoetrysAngel2041
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was an interesting and unique piece. I felt the structure of it made it a bit confusing, but I enjoyed the uniqueness of it. Very well done!

  • Mezclita
    July 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very cool... i will be back to more carefully read this one as well as others but right now your music and colorfulness of everything is freaking me out a bit and it's 3:30 am. here so first I better be off to bed... lol love your stuff already though!

  • Deindichter
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Holy cow, this is really freakin wild. I'm rather impressed, secretly confused as to which colour one should read first. Very cool indeed! An E.E cummings fan, quite unique. To aid in this pieces success the fact that its actually well written, very nice. I love the duality, the lighter colour, its solemn goodness, while the red peers into the ills of the same conception as teal. Upon reading your notes I see it wasn't cummings inspired. Nonetheless though, very well written
  • LimelightLiason
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    holy crap

    this is like nothing i have ever seen before. major bonus points for the creativity factor. bravo. 2 poems as one, who thought you could make that work. you cedrtainly pulled it off. thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest

  • undertones
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was just absolutely fantastic! i've never read this style before and just found this incredible.


  • freestallion
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a very cool poem and very unique! I love spiderman, and I think you've seamlessly intertwined two stories. Very interesting write!


  • PatheticKt
    June 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is the most creative poem i have ever read and spiderman&goblin totally rules!!!


  • Frodofan silver member
    June 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting and creative! The good thing about your formatting was I understood how to read it before reading your instructions, so good job!


    I'm sure my little brother would enjoy it.

  • Sonofdead
    June 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Still say that this is an amazing poem.

  • kristianman
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have never read a poem like this. I like the colors and the way the poem read, real nice imagery. Good job and good luck in this contest. K

    . Rewarded 4


  • grannyeri gold member
    June 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Commented on this before it was in this reading list. Very impressive page presentation.

  • tinuelena
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am going to put aside my own prejudices and judge this fairly. (Spiderman series = awesome.)

    Anyway, this was very creative. There are lots of good images and I liked how you color-coded things so that we could follow the form.

    Perhaps you should do a series. I'd like to see the New Goblin, too.

    Elizabeth

  • Writeous
    June 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    THIS WAS VERY CREATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • FeedYourHeadMeg
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is VERY interesting. I was confused at first, until I read your author's notes.

    I love the 3 poems in one kindof format, too.

    "like tempest beating shaded stores" is my favorite line. I also really like the phrases "pumpkin bombs" and "razor bat"

    Nice juxtaposition as well.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Lie 2 Me Once Again
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    GREAT write I love the form!

  • storiesuntold
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great piece here

    Loved the way its done


  • superkurd13
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow..

    thats incredibly creative.. it's a little rough, but if you continue writing in this style and pour allot of energy in to it, I bet you could create something even more amazing.. this was very enjoyable to read!

    . Rewarded 4

  • oldpoets
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A litt6le confusing at first. Then I begain to understand what was happening. Viva the defference in the writing style. Great work

    . Rewarded 4


  • honorable mention
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow!! very well written. i love this one. love the spider man referance lol


  • KateMadness
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I enjoy this poem! It made me wonder about things! It's amazing and I hope you keep writing like this! It made my day to read this poem! I love it a lot!

    ~KORI~

    . Rewarded 4


  • Sonofdead
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That was an AWESOME poem. Holy shit!! Thank you so much for the chance to read this one!! Wow! That was spectacular! Good write!

  • Amber 52
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written, clever style, and used really appropriately for this topic the conflict emphasised byt the style. This is very original. I really like it

    . Rewarded 4


  • bedovich
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome poem tangled and greatly written wow wonderful job


  • YourGuardian
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    haha, i didn't get it the first time, i read it blue, orange, then red all in one, and then i got to your authors notes and read them, and was like ahhhh, ok, i get it now!!! i personally liked it, i like spiderman, he's pretty sweet, i haven't gotten a chance to go see spiderman 3 yet tho...GAY! but hey, just keep wreiting, and maybe i'll read some more of your poems!!!!

    . Rewarded 8


  • Zephyr Aryn
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is one unique poem; never read anything like this before. I like how you separated the thoughts with color.

  • Sgt B
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I remember this one now!

    I really like the style in which you wrote this in. The story line was cool once you figure out the style. I though as first it was a he said he said type but actually it compairs one to the other. Great job Jacen!

    ~Ron~

  • blondone
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great form I haven't seen this one before a grandstand show of writing skills congrads on the trophys...

    . Rewarded 4


  • Amaranthine Lover gold member
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awesome piece
    I can see why everyone likes it so much
    keep on writing!
  • mmook
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    alright ... awesome


  • Talking Toni gold member
    June 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yea Spiderman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I think I may have read this before but it is just amazing!!!! I love the battle between good and evil with the good overcoming everytime!!! I also like the style and the format in how you wrote this piece!!!It had to be very time consuming for you. I don't think I could do it myself!!!lol.....at any rate great story and vivd imsgery and the picture was just perfect for the piece!!!Thanks for sharing Jacen!!!~~Toni~~

    . Rewarded 8

  • Pianokidd
    June 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I LOVED IT!


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    a very nice design

    wonderful design and the colors are very bright and interesting, and the story of Spiderman and the villain is told very well ...PK

    . Rewarded 8

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