Ride with me into the sunset of memory,
to a time when everything was you and me.
The colors of the sky reveal shades of
romance,
sadness,
pain,
passion.
You were beautiful, I didn't know that yet.
Frankly, I didn't care.
It was all about the emotions we felt,
you were more than a trophy to be had,
you were my love and life. You still are.
At times we became angry,
but we always believed in our love. Everything was always perfect in the end.
For me, nothing has changed.
You are still the perfect love that I had then.
For you, something is different.
But as scared as you are, I'll always be there.
If I died this moment, I would still be with you forever.
I would refuse paradise to be your angel - I'll watch over you eternal.
You are my everything.
My beautiful one.
Author notes
Love poem. Hurray. =)
A contest entry
- I Want More Love Poems by love my jose luis.
300 points, ended April 6, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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That was a cute poem. I think that the color choice of the letters and background don't mix that well, I think with the way you are trying to use visual in your writing, it would help to maybe make your text a little lighter and it would really get the reader in the mood a lot better. That's the only real advice I have for you. I think that you have a lot of emotion in this poem though, and I like that.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
~Alix -
Gorgeous.....lucky lady!
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Hoorah.
"For you, something is different.
But as scared as you are.."
Can't they tell? This line explains the whole structure right? Analysis is guesswork, but I'm guessing the "Brokeness of the peaceful beauty" As Blue called it; is symbol in the form of structure? Our "peaceful beauty" IS broken by the change and that's why the broken structure doesn't detract even the littlest, but instead gives it even more emotion. I love it. I love it.
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~smiles~ I'm glad "someone" gets it.
Even if it is oooonnlllyyy my muse and love herself. =) -
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=) Hey, Someone needs to tell everyone what's up or else your poem wouldn't get the credit it deserves. I mean, everyone would be blind by the other comments unless it was pointed out. I just won you this contest. Just kidding, but at least everyone can see it a new way, right? Besides, I pride myself on stuff like noticing how structure enhances things.
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I liked this. It had a very gentle toucch to it..
I have to agree with the other comment regarding the breaks..It did take away from the flow.
Soulful Woman
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this was so soft, loving and gentle. some amazing lines. the form was a little annoying as it broke the peaceful beauty of the poem, but great write nonetheless.
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