Looking down at your sleeping form.
Softly holding Temptation In my arms.
Hands slipping quietly over gossamer skin
Trembling so slightly, patience within.
Eyes closed so sweetly, heart's wish abound.
Fingertips dancing at wonders I've found.
Caressing the satin, the smoothness of you
Eyes feasting quietly, Nothing so new
Your breath catches softly, a whispering breeze
Tensing Your body, I suddenly freeze.
Hands stilled so quiet, Fingers extended
A wonder and amazement at nothing intended.
Knowing still, at any moment you could wake
Wishing I dared, take this chance and tempt fate.
Fear wells within me, I pull back to my own
Hearing your sighs, I wish I had known
All the years wasted, the chances unmet
Knowing this night, I'll never forget.
Author notes
Words seem a pale comparison
After holding You in my hands.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Emotional and sweet.
Nice poem -
Whewwww...I'm breathless!!!
I love the thought you portrayed in this poem. It made me feel the emotion you might have had when writing it. My jaw is to the floor, I am in total awe.
Well done!
GRACE -
This flows just as smoothly as the subject does. It's a very emotional poem, and it touches on some very well-shared emotions. This is a really beautiful piece, and I use beautiful for a reason. It is simply amazing in all its elegance.
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wow! talk about desire. great depiction. it builds with excitment until that moment of fear. the flow of the poem holds this tension very well. i felt that sinking, almost like disappointment (in ones-self), crashing-jolt feeling. excellent. then the imminate appearence of regret. well represented here. very nice write!!
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Love it! Bittersweet love unsure of return from another. Expressed SO smoothly and with smooth lyric and rhyme. Definitely touches deep waters. Great write.
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Sweetness
Me like. It makes you hold your breath or it catch in your throat. I like the suspense. It reminds me of unrequited love between my favorite character and his lover.
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AWESOME!
Great job, girl! That was amazing! I love it!
gossamer--I dunno what that means but it sounds poetic-y-ish. >>
All the years wasted, the chances unmet
Knowing this night, I'll never forget.
I LOVE THAT ENDING! XDD
Great job! Please continue your fabulous work. xD
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awww this was a beautiful poem! i really liked how amazing this poem sounded. it was so romantic yet morunful at the same time. simply incrediable. Great write
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"All the years wasted, the chances unmet
Knowing this night, I'll never forget." the end really brought back memories for me. the whole thing flowed so effortlessly and I could feel the tension, emotion as well.
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wow i loved all of this
Caressing the satin, the smoothness of you
Eyes feasting quietly, Nothing so new
Your breath catches softly, a whispering breeze
Tensing Your body, I suddenly freeze.
Hands stilled so quiet, Fingers extended
A wonder and amazement at nothing intended.
Knowing still, at any moment you could wake
Wishing I dared, take this chance and tempt fate.
just bloody amazing -
So, I am all about this piece. You make a refreshing use of rhyme to convey your feelings in a way that leaves the reader wanting more. Different people define great poetry in different ways, each in keeping with their own personal tastes. To me, poetry is a great idea combined with form and flow that equals a sublime message. I very much enjoyed this piece.
Best wishes on your future works.
~Das
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Wow.. So often do we forget to take in those little moments of truly appreciating the little things and the big things.. I love the way you gazed upon this being realizing that for so long they have been there beside you and just now, You SEE them with your heart (ok maybe not just now) But you created a moment within your own mind out of something so simple. A memory that will last till the death.
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This is the best I've read in days. I love the opening lines and how youused the word temptation both to deescribe what you felt and as a name. I was holding my breath with you in places, your words captivate and weave entire worlds to become lost in. *applause*
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this is lovely. 'All the years wasted, the chances unmet..I just love that line and I think it is one that many, myself included can relate to.
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Wow, I think I can actually relate to this one!
I, too, have let my own silly fears get in the way of taking the risk of rejection and delving into the unknown. Now, there’s one out there who I’ve completely idealized and he will go down in history as “the one who got away”.
Anyway, I really like the title of your poem and the way this piece flows. When you write a rhyming poem – especially one that rhymes every line – it often turns out to sound choppy or forced, but that is not the case with this poem.
Good writing!
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Ooh, I liked this one. Temptation and memories... flows very well. Good Job
The Only Dependable thing about the future is Uncertainty.
-Chaos -
What a lovely write it was very well done I really enjoyed it very much It was truely lovely the flow of it and the rythm made it even more so of a delight. I really did like this and my favorite is the last stanza it said so very much :
All the years wasted, the chances unmet
Knowing this night, I'll never forget.
Ah all those years gone all the chances that never will be it is the most special of all. -
the power of memories. the is was a great poem. the reader could almost feel what you must have felt that night long ago. I love poetry that transports us to another time and place. yours did just that. thanks for sharing. keep up the incredible work! peace and light, kp
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Every word has it's place, this is very well written and leaves me with a chill when I read through it.
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this must have been an rememberable night of course...i love this peom really made the words come to life..your word choose is amazing..you know the right words to use..and they convey the right image...love it..lovely
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I LOVED IT
i give it a passing score
cause i love it
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What i think is that the gentle tenderness of love’s infatuation knows no boundary,
no limit to age, gender or race – you have, here, a very nearly perfect poem to express your heart, the heart of any lover. The need to take risks is so very important in live, in love – especially. The heart that does not risk, is a heart locked in stasis, alone and unsure…when we risk, we may appear foolish, maybe even be rejected, but the soul can breathe free afterwards, knowing its course from that point on. What opportunities given us to love and be loved, are precious and should never be squandered – not ever. Your poem expresses that so very well. Blessings and best wishes, ~r.
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I am filled with the quiet ache of yearning, the unspoken despair of knowing you can't have it. Perhaps the worst feeling of all is knowing it's right there. By not taking a chance, one does the worst disservice, because there is no closure. It's something that eats people up.
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