The sun shines the heart pines
For the love that was once mine
The petals on the rose so sweet and tender
Now fall like tears in December
The pain that broke us apart
Now takes over my lonely heart
The love that was once can never be again
You have gone forever
Your beauty has withered with age
Your heart has stopped beating
Your life has been taken from my page
I am a book without a cover
A night with out a star i long to hold you
My darling wherever you are
The music plays the memories flow
The tears fall the pain wont go
Now loneliness is all that i know
You come to me in dreams just like the past
But dreams come and go too fast
And i know only memories last
In a list
A contest entry
- Some One You Want But Can't Have by shysky.
450 points, ended March 28, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Just Died! by MissAnonymous.
600 points, ended April 9, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories ( a contest ) by ramblin.
700 points, ended April 4, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best #2 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
415 points, ended April 18, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bouquet of Thorns by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended May 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrite EVER! by love tank x.
650 points, ended May 1, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best by Sapphire Rose.
600 points, ended May 21, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Farewell Contest by Kikai Ni.
790 points, ended May 23, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poem(s) You Have Ever Wrote by NickelleteXninja.
550 points, ended June 15, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Got something sad inside you? New or old. by Naridill.
450 points, ended June 13, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your ABSOLUTE Best by TwistedTatum.
364 points, ended June 25, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loneliness by LeonXwabbist.
430 points, ended July 14, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Think by Carve In Technetium.
470 points, ended September 21, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything that has a metaphor in it. by DeadlyPoetic88.
300 points, ended September 28, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loneliness by Cyclical.
1000 points, ended February 9, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
I love the last stanza. Its a beautiful way to end a poem. Keep up the good job. I loved it. thank you for entering my contest.
-
This is a great poem. Thank you for entering it in my contest.
I really liked the last stanza. -
I really like this poem. The flow and rythem work really well together, which is a problem a lot of poets have (me too). Good Job!
-
Aww
this is such a sweet poem. You captivate the lost love within me...
I think I was tearing up a little
thanks so much for entering
I really like this line
You come to me in dreams just like the past
sometimes you long for the dreams to be the truth
-
Beautiful write. This makes me think of losing a loved one. The part of December I felt I could relate to. My dog passed on in December 2002. It made for a very sad Christmas that year. This poem had a good flow to it and lots of emotion. Keep up the great work.
-
I liked the timing
in that it didn't break up the rhythm. This is worth the read, thank you. -
in dreams you`ll always be mine
i will love you till the end of time
in dreams thanks for your comment
-
Not bad, I must say. However, there are a few things I found that could be fixed.
Forever is one word, not two. Without is also one word. "My darling were ever you are" just doesn't sound quite right to me. Did you mean 'wherever' instead of were ever? Memory's should be memories. "go to fast", it should be "too" since it's something that's more than the usual. Otherwise it was a good read. Nicely done.
Sweetest of dreams! ~D -
-
thanks
Thanks for your help as you can see i am not to good at this
I have fixed the parts you pointed out i hope this helps and thanks again
-
-
this was really good. I liked it a whole lot. awesome job!!!! =)
-
It feels like forever until love is found again. Very beautiful wording.
-
this heart felt write, such beautiful words, and because im such a sucker for the love poems im Im maaking this a fianlist.
-
A heartfelt write. Poignant. You describe this loss of love so vividly in this piece. Good flow and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. I can relate to this. A well crafted piece.
-
This a very lovely poem, it says so much about love, its strength to live on even after death. You've written a beautiful tribute to this special person
Good luck in the contest and thank you for entering
ramblin
-
great
I can relate to this, Don't worry, loneliness doesn't last forever.
-
Sad but beautifully written
I too have lost loved ones, it is not easy for sure... we do miss them. Thank you for sharing... -
Great symbolism. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the contest.
-
Very sweet and reminded me of someone i'd lost more than someone I couldn't attain. Thank you for sharing this with me and for entering my contest!
~A Heart's Hope Lies Within Belladonna~
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
