I ride to iraq on a smooth road
I ride to Iraq ,the land of civilisation
where bricks and sands sing
ballads with tears and sigh.
No hedges and ditches beside,
but flowerless Bushes seen.
Staues of Budha, Gandhi and Martin Luther king
stands there{why should I bother?}
I have no time to waste
(other wise Democracy would be late)
History is nothing to me
(new his story I 'll write)
whose book is this,it lies on the road
Oh! It tells a story.
( a boy borrowed a book
it was wet in his leaking room
to pay the value he worked hard.)
(Later,
studying in street light he became the president)
Then
who defined Democracy?
BUT
Dont ask me who made children home less, victims of war
and made them study in street lamps.
Is it to make them presidents?
But I have PROMISES to keep
I have new definitions to
DEMO-CRAZY.
Author notes
Heroes are born not made... " poo"
A contest entry
- The Road Not Taken by Angelrain.
300 points, ended April 8, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Metaphores by q-pid.
850 points, ended November 9, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - American Idiot: A Dark Comedy Contest by Becks.
700 points, ended January 14, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Dont ask me who made children home less, victims of war
and made them study in street lamps.
Is it to make them presidents?
Very sad but interesting piece...
Good luck in the contest -
Wierdly written, but good.
We certainly have a bit of a predicament there...
This is such a sad poem, especially the second last stanza.
Great job and keep on writing!
Amber
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: )
This is an awesome piece that touches a controversial topic. I love the last stanza. It's so powerful.
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you raise a certain awareness of a very difficult situation. good for you for that! I really appreciate the voice you have given to all of this. peace and light always in all ways. kendal
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excellent
Interesting concept in this write. Sadly war is not prejudice to whom it makes its victims but I get a feeling of hope for Iraq from this write, the people have voted for democracy and are willing to fight for what they believe in and I believe this can be a dream, become reality for Iraqi children. I like the layout of this piece and the thoughts conveyed.
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Well Vercified
I'm not usually a fan of freeverse, but this was ok. Kinda like making a revelation on some of the oddities in Iraq, or some of the mistakes. I rather hope this does well in the contest you entered, by the bye. Good luck.
Trinity Dragon (TD) -
And we all owe this to political democracy! gotta love them beauracrats. (sp) What images you have portrayed in this write! One may agree, and one may not agree, but for me, i am not at liberty to say, for i judge not. This was a great read, I totally enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. Keep that pen flowing.
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The road
Agree or disagree I can say it is a well thought out and a nicely written poem. I like the imagrey and the poem flowed well. I think you have a few typos but all in all a good write.I may not agree with the message but I like what you wrote. -
wow. amazing. loved these lines.
whose book is this,it lies on the road
Oh! It tells a story.
( a boy borrowed a book
it was wet in his leaking room
to pay the value he worked hard.)
(Later,
studying in street light he became the president)
great job! -
I like this poem just the way that it is. I have a feeling that I have discovered something that has the feeling of authenticity and truth. The images are like light bulbs. So many powerful questions, and all present me with a fresh and conflicting picture. The boy that might become President (An American dream transported to Iraq, but not as strange as it seems.) I rate this highly because it plunges right out there and changes my day.
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I liked this write a lot but you had quite a few grammatical errors that made it difficult to read in spots. I like the way you wrote it so it feels like youre talking to the reader. good luck in the contest!
angi
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