1.I was coming out of the Returned Services League(R.S.L.)hall where I went every Tuesday for my 'Weight Watchers' weigh in. It was dark and I couldn't see around me too well and was hurrying to my car to go home.
2. I heard a voice call "Mum?". I didn't take too much notice, even though something in that voice nagged at the back of my mind.All that was between us was the road,as I had parked my car in a centre of the road parking space.
3.I was wearing what I always did for the weigh in, just some light summer clothing and trainers. Even now I cannot recall what she was wearing, just a bag over her shoulder. It was dark, as I said, and even later I still can't remember those details.
4.I saw nothing, but of course she had seen me, had been waiting for me. I heard that voice again, "Mum?". I knew that voice! I turned around and then I saw her. Our eyes met, even in the dark!
5. I said, "Is that you? Is that really you?". At that moment we both heard each others voices. I don't remember hearing anything else, I was so focussed on what was happening to me and between us.
6. That piece of road between us put wings on my feet as I flew across that road to her.
7.It was dark but I recognised her outline, slim, long curling hair, sitting on a low fence, legs crossed. Clothes? I still don't recall. Those details were of no consequence to me!
8. We both cautiously fell into each others arms, crying.It had been so long since I had seen her, years of heartache and loneliness just rolled down my cheeks.
9. She said , "I didn't think you would want to see or even talk to me". She took her bag from her shoulder and together we put our arms around each other.
10.I took her to my car where we sat and talked. I had not seen the rest of my family for a number of years also, so I asked how they were.
She said, "Didn't you know she was dead? Didn't anyone tell you?"
A contest entry
- Creative-Writing Workshop (IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS) by Girl With Guitar.
1350 points, ended April 2, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice ending, a daughter is dead?
The flow is great, and the majority of instructions were followed clearly. I realize it's a hard contest in that sense though
Thank you for this entry
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Very intense and emotional write. A story of a happy reunion, but then an ending with a sad loss. I think you have done an excellent job with this and I hope you do well in this contest
xxx





