So, this is what it comes down to: myself and my mind. 'I' want to lay down in these snowy woods and fall asleep forever. Hell, my mind does too, but I guess it's still strong enough to keep me trudging through the snow and dodging the pine trees.
I've been walking through the woods behind my house for two hours now, trying to find my way back to my house. I should have known not to go into the woods at dusk. Especially with snow on the ground. It's difficult enough to dodge the briars during the day without any snow; add in a two-foot snowdrift here and there, and the cover of darkness and it's damn near impossible. It seems that I've been caught in every briar bush in these woods twice over. My frustration finally gets the better of me and I sit down and let the tears seep out of my eyes.
I gaze into the darkness and pray for a miracle. I hear a low, steady hum. At first I think it's in my head, but then I realize that it's to my left, and it's growing louder into a growl. I stand up quickly, desperate to run, but before I even turn a creature tackles me to the ground. I scream out as I feel the monster's wet tongue and hot breath on my neck. I feel it's fangs brush my chin as it moves up to lick my face. As I lay waiting for my certain death, I realize that the monster isn't trying to rip me to pieces. It's just licking my face, over and over again. The clouds covering the moon roll back and I catch a glimpse of a black an white dog.
"Kayle," I ask timidly.
My border-collie leaps off me and wags her tail at me.
"Oh, Kayle, I'm so glad to see you," I say as I hug her around the neck. "Come on girl. Let's go home.
Kayle obeys and we start weaving our way through the haunted trees. I get snagged by a few more briars, but then I focus on the distance. A dim light is getting brighter with every step I take towards it. I burst into a run and Kayle is quick to follow. I start to hear a voice calling out my name. In a few seconds I am back in my mother's warm embrace, happy to be alive.
Author notes
This is a story I wrote because I was trying to work on my short stories.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I agree, i'd like to see this a lil longer, it's still pretty short for a short story
But in saying that, you have all ready added alot in such a small amount of writing. The little story is solid enough as it is, if you were to change anything, maybe add a little background and more descriptions of the surroundings to project a better image into the readers mind?
It's still fucking excellent tho
I was almost not going to read it, not a big fan of stories, but you drew me in immediately, i wish I could give you more than 3 applauses
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I think it's very difficult to write stories this short and still have all of the elements of a story. This has that, kudos to you for being able to do that!
Not for the purpose of this contest, but for the story itself, I'd like to see this expanded. Being lost is one of the scariest feelings a person can have. Especially when being so close to home. Where I grew up, the fog was so dense you could touch your hand to your nose and not see it. I got lost in the fog more times than I can count, sometimes in my front yard.
I'd like to feel the fear of being lost. The disorienting feeling, see the sweat of panic starting to set in, the character shaking as he/she realizes they might die right behind their house.
I think adding those elements into this would help strengthen the story. (I do like the happy ending, though).
Thank you for entering this. It was a pleasure to read.
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