He was another of your lifes [disasters],
Another [fake] on your list of heartbreaks.
You felt there was no other choice,
Had to confine in her to stop this ache.
His voice in your head is as [painful],
As the [blade]'s marks across your skin.
You just laugh it all off and continue,
You slowly became life's sweetest sin.
Looked in the mirror later,
And saw your bloodied [reflection] staring back.
Your eyes were [dull] and lifeless,
[Eyeliner] smudged [black].
Your heart laid on the floor [shatter]ed,
Count the [peices]; One, Two, Three, Four.
He couldn't just leave you like that.
Had to kill you a little more.
And when he was finally out of your life,
You felt the pain of loneliness overwhelm you.
He had you held down with [chains],
Without him you don't know what to do.
Looking at the girl in the mirror,
Screamed, "This isn't my fucking reflection"
Confined in her blade's loving embrace,
She was now sweet suicide's perfection.
Author notes
1-wordbank(please tell me the words you used)
Disasters, Fake, Painful, Blade, Reflection, Dull, Eyeliner, Black, Shatter, Peices, Chains
4-pick a freewrite topic.(tell me which topic)
-cutting
-pain
-suicide
-loneliness
"Eyeliner smudged black."
My friends will understand this line but for people who don't know me it means crying basically. I just like making it sound a little different.
A contest entry
- ♥ Broken Hearts ♥ (A Contest For My Birthday) by Bruised.Roses.
450 points, ended April 16, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Great Write!
This was a great write and i can totally relate to what you are saying and feeling..your words were very touching and emotional..you also created a magnificent poem with the worbank and the other optiona that you picked and you are very talented..keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
Fuck, this is awesome! Its bloody brilliant and so well described, I can see it all so vividly in my head! I love this stanza! :
Looking at the girl in the mirror,
Screamed, "This isn't my fucking reflection"
Confined in her blade's loving embrace,
She was now sweet suicide's perfection.
Awesome!!
Tommy xo
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wow this is amazing, it was so powerful and i could really feel your emotion through it. well written good luck in the contest and keep writing! x x x
-
wow this was great and I got the eyeliner smuged black part......this was really well written and had so much pain and emotion in it. You have an amazing talent and I thank you for entering
XTashaX
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