I'm lying here alone tonight,
with the music in my ear.
The blade is running up and down,
I will not shed a tear.
It seems that nothing matters,
nothing could or ever will.
Your memory still haunts me,
this pain I need to kill.
Why did you stay with me,
when you didn't even care?
Was I that insignificant?
Did you think I could repair?
Or was it that you loved me?
No, that doesn't make much sense.
Because right after you left me
you blocked me by your fence.
Your fence is not of wood,
metal or of steel.
Your fence is made of pride
and greed and inability to feel.
If only I could say this,
directly to you face.
That I no longer miss you,
or your cold embrace.
Author notes
This is a poem that is dedicated directly to him.
A contest entry
- ♥Sadness♥ by This Doesnt Hurt.
340 points, ended April 22, 2007, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - \rain on me/ [[ .make.tears .fall.from.my.eyes ]] by autumns rising.
1000 points, ended May 18, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very sad
I can feel your depression very well and have we not all been there? Try saying this in free verse, some of the lines sound a bit forced, rhyming comes easy but does not always say what you want to say.
Congrats
-
"Your fence is not of wood,
metal or of steel.
Your fence is made of pride
and greed and inability to feel."
oh dear, oh dear, oh my!!!!!! when i read the sentence before this stanza I thought it weak, but this made it all the more better that reallu is quite miraculous.
good luck
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OH MY.i really love this. and its a great rhyming poem. very sad and deep. sorry that u have to go thru this. GREAT JOB. and congrats on gold my friend =]
LOVE YOU DARLING
M.e.g.a.n
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Thanks for entering...
"Why did you stay with me,
when you didn't even care?
Was I that insignificant?"
Those 3 lines described how I felt befor...this is an amazing poem, so full of emotion...heartbreak and sadness...this is amazing and I absolutly love it...goodluck....
♥Ashlee -
this was a really good poem but very heartfelt as well..i can really relate to this poem and the feelings that you wrote about you are talented keep writting and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
you told me to comment so here i am. nice poem. sad, but good. happy... friday
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