lately I've been feeling
like a bug has been eating
at my insides, tearing
everything away, leaving
only emptiness and
hunger pains. not only
do I feel it in my
stomach, but it is
affecting my emotions
and my heart; breaking
my heart and making
my eyes tear, then cry.
emptiness and sorrow,
happiness and chance;
unfortunately I've gotten
the first one, the worst
one, and now my body's
numb.
A contest entry
- Anything by HerbalGoat.
456 points, ended May 24, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Very strong. I like that you started with a simile in your first two lines, and I also like that this entire poem is a metaphor for guilt. I will be honest in saying that it could have been written better, more deep and mysterious (not so obvious), but considering what guilt is able to do to someone, the effect of it really adds to it.
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