As we walk into that tent,
From different directions,
Out of our dressing rooms,
Shoulders back and chin up with pride,
We head straight for the ladder in the middle of the room.
I sneak a glance at you before I start climbing,
And I'm not so sure about anything.
But as I make my way up,
I'm positive that I'm ready to walk
That tight rope 30 feet in the air.
Of course, I stop at the top, hesitant to go on.
I feel the connection between us glowing,
Burning with love and passion.
You make your way forward,
Balancing with great difficulty.
Half the crowd cheers us on,
But the other half says to jump.
I was confused, so I stopped,
But you were still walking,
Despite that it was a difficult task.
If I'm here, and you're there,
How can we go on?
If I love you still,
And you don't tell me your feelings,
There is no way for me to know.
I can ask, but that risks our relationship,
Already on the tight rope,
On the unicycle with no umbrella for balance.
But soon, one of us will fall down onto the hard concrete,
With only the crowd for comfort.
Author notes
yes, this is based on a personal event.
A contest entry
- Alone.....Prewrites allowed by LoveNeverDies.
370 points, ended May 17, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think I'm trying to say?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow.
long distance relationships suck,I know.My fiance is in the Marine Corps and stationed in Japan right now.This is a great way to express the feeling of being alone.and I love the metaphor that you use
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i think that other options for comfort is an easy way to lose your way, to walk the tight rope of right and wrong, what comforts are allowed from others. long distance realationsips are hard, i know. i lived with my love several month before he left for americore, sinse january i've seen him two times, about 2 days each time. i'm often asked of it's worth it, and i always respond yes, yes it is, i have a theory, so many people expect love to be easy or simple, but it's not, you have to work at it, continuously, and it's hard and some days you want to give up, but you keep working at it and working at it, you don't give up. i don't know what you're tryuing to say, because no one every really does, but the opions of othersd, what they see, some times they see things we are trying to say that we aren;t aware of. if that makes any sense. and i know i've babbled on and possibly made no sense and if this note annoyed you i'm sorry, i guess i'm just trying to say something, something i believe is true.
~Bella -
i like the way you described you relationship and the crowd. verry nice.
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this is good. Long distance relationships are hard, it's true. Sometimes it's confusing. THis is a good write.
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Wow your poem is really like Role playing. But that is kool because those are thye poems that I love to read the most and I really really liked yours. If you dont mind i wouls like to read more poems from you. I think you woulr be a good writer at dark, deep and emotional poetry.. i loook forward to reading more.. ~Jesse~
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thanks a lot. and yeah, i never thought much of myself as the cheery poet.
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sometimes people just dont understand. but i do. ive been in your situation a year now. and its hard and confusing.
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this is really powerful emotional response, if it was shorter and the metaphor ran throughout it would be amaazing,
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hey this was a really great write..your woirds were powerful, emotional and strong..i can really relate to this poem and what you wrote about keep writting your talented
xXTashaXx -
Hey..this was a great write and i can really relate to what you are saying in this write...this was a written from a personal point of view..your words were powerful and emotional kep writting and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
great write it was moving a little more imagery and diction it would be really really great
thank you soooo much for entering...
issy -
A colorless shadow in the daylight
Here in spirit,
There in body
This stanza is terrific in image, rhythmn and sound.
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oo you think? when i wrote that i thought it was a little shaky..
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I think it would have been great if you could have spread the circus metaphor throughout the entire write, but that's just my opinion...
I know long distance relationships all too well, I'm even in one right now... but you know what... this one is actually working out. But that aside... distance can work both ways... it can make the heart fonder or deteriorate the bond. I don't think any relationship can exist in distance forever, but there is a quote that I like that says:
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."
And personally, I think that words left unsaid will hurt a relationship way more than help. Really ask yourself... in staying silent, are you simply delaying the inevitable?
The only dependable thing about the future is Uncertainty.
-Chaos -
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thank you!!
thanks for the critisism, and no, i really mean it! i think it's stupid for people to say "it's great and deep" or whatever when they really feel something else. i'll make sure to drop by sometime and return the favor!
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"Already on the tight rope, On the unicycle with no umbrella for balance." My favorite line! I like the metaphor in it! Long distance relationships must be hard and you show that feeling in here really well! Awesome write! <3--alex
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lexi!!!
i wuv your comments. they're superduperuber ghetto fab.
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