It has been ten years in passing since the daughter visited her mother. They are eating a breakfast of pecan waffles and strawberries in the little breakfast nook of the old Victorian house that the daughter grew up in. A faded and tattered black notebook is lying on the table between them. The mother notices her daughter looking at it and wondering what it is. She nervously tries to distract her,
"Do you remember when you were just eight years old and loved to draw pictures on the frosted windows during the winter every morning at this very table?"
"Yes, mother, I do, because that was the year that you first told me all about sex...like it was some horrible duty on a wife's part, that the husband demands of her." The daughter twists the gold wedding ring on her finger with her right hand, as though in anger and disgust. The mother starts fumbling anxiously with the black notebook, as if searching for something to say.
"What is that book that you keep groveling toward, mother?", the daughter's voice carries an undertone of disdain. Suddenly, they both hear footsteps approaching up the walk-way toward the front door outside of the house.
"It's...it's... something that I want to share with you, dear...a journal...actually, my journal," the mother says with urgency. The footsteps get louder and the front door opens...
"Is that father coming back from his morning walk"? the daughter asks her mother.
"Yes, darling...take this book...before he sees me giving it to you," and she hastily hands it to her daughter. The father suddenly appears in the breakfast nook. He is a tall, overbearing-looking man in his late fifties, with suspicious, beady, wild-looking eyes and white unkempt hair. The daughter has the black notebook hidden under her robe next to her on the chair.
"I'll take my breakfast in the study!", the father orders the mother in a booming, demanding fashion, and he walks out.
The daughter despondently looks down at her gold wedding ring on her left hand folded over her right hand in her lap. She takes the ring off of her finger and fidgets with it for a few seconds, then holding it in the open palm of her right hand, she stares at it momentarily before she hesitantly places it back on her ring finger. The daughter solemnly picks up the black book and slowly, carefully, opens it to the first page which says..."Breaking the Silence and the Cycle of Abuse...From Mother to Daughter."
"I want you to read it, "the mother says sadly, because it is about how it all started, and I want it to end with you..."
A contest entry
- Creative-Writing Workshop (IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS) by Girl With Guitar.
1350 points, ended April 2, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Very inspiring
Such a sad story yet I was inspired by the mother's courage to share something so personal and devastating, all in the name of protecting her daughter from the same fate, 'and I want it to end with you.' It evoked many emotions from me on a deeply personal level and I tend to be drawn to what I can relate to. Well written Karen, I could imagine the scene clearly and could feel the mother's fear as if it were my own. Thanks for sharing it.
I'm really sorry but I'm only new to this site and I have no idea how to add a rating but I would give you 5 stars if I knew how to.
Anne
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wickedly sharp
loved it. great descrptions great imagery
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I absolutely love this story, very vivid imagination you have. I could visualize this happening as I read, like a movie
The cycle of violence, is a terrible cycle to break and often times one escapes one relationship, only to end up in another. Great write, with a beautiful ending.
Sincerely,
Sassy
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"I want you to read it, "the mother says sadly, because it is about how it all started, and I want it to end with you..."
This is touchy work and making me to feel the story of the heart here..you made it very deep and very strong to establish the issue..I love your point of the focus here.. well done.. -
wonderful job this piece is very heartfelt and sad, keep up the good write's
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As I read through the lines flowing across the page, I almost felt spellbound. This is a most intriguing piece. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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You've done a good job here, the ending is unexpected, that's for sure.
It's a great story line thank you for the entry -
Inspirational....
Great Write...
This flowed so well It was as if I was watching a movie in Hollywood.
It felt so comfortably invigorating
This a great piece for a movie!
Lo-Amo!
Salute!!!!!
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WOW...Thanks for the top rating! As usual, you do me too much justice, but I love it and I'll take all the credit I can get.
Karen
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I too, went in this contest and think your write is wonderful... You could never notice that it was indeed from a worshop thing... You have done so well here and have given a beautiful message across. I loved the whole thing and want to know more immediately... Wonderful writing my friend. Good luck (you deserve it).
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Thank you SO much!! I do hope to write more on this subject...in fact this may be the opening I will use for it. We'll see. I'm glad the message came across...and with it, the hope.
I'm glad to hear you are in the contest also. I've been reading the entries, as I go along. I think I remember seeing yours. I'll read that next!
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Excellent piece. You have dealt with an important issue with depth and feeling. I like the ending on a note of Hope. Well done!
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Thank you for responding with a comment to my piece, "The Visit From the Past...(Breaking the Silence). Yes, this is an important issue. Your acknowledgment is much appreciated. I'm glad that you recognized the hope in the ending, and the beginning of that...
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wow, that's really deep. i love how at first it starts off all inisint, and then you really nail the meaning. it's soo sad that this is what really goes on, the world today is sick and pathetic.
An exelent poem, it really captures your meaning, great write!
--gooshawn <3 xoxo
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I also want to add, that I really liked how you noticed the innocence with which my story, "A Visit From the Past" started, and then, the loss of it that occurred. It ended with hope of redemption somehow though...This is what I wanted to get across, anyway.
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