Life of Lies

A clique of words
Often experienced before
Impressions of unity
How often is this game to be ignored

I cannot fathom why
One has to express
All their wants of intentions
And what makes them try to impress
I cannot be honest
And tell them my thoughts
They would look at me
Then feel remorse

Not good enough
To show my hurts and pain
It is no use conversing
Or even trying to explain

I've heard so many lies
Not one to show me truth
It is all about oneself
And never about you

I've learned to ignore
What my real needs are
I block it out
And live with my scar

I grew up
Never experiencing life
Never knowing my direction
Or believing my rights

Happiness never came to me
Where love would stay permanently

Fun was a hard part to play
And as I grew
I never got to know any other way
I had to put others first
I couldn't deal with my own hurt

Not one
That could of really been my friend
Life is a party until the end
When you don't want their views no more
You shut yourself out
Then lock the door

I would rather lie in bed
Cry myself to sleep
Than listen to what they've said

A fraction of my past
Comes to mind
Where once

People were my kind
Now I see observations of mistrust
It's not about love anymore
But more about lust

So where does this leave me
Earthly creature of society

On this earth

I do not know
I need strength for my behavior
And discipline for my soul

Protecting my rights
I show another part to your scene
An angry explosion
Where I might become mean
I don't trust
A hard one to explain
So if I yell and scream
Fuck...who's to blame
I come from a past
Where they don't know
And I have seen lies
They thought would not show

Now another direction
Comes to mind
My happiness
And what I want to find

There are words inside my head
Where each of us know
We have all shared
Painful experiences
Life is to learn things as we pass
To know when to turn
And to take another path
I want that
More than anything in this life
I've seen too many stabs in the back
From so many blunt knives

Psychoanalyzing myself
I have such a long way to go
Where my future lies
In a fate I don't know

Each growing day
An everlasting digest
Remembering bad choices
And knowing the rest
I can't go on like this no more
And so I'll stay behind my door

Close encounters of a sexual kind
That is not what I had in mind
If that be their only need
Then leave me be so I can bleed
Their words

Inside my head
All those times they said they cared

With old cliche's experienced before

How often is this game to be ignored