Todays the day

I went from being so happy to so dark
I get tempted to take the knife and make myself bleed instead of someone else
Im a better person that this, im fighting for better things
But i cant seem to make the pain go away.. the fear.. the tears..
I cant see anything...
its all so dark..

I miss home.. I miss it all.
im just writing now.. no rhymes.. just letting it out on paper pretty much.

Im in this hole and i cant get out
Todays the day I want it all to fade away..
Its sucks waking up not knowing if thats your day

Im in love with my GI sweetheart. yet its a secret...
knowone can know...Why is everything such a secret?
I miss him.. i think i love him.. i missed him today
Todays the day i want it all to fade away

Im shaking as I hold the knife...My tears are falling, I go
hide on the otherside of the gravel pit.. where knowone can find me
I take it to my arm, because once i cut all the pain goes away..

What it is about seeing the blood slowly pour out of my arm
That makes me feel some kind of relief?

This life isnt for me..
I miss my skater friends, i miss doing what i want when i want.
I miss my brothers. Listening and playing guitar...
I really am ashamed of what it is I say
But today is the day i want it all to fade away
This dark place..
I hate it... And im stuck with knowhere to go