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First Day

Oh the pain of my mind
Losing myself in those halls
Not wanting to say good-bye

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • UnderThePickleTree
    September 24, 2008

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    Rhythm.

    The structure of a haiku goes 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables...and I agree with Travis..good bye to what?


  • travis34dietC
    March 26, 2007

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    the first two lines were good but i didn't quite understand the third one. not wanted to say good-bye to what? middle school?