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Hedonism

Missing image






He blends pastel pigments

into carbonaceous colors.

 

     Her eyes,

     expectantly extracting

     evidence of emotion.

 

She feels

like six hours before morning;

handcuffed in hues

of forgotten flowers

and far-off seasons.

 

     His mouth,

     muting moments

     of monogamy.

 

And so,

he alters affinity

into libidinal leisures.

 

     Her ardor,

     perishing beneath

     a nacreous arch.

 

She died to nothing

but female hedonism.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Picture credit: "The burden of her memories" by Ray Caesar

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Polaja Greeters member
    February 22, 2008

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    My favorite lines were 'She feels/ like six hours before morning'... wonderfully vivid imagery - and certainly reminiscent of the picture... it amazes me that you can write such beautiful poetry from such inspiration (not that I don't like Ray Caesar, but looking at that picture I go blank ) the last lines were perfectly fitting for the ending

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • psychiatrists dream
    December 10, 2007
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    great emotions come across in this poem, well written! thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Naridill gold member
    December 5, 2007

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    Again phrasing, alliteration and imagery is stunning. This piece draws you in at the start but let go a little at the end where I was hoping it would suction me further inwards but beautiful none-the-less.

    Thanks for entering
    & you are being removed but all poems which don't make pre-lims will be.


  • XyMaya
    September 2, 2007

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    I greatly enjoyed the imagery behind this and great sense of all the different emotionally feelings.
    This was a great write and it is simple but strong.
    Amazing work!

    ~Maya


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    August 31, 2007
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    Excellant/imaginative/intriguing

    A very fine write indeed, with excellant imagery.


  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 20, 2007

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    Oh wow, intensity immensely multiplied, wonderful piece to say the least! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


  • Hadji Murad
    April 16, 2007

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    This poem sent chills down my soul. I'm truly amazed at this. It's so beautiful and deep and lovely. Each line is so great. Your way with words is profound.


  • silverflowers
    March 31, 2007

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    This is an amazing poem from beginning to end. You've captured creativity and placed it into a poem.
    Superb!


  • gaze
    March 29, 2007

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    It's weird how some people choose to enjoy pleasure. Of course the standards vary from person to person, but still...For what I have understood in this poem, she died while enjoying a form of hedonism that we know (by name ) as sadism. Not something that I'd ever enjoy in my life! I so not agree with teh saying 'no pain, no gain' lol
    Very good poem Lele!

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    March 27, 2007

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    It has been so long since I have seen you in my contests -

    Lee, this is amazing, the imagery, metaphor and the overall emotion. Brilliant job.


  • crisstiena
    March 26, 2007

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    Hedonism. The doctrine that holds that pleasure is the highest good. Ancient hedonism expressed itself in two ways - the cruder form was that proposed by those who believed that pleasure was achieved by the complete gratification of all one’s sensual desires; on the other hand, others, though accepting the primacy of pleasure, tended to equate it with the absence of pain and thought that it could best be attained through the rational control of one’s desires...

    On that note, I would say you have penned an excellent poetic example of the genre. Maybe a few too many adjectives for my personal taste - and the alliteration seems slightly overused and unnecessary as a mnemonic device - but otherwise, I can hardly fault your writing here.

     

    Good luck in the contest.

    ♦ crisstiena

     

     


  • CountryCousin
    March 26, 2007

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    A different spin.

    You put a different spin on this subject. I followed the entire piece from start to finish. Definetly not a dull piece. It is nice to read your works.

  • pruedence
    March 26, 2007
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    Lovely poem...I love how it is arranged...the meaning within is deep..thanks for sharing


  • rollingzen
    March 26, 2007
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    'poetry' clouded by 'the words'

1 - 14 of 14