Find your ambition
Your life’s mission
To make a difference
To feel passionate
Not to hurt
To feel compassionate
Don’t give in to temptation
Follow your own path
Consult your willpower
Always have a laugh
Whets your inspiration
Cling to your dream
Find the motivation
The cat that got the cream
You can be there
It can be good
You can be achieving
Just like you should
Put yourself up there
Respect what your about
If people don’t appreciate it
Let them scream and shout
You have to take the bad
Don’t lose your aim
It comes by the bucketful
Keep playing the game
When you admit defeat
When you finally give in
You’ve lost all purpose
You’ve got to search within
It’s easy to blame yourself
It’s easy to blame the world
It’s easy to keep shouting
Until you think that you’ve been heard
But think about what your saying
About what it really means
Things aren’t as bad as you think
It’s not as bad as it seems
Stick to your aim
Stick to your dream
Find some inspiration
The cat that got the cream
A contest entry
- whatever the fuck you want III by Nam.
345 points, ended March 29, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspiration by Gvn.
300 points, ended April 11, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HAPPY CONTEST. My first contest only 1 rule! must rhyme. by K1r5ty.
900 points, ended December 29, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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well i think this is a very good wirte maybe be careful on your structure but if thats how you want to write sooo what!!! like i said anything goes. very insperational and i think you have done i good job!! goodluck in my contest
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I agree with Nam on the repeating comment, but at the same time this reinforces the goal of this poem - to inspire. And reinforcement is important when it comes to teaching positivity and inspiration, so I don't object to it. Great poem
<3 Good luck in the contest
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"Respect what your about" - "your" would be "you're" as in "you are".
This should be shorter. You repeat things, and sometimes repeating things is good but for this piece, it isn't. The title, where you have it in the piece, doesn't work. Not even at the end, especially at the end because the ending seems forced with the title. A lot of the lines are weak and that's mainly because of your rhyming. This does need to be shortened, at least by half the lines. You can get the same message - which I feel is an important message - with fewer words and it will make the rhyming more easier to read.
-Nam
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