Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Knight in Tarnished Armor

I stood once proud upon the hill
in armor brightly gleaming.
Sworn in service,
to protect and to honor.
My duty forsaken,
my chain of fealty,
growing ever heavy.


I stand once more now
upon that hill
Still in armor
now stained and tarnished.
Still I stand, ready to serve,
To fulfill my pledge.
The chain around my neck,
serving as ever a reminder,
of my failure.

Author notes

few will understand this, and those that do, well, you know me to well.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • rustynite silver member
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    had to read this one since i am rustynite. also have a tarnished armor thing. liked this. till honor is redeemed. its the waiting for an opporturnity that allows the rust to set in. will have to read more later.

  • silversoliloquysong
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like this! your use of old-school sounding words fits really well with the imagery and metaphor of the armor and chain. not bad for 2 in the morning, LOL i really like the last line; it kinda strikes unexpectedly inn the pit of the stomach, and it carries a lot of weight, as i like last lines to do.

    two misspellings i'll point out: feality should be fealty, and fulfil should be fulfill.

    i think this would be a good poem to expand... continue the metaphor, but fill in the space between standing once proud and standing once more now... just an idea.

    good write!

  • pruedence
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The poem made me think of , disappointment within ones self...I like how you used the usage of the armor as your shield...I like it alot..thanks for sharing