To be Yours

In this world, there’s only ebony,
With a touch of bloody mahogany,
And that’s all I can see.
No pink or white lace;
Teddy bears or cats stuffed with cotton
To soften my emotion.
No sheets of flowers and butterflies
To brighten these dim walls.
Only the warmth, provided by this dark sheet,
And the tenderness of the bloodstained head rest.

I can stare at my wrist-
The flesh so white and faint,
Never to be kissed by the sun’s romance-
I reveal the pearls left by the sliver steel from so long since.
Tiny and indefinable in remembering,
They linger still, Poking and probing
the very depth of my mind.
These lines of horizontal hatred smile upon my misfortunes.
But still, they only remain part of my memories,
As  those lustrous scars can do me no further harm.

With closed eyes,
all I can hear
is the whining of the ceiling fan.
The doors are closed.
The curtains are pulled.
And the light is off.
I left myself bare in this room.
Silence crept from behind.
Not even those existing in my mind,
Uttered a word.
All was hushed.

But the weight on the mattress shifted.
Though light and unburdened ,
I awoken to greet my visitor.
Our eyes locked in suppressed spirits,
Grey, the most cruel of all colors for eyes to possess,
Stormed his gleaming gaze upon my sapphire eyes.
Straight, bold cheeks of a powerful chin
Curved perfectly to a flirtatious grin.
I knew then, effortlessly, what your charming lips spoke.

You wrapped your strong limbs around me.
Pulled me close and told me,
“You are mine.”
Yours.
Yours alone.
The fire of your heart burned my cheek
As I laid my head atop it.
The force you retained could crush what heritage I owned.
What endurance could I direct in order to live?
My heart begged and cried, and plead, and bled!
For you!
You!
You alone!

How could I sleep after that?
Days have left me behind,
No rest for the weary mind,
No freedom from the intoxicating words you spoke,
No salvation for the one who fell for you.
To be yours?
To be yours alone, and only yours.
A dreamscape of hope  fluttered my mentality,
And never  had it been so clear.
The horror of my past,
The freakish nature of my psyche,
All of it, even to the very bone of my toe,
Was accepted.

This world of raven and crimson fabric,
No longer was it empty and lonesome.
Firm and rough, yet gentle to the meaning,
Hands held me securely.
That was all I needed.
That was all I wanted.
To be with another in this cruel fate.