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How Brave Was I

Once more my thoughts have left you
Like tart fruit; it consumes
The virgin tongue always parting
animosity alone

and I have ridden
the pungent train on
winter's stretched spine
to those days
those springtime days
when our kisses
once fed these thirsty trees.
Oh fields of bleak; they no longer weep

how careless was I
to not have cared for this
frail soul of mine
How it wept this dawn...

Love beats these thin lashes
  so innocent

     now with indignity

again, how brave was I
to not have dreaded
what true love can do!

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 22, 2008

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    Braver than me... I fear love a lot! I always tried to hide my love or push it aside, because I saw how it could hurt others and it's only recently that I decided to just let it go and swe what happens. Very beautifully written.

  • Samantha Amergirdol
    August 13, 2007

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    I don't know if you care about splitting your infinitives, but in a wonderful piece like this, that certainly doesn't matter to me. Absolutely beautiful and with a powerful meaning... great flow, word choice, imagery... just amazing. Brilliantly penned, keep it up!

    Thanks for entering!


  • earthstar
    March 31, 2007

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    Love beats these thin lashes
    so innocent

    now with indignity

    again, how brave was I
    to not have dreaded

    I love the ending you have captured the feeling to first love down to it core. It been awhile for me. It made me reflective on the beauty of love that we sometimes take for granted as we gray. Sometimes it does take a brave person to experince love. Very carefree and it has a free flow to it. I liked it very much


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 31, 2007

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    What expressive words you have used in these lines to get your point across. Liked the flow and the brevity of the lines. Wonderful conclusion. One has to experience love to know what it is all about, good and bad.


  • chills gold member
    March 30, 2007
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    OK this is now completely gorgeous. I hope you win over and over. I know, I am anal. Can't help it.xx


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    March 29, 2007

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    this is beautiful you have integrated tender sexuality with lovely thoughts of regret, perhaps some hope, and a smooth smooth delivery which propelled me right through so i could go back and enjoy it effortlessly. very stylish and very sexy and beautiful


  • RedAquarius
    March 29, 2007

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    "feilds" should be "fields", no need for 3 exclamation points at the end (IMHO). Other than that, really enjoyed this - had a wispy yet strong feel.


  • chills gold member
    March 29, 2007

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    Got into my viscera. But I'm a Brit and I need spellings...........'ridden not rode' etc................ My red pen (in my head) spoilt this for me. Come and correct my stuff...!! But - seriously - yes, seriously good. Have three

  • Redtearstains
    March 29, 2007
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    DEEEEEP

    Wow this is stuningly written. Your sntiments are well expressed. Well done

  • Eusebius
    March 29, 2007

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    bravo

    A marvelous lover's lament, well thoughtout and so ably and so very deftly done. A sentiment that we can all have empahty with...bravo...bravo...bravo...


  • blakdiamone
    March 27, 2007
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    like this one yo'. This yeah, it's never a good idea to underestimate true love.


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 27, 2007

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    "Again How brave was I to not have dread what true love can do!" Such truth that we seek true love and yet not think of the possibilities it could do to our hearts. Outstanding write~


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    March 26, 2007

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    Nicely laid out poem with good use of metaphors. Strong imagery.

    All the best,
    Charishma


  • Laura
    March 26, 2007

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    wow

    springlike think youve forgot a space there love...this is an amazing poem, you clearly show you ahve a skill of imagery which adds to the magical delights of this poem well done it amazing xxx
    laura xx


  • BleAcHeDandDyEd
    March 25, 2007
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    wow...I am stunned byt he pen man ship here..I can relate to the imagery of words...EXCELLENT!


  • MysticAngelEyes
    March 25, 2007
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    A very nice write, such vvid imagery you've painted with your words, very nicely done.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    March 25, 2007

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    how brave was I
    to not have dreaded
    what a love can do!!!


    nice ending on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest, cause this poem was just golden


  • RealLifeFairytales
    March 25, 2007

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    amazingly written, love can make u strong even when its lost for a while.
    Beautiful, keep on writing!
    <3Barbara


  • freebutsafe
    March 25, 2007
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    Very well written...Well done!


  • JoyfulWriter
    March 25, 2007

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    I love this! So much vivid imagery and amazing love here intertwined in every word. Such an enjoyable read. Good luck in this contest! Smiles, Terry


  • Sacrificial Love
    March 25, 2007

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    Bravery...

    oh my goodness...it truly does take bravery.

    You penned this to perfection!
    Write on beautiful poetess...
    write on.

    xoxo
    Heidi

1 - 23 of 23