Is it my age and circumstance
Condemning me to lonely wanks
An empty bed
A done-in head
A "serves one" portion of romance?
Am I a single-barreled gun
A one-on-one who's missing one?
It wasn't a worry
There wasn't a hurry
But now I think solo's no fun
Is it my circumstance and age
My high-rise flat, my low-rise wage
This mid-life strife
This mid-strife life
Makes my story crawl across this page?
I've served my time with "his-and-hers"
With joint accounts and debts and worse
Don't want that again
But I still want a friend
To give me a good end for this verse...
Author notes
An old story, I know...
A contest entry
- Ace's Rhyming Narrative Contest! by AceOSpades.
850 points, ended April 27, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"Am I a single-barreled gun
A one-on-one who's missing one?"
That's exactly the kind of line that I looove. In fact, the first two lines of each stanza are particularly great in this poem. Yeah, there are a couple weak rhymes (again/friend... and the ever popular and overdone life/strife), but enough good lines and moments to make up for it. You're clearly very witty, I almost wish there was more here... Nice work -
While being alone may seem out of sort so was 12 years in a horrible relationship.
This has a good flow to it and I liked the hers/worse rhyme.
John -
"This mid-life strife This mid-strife life" excellent phrase - bad condition to be found in tho. . . the ending is brilliant, simply brilliant, looking for a "good ending." I can understand your reticence with a relationship that has strings attached - i hope you find the companionship your heart so richly deserves. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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Awwww...
Very uniquely written and filled with great imagery! I love the style and emotions! Great write to read and makes you want to keep reading all the way through! I love the "real" tone and unforced way you have conveyed so much! Esp. love the last line! I Think it said so much in a poetic fashion! Like, a good end for all the BS! Nice read!
Loved it!
Castaway-Poet
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smut smut smut ,,, lol ,,,,well written not only has this meaning but well structured too ..if you know what i mean
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