I am cloaked in caliginosity...
I am lost in this murky hole.
feeling I will never get out,
searching for my buoyant soul.
Covered by wretched filth,
no chemical can change.
Light at the end of a tunnel,
reveals a commodity exchange.
What ghastly world is this?
What foreign body lies out of view?
Will I walk again on estranged feet...
or become that dreary shade of dolent blue?
Author notes
I went with my first impressions on the picture.. and I saw "darkness" & "Light at the end of the tunnel" so I went with it, & turned out this short piece that I feel, speaks volumes about lonliness, depression, godlessness, and optimism thru a failing hope.
Vocab:
Caliginosity: misty; dim; dark.
Buoyant: tending to float in a fluid; not easily depressed; cheerful.
Commodity: something of use, advantage, or value.
Ghastly: shockingly frightful or dreadful; horrible.
Estranged: to turn away in feeling or affection; make unfriendly or hostile; alienate the affections of.
Dolent: Sorrowful.
A contest entry
- Let Your Imagination Run Free #8 (Picture Contest) by Aussie Gypsy.
500 points, ended April 23, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
First impressions-Opinions...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is a great piece, the word selection was superb, I think this is great, well done on a wonderful effort
Thanks for taking the time to enter, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
Excellent vocabulary usage and great imagery. Being a dying breed of an optimist myself, I really related to this poem. Beautifully stated here, and a marvelous flow. Fantastic balance and symmetry. I was mesmerized all the way through.. GOOD JOB!
The title and everything about this poem was perfect and absolutely stunning. I loved it!
The beginning and the end tied together wonderfully'
"I am cloaked in caliginosity..."
AND
"or become that dreary shade of dolent blue?"
I am bookmarking this poem!
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Kare,
What a powerfully bright and cheery comment. It put a smile on my face! I am always so pleased to turn out a peace that people can connect with. Thank you KINDLY!!!
~MotherMachineGunn~
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"reveals a commodity exchange." seems too mercenary a phrase for this poem, though I know what you're saying. Your 1st and 3rd stanzas are strong with great imagery.
At first glance, the word chemical confused me. Yes, an antipressant only helps so much. I can relate.
Great description of depression, and the delemma of "estranged feet". I choose the "estranged feet" over constant "dolent blue" myself.
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Freed By Mercy,
Thank you for the comment..it was very honest and uplifting. I LOVE CRITICAL REVIEWS!
I understand perfectly what your saying:
"reveals a commodity exchange"
but at the same time... I still feel that it fits... the light is revealing something of use.. something of value to me. It is revealing a hope.
Will I lay in my own filth? or will I crawl out of the hole and make due with whatever may lie on the other-side? Which is where the next stanza comes into play...
"What ghastly world is this?
What foreign body lies out of view?"
Damn metaphors! LoL.
Thank you once again for the wonderful comment. Hopefully I shed a little light for ya.
~MotherMachineGunn~
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Well, I learnt a new word, today! "Caliginosity" certainly is an amzing expression and so apt for this piece. Very well done.
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Thank you kindly for taking the time to read the poem and leaving an uplifting comment. Always pleased to aide in someone learning a new word.
~MotherMachineGunn~
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Will I walk again on estranged feet... or become that dreary shade of dolent blue?
A question often asked... Fantastic write here...
As always you leave me thinking and in awe...
Jeffro -
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Always good to know I have a few fans.. thank you for coming back and leaving those wonderful comments & critiques. They always brighten my day. Take Care.
~MotherMachineGunn~
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