I'm shattered
like pieces of broken glass
your absence sharply
cutting through
my soul
piercing the center
of my heart
I bleed
In a list
A contest entry
- WORDS... QUICKIE CONTEST... by Harrisham Minhas.
300 points, ended March 26, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This really reaches deep in just a few lines! The photo fits perfectly. Abandonment and loss of a loved one is shattering, and it can cause a fragmentation of the heart and soul that is difficult to heal. It can also be transformed into hope, and finally, moving on - but never forgetting.
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like a good, hit and run, quickie, every once in awhile. skip the dance, just get down to it... wanted to return the favor.
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Within the rules of the contest I find this a very nice contender. You tapped some pretty powerful emotion in so few a words and the one word ending was a very well placed touch. Picture and all, I loved the poem but hated the emotion for I am no stranger to such a heartache. Very well done!
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wow now this is good... you are so very talented and you can write in so many different syles and i adore you for that well done love this is amazing poetry
laura xxxx -
This is a very emotional and sad write. Nicely done.
Thanks for your entry. Good luck in my contest!
Be Serene,
Spread Peace,
Harrisham Minhas.
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Touching, and saddened
Sad and filed with love that is lost. nicely done.
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ouch, painful...wonderfully crafted with precision so as not to use any spare parts...excellent job!
Rory
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Words can cut so deeply, harshly and like this write they do not have to be many to cause the bleed, they can be but a few. Powerful penning.
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Well composed! The image is much deeper than words should allow. I’m impressed with the directness of this poem. Good job.
Love,
Amera
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Superb
A sad, however, a very good write indeed. Your imagery, rhythm, and rhyme were fine. I liked this all the way through just as it is. -
What can I say...extreme explosive aching write done here....Feel the pain and dammit it hurts....excellent my bestest bud, absolutely poignant and pierces the soul...Good luck...and I am here!!!
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Good
Keep up the good work!
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Short in words...
Everlasting in impact. Only true artists can convey emotions so deep, so layered in that amount of words. I applaud you.
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This piece punches like a hammer. Crisp and clear message. Well wrote.
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Ouch...
Not much gray area here is there? I'm so sorry of the pain you're going through. Keep your chin up sweetie, and things will get better
Best of luck in the contest!
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