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Who Knew?




We were young dreams were new
like a night’s warm summer breeze
your window I slipped through
Lovers? But:
That was not a word we knew.
We spoke no words in context,
a secret even unto ourselves
and we held our secrets close.
Your world of books and clubs
and private homes.
My world of parties, drugs
and broken dreams.
But we were lovers still
and you learned so much:
Debutants and high priced clothes;
and I learned so much:
About letting go










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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • dark cajun shadow
    April 12, 2007
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    A very nice piece...very touching and easy to relate too. Good work!


  • Pamela A Lamppa gold member
    April 7, 2007
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    Congratulations

    Glad to see a trophy on this piece. It is truly deserved for this amazing verse. Congratulations dear one. It deserves this and much more. ~Pamela

  • honey bear
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering and good luck in the contest with this amazing write

  • Whoochi gold member
    March 26, 2007

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    wow! Hit home with me....even if it was a different kind of relationship than the one expressed here...i had to let go as well...very tender moment here...great emotional depth....good luck!


  • Night Hope gold member
    March 25, 2007

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    "We spoke no words in context,
    a secret even unto ourselves
    and we held our secrets close."

    It seems everyone is picking up on these particular lines, my Friend...because they feel so honest ~ so true to the spirit of the poem...Impressive, bold & brave...well done, Poet...Good luck in the contest, Sweetie... Wanda


    • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
      March 25, 2007
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      That is because they are universal to anyone who has had any sort of affair. My favorite lines are the last four because they are specific to me and the poem was born from them.

  • Cinnarry gold member
    March 25, 2007
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    heavy sigh..thats all I can muster right now. wow


  • crisstiena gold member
    March 25, 2007

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    I am trying here to get my head around the rhyme scheme. It feels almost familiar, but is juuuust out of reach. As a rule, I am not a fan of rhyme, although I have been forced [kicking and screaming] to produce it on occasion.

    What I like about this poem is the aching simplicity of it - the almost tearful courage of lines like "We spoke no words in context,a secret even unto ourselves
    and we held our secrets close" and the bitter irony of getting over your dreams by having them come true (also the brilliant double edge to the final line, almost as if you are saying "now that you're gone, I no longer dream").
    The real beauty here is that you do not protest too much - there is a part of you that is tempted to believe and there's a part of you that knows that none of it can be true.

    Kudos for being the first entry in this contest. And good luck.

    ~ crisstiena ♦


    • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
      March 25, 2007
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      it only rhymes by coincedence, I didn't change it because the words were true to my soul. This was a 90 percent first draft poem. and, you are right, I didn't dare to dream for a while but time heals all

      • crisstiena gold member
        March 26, 2007
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        Coincidence or no, it is a beautiful piece and I
        am so glad that time has healed your wounds.
        I thought you might like this quote from Seneca - he of the 'time heals'... “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”


  • jayson48
    March 25, 2007

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    VERY GOOD

    we spoke no words in context

    how many of us can feel this line, i can in many ways and i loved it when i read it

    this is powerful and wonderful


  • Pamela A Lamppa gold member
    March 25, 2007
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    Powerful

    This is a very powerful piece. Hard. Secretive, and tender in the memory, the thoughts, the lessons learned. Wow. Loud Whisper has picked the words too, amazing my friend. I buckled in gasp with this one. Well done. ~Pamela


    • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
      March 25, 2007

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      ya this was one of those do I really want to put it out there poems; but I have to be true to my voice or it all becomes contrived.

      • Pamela A Lamppa gold member
        March 25, 2007

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        Ken

        Always write from deep within. That's when you show your best work. Who Knew? was probably one of the best pieces I read of yours. ~Pam

  • Loud Whisper
    March 25, 2007

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    So much conveyed in these lines:

    "We spoke no words in context,
    a secret even unto ourselves"

    Do we only find the secrets within ourselves when we lose ourselves in another? Perhaps...

    What an image you have painted here dear poet. Well done! Keep writing...

1 - 18 of 18