She is:
black blood ignorance,
a knee-high mimic
of tarp hyde.
Her limbs
dart vertical lines;
a platinum edge,
silver cold.
Hackneyed:
Finance holds habit
hidden as wise webs.
Degraded
and strung
by something holy
with ambivalent
binge-romances.
Sister;
long-legged spider
spits in the distance:
a blood line.
By birth,
new generations
arise from knit-eggs;
Eve by bone.
She is:
Cold fruit ignorance;
destined jealousy.
Spread and spat
by whore Virgin-Marys.
Author notes
--"Professional Widow"--
--"Fever 103"--
REFERENCES
A contest entry
- THE GODDESS by sweetpearl.
800 points, ended April 2, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Yow. The tidal flow of estrogen bites off my head and entrances me with a bright red hourglass, and I yield, speaking, "You are the holder of the womb!"
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I like your witty comments, I htink they are very funny.
Yea, this was a creative writing assignment, also a rant.
Thanks =]
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Sigh. I'm sorry, I've just had too much of this lately.
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binge romances. i like that a lot.
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misiiiia
duuude.
gimme your password or something,
(you can change it later)
and ill fix everything for you.
PLUS i have 4000 pts, and absofuckinglutely
nothing to do with them, so ill donate mk?
<3
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What I think of your poem has already been expressed in some of the other comments, so rather than repeat ttem, I'll applaud it 3 times because this piece deserves it.
By the way, um, this is the girl from MSpace who aksed you your AP username, in case you didn't know.
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Powerful
Perhaps judgemental. But a strong statement, which I like. Taking a stand, with originality. That's inspiring.
And besides, I like bitchy.
Kudos. -
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i am bitchy.
right now.
:/
my grandmother just slaughtered
my ass at scrabble.
but thank you :]
alysha
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hahahahaha
laughter wrought from the utmost bitter self I contain...because I found this in a dark place huddled in a corner
and felt nothing but the beauty of its being
I've lifted my tongue into the word "incredible"
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hahaha
ily!
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oh my god. ur words are sooo powerful! great write!
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thank you thank you =]
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Rawr. That's what it makes me think. The piece was effective and thick, the title was used great and I like it anyway.
"Her limbs... - ...silver cold."
--I'm kind of getting chills ... ooh, it's pretty interesting.
"long-legged spider
spits in the distance"
--tingly, I like the image here. I can see it happening ... maybe it's poisonous spit? Let's hope.
The ending kind of rhymed, it was delivered like a freakin' punch in the face for me. Everything about this is just grand. Thanks so much for entering.
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hahaha.
yeah it is a punch in the face, ain't it?
i was angry.
pretty toriesque [[inspired]]
thanks =]
Alysha
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I love it... I suck at commenting so I won't be able to word this well. This poem is like a bucket of ice water to the face in the middle of a heatwave.
"Jesus!"
Well done xoxox
Speedie
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hahaha.
to your comment.
thanks =]
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Hello. I like this...all of it. The content---the dark side of sisterhood?
"She is:
black blood ignorance,
a knee-high mimic
of tarp hyde.
Her limbs
dart vertical lines;
a platinum edge,
silver cold.
Hackneyed:
Finance holds habit
hidden as wise webs."
or...a mimic to the man?
There's lots in here I'm missing, as the style blinds me. I can hear it without going 'ouch', and your storyline's good.
The imagary is brilliant, too...'tarp' hide'...yikes.
no doubt, I'll read this a few times. Thanks!
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=] thanks
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Well this just seems to spit out venomous hatred... Not entirely sure what it's about... I could read it a few abstract ways, but w/e...
The only dependable thing about the future is Uncertainty.
-Chaos -
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well. someone's rather bitchy.
but my opinion's unchanged.
and im rather uncertain of the validity of the statement,
"The only dependable thing about the future is Uncertainty."
explain, because frankly, I'm lost.
thanks though.
=] -
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I wasn't insulting it or anything... the poem read a little malicious to me... did I misinterpret it?
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well, i guess it is spat hatred, and if i offended you, in case you're some form of a bible-thumper, then too bad.
i guess tone is hard to read via the net. -
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HAHAHAHA... ME? I couldn't be any farther from a bible-thumper... And I wasn't insulted at all... I just said it kind of matter-of-factually. No I liked it... It's just a lil hard to figure out what exactly it is about... course then again my brain is a lil fried from today... so w/e.
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well. in that case,
im over it
=]
i suppose it's obscure.
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Damn. What happened to you? I mean gosh this is so so good, it's like you had some kind of epiphany. lol
Really though, it's probably the best in the contest. I wonder when it will be judged?
Best wishes...
Lea -
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ugh! what are you talking about!?
i was looking through the others and then i saw your name...
and im like.
shit.
shes got that one right in the bag.
haha.
well i took creative writing this semester and I'm trying my hardest to learn and try some different stylistic devices techniques..w/e
so i went ahead and deleted pretty much all my poetry and only have my recent ones...from the creative writing period.
but this one.
i dont know
i loved justines "Mother Milk" and made my own rendition. But im not putting it up because it's not original. And hers is too awesome to beat.
and its no wonder shes friends with you..
youre both awesome writers!!!!.......
i hate you.
just kidding.
i had so much trouble with this one, i wanted it to be perfect so i have like 7 drafts. really rough drafts--more like ideas, and I dont think its complete yet at all.
:/
ughugh.
writing is a lot more difficult than I thought. I never knew how to revise until this class. I was afraid to taint my work.
But im working on it :]
thank you for the comment!
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well you had me fooled. I always thought you were a better writier than I am. I guess we are both just self-deprecating. I have yet to take any writing or poetry classes. however, I am considering taking them this fall when I transfer to a real college (as opposed to the community one I've been going to for the past three years heh heh).
I do like to revise a little here and there, it can help things quite a bit I've noticed.
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Oh I know that now.
Revision, revision, revision.
I really like the class.
And the best part is that
my teacher is a feminist Tori-Fiend as well (haha)
and shes all spiritual.
she even told this kid griffin
that in a past life he was a reporter.
shes really eccentric. and amazing.
and shes a good techer as well.
shes taught us a lot of pretty nifty tricks here and there.
but i think you should take a course. theres nothing negative that can come from it, only improvements
:] -
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yeah I've always wanted to take a poetry course; it's just that the ones they offered at my school didn't work with my schedule. argh.
your teacher sounds cool. lol. -
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Well, it sounds like some heads need to fly.
KAH-CHOPPP!
She is :]
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