Appaloosa dapples splashed upon blue canvas
foretell of a storm that’s brewing up momentum.
These tiny speckled clouds soon gather overhead
to form eerie white-topped Lippizan thunderheads,
rearing up to block out the Palomino sun.
Lightning flashes dance on the ridge like hot-blooded
Arabians prancing proud along a fence line,
while thunder’s gait jumps from single-foot to gallop.
Storms are building in the heavens with Clydesdale force
as Thoroughbred winds sweep across the prairie floor.
Soon the herd is corralled; an equine sky churns as
hoof-like hailstones stampede from heaven to earth.
Spent, the Lippizans trot off into the distance,
leaving behind a few Mustang clouds to remind
me that today was not a good day for a ride.
Author notes
Single-foot - also known as a rack, this is a medium speed horse's gait in which each foot strikes the ground separately. This results in a four beat sound. Gallop - the fastest gait of a horse, whereby the horse is running, and at one point in each stride the horse is entirely airborne. While still a four beat sound, it is much faster than a rack or single-foot.
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired, 3 Options from Berlin by broad-and-fair.
600 points, ended March 28, 2007, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST!!!!!!!!!! by Maybe Anastasia.
300 points, ended May 14, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Here's another anything goes by lovlilmystery.
800 points, ended November 18, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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It takes a special person, to know how to write poetry, in a way to paint beautiful pictures. This piece is beautiful and a rarity. Thank you, for entering the contest. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
You created quite a magnificent scene with your words. It was awe-inspiring to read. For a moment I was swept away into the beauty you describe so well here. thank you for your entry!
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You know what, I should just learn to avoid any contests your in!
.. I think you should be out riding the cowboy poetry circuit when your not out riding fences.. That should keep you outta my hair for awhile! 
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exquisite
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Loved how you named several horses! Briliantly written. Blessings.
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Beautiful. You know your horse breeds and their temperaments and have likened them to natures stormy skies. A pleasure to read.
Sheila
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This is beautiful and moving. Always wonderful to see another lover of these fine animals. The horses of the American west never fail to impress and amaze me (although I have only had once chance at seeing them in action). They have such fortitude and strength. And you have honoured all of horse-kind well in the poem. Magnificently done.
Love and ponies,
~ L
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This is a wonderful piece of horse wizardry. I enjoyed this thoroughly being a horse lover myself. Well done and best to you
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Guess you don't need constructive anything! Congrats on the gold - you deserve it. I love the fact that you used Lippizans - gorgeous horses with their own tale of terror. Very nice work.
Wolfie
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Well it's hard to critisize because the imagery and the originality of the idea is fantastic, I wish I knew a little more about the sounds you mention because it would add to the atmosphere created by the visuals. I particularly liked the lines 'an equine sky churns as hoof like hailstones stampede from heaven to earth' I love storms but this one sounds particularly fantastic. Loved it!
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Nice each stanza leaves me with beautful imagery.
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Nice visualization. I can picture each breed and how they would effect the weather. Thanks for sharing
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Whoa, It's this an amazing poem or what. I'm bookmarking this wild beauty for sure. You wouldn't mind if I put you on my favorites list, would you. You really have a remarkable poetic talent. Boy, there really are some fine writers in Canada nowadays. It must be something in the water. Oh yes, congratulations on the gold trophy- you surely deserved it and more.
All the best,
David
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hmmm. I love this. I love the way you put all the breeds in there AWESOME Job! Great job. Thanks for the entry.
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You have been pounding out trophies while I've been away. That is a great thing. I notice that you have many lady fans. Why not? You should. This is a dynamic bit of verse, not casual in any way as far as form goes. It's like you cut loose here and just let the poem go. I congratulate you on the gold. It is well deserved>
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Definitely worthy of the gold trophy it received Rory! This is perfect in EVERY way!! I don't know all that much about horses... but you used them and their characteristics perfectly in this to create a perfect storm!
Actually I found this write exhilerating and exciting... I love a good thunder and lightning storm, I always run to my porch with a cup of coffee and just sit in amazement as lightning flashes across the sky...
You've written a wonderful piece here, very original and unique!
~Melissa
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WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never read a poem like this before! How you used the horse breeds to describe the storm was incredible. This is one of my favorite poems as I am a horse lover myself. My horse is a throughbred crossed with Hanoverian. Anyway, BEAUTIFUL poem. Very creative!
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Great write my friend. I enjoyed your words much. YOu have done a wonderful job with this. Even before I saw the picture that inspired you I recived a picture in my head from your words. You have decribed it in such beautful words. Great job. Keep them coming my friend. I enjoy reading your work.
Tabitha -
Very Nice
Ahh I wonder if you like horses then ??
A lovely interpretation.
Hugs
Jill xxx -
WOW
This is truly a gold trophy piece. Congratulations on the win.
Being a horse lover, I really appreciated the complexity of this piece. You were able to connect each horse's personality with what was happening in the natural world. Wonderfully done!
-joanne
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Extremely Beautiful!!!
I really enjoyed your poem. It is filled with such vivid imagery that one can see horses in front of one's own eyes. Excellent use of metaphorical language. I adore horses. Your poem brought many sweet dreams for me . You deserved the trophy. Thanks for sharing. Would you mind reading my poem "Life Imitates Art"?http://allpoetry.com/poem/2363531 I would appeciate your comments. -
Nicely Done
This is a great piece. Very nicely written indeed. I loved how you used a heap of different breeds. I love horses, they are my life. Congrats on the Gold trophy.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Filled with such vivid images, one can see these horses as they prance and storm around. Very exciting these images you share here. Liked the flow and the beat of the words. Can see why you received gold for this one - congratulations.
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wow! this is very creative! i am a fan of horses and, honestly, this poem had alot of imagery and flowed quite nicely!
good write and keep it flowing!
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This was breathtaking! I could see the herds of horses running wild and free in my own mind and imagination. Fantastic!! I loved the way you worked this out.
~A Heart's Hope Lies Within Belladonna~ -
I just love the way you have used the breeds of horse to emphasise this poem, it works really well and one can see how the inspiration was derived from the picture, excellent, Broad
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very good
a interesting write, we used to have horses and there is no greater love than man and a horse. I defintly sensed your love for horses in this write
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Wow this was an amazing poem and definately had absolutely awesome metaphor and description! Definately worth the click! Rock on! xoxo Meg
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Excellent use of metaphors in this write...and having grown up in Kentucky and had thoroughbreds of my own, i got a little homesick...very awesome imagery here...bravo!
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This was a wonderful write filled with metaphors and words painting images so clearly, I could have been standing watching captivated myself. Excellent imagery and rhythm to this and I might add, quite creative, ahhhh, but much of your work is This was such a pleasure to read ~Tia
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Terrific piece with lots of beautiful images. I love your choice of vocabulary and the great images you draw with your wonderful words. Good luck in the contest.
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as soon as i saw this was a nature poem i clicked! and im so glad i did because this is amazing! i looove nature poems, you totally rocked the joint lol
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This is a breath taking wriye! The imagery is outstanding! I am so pleased I chose to read this. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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This is really amazing. What a creative idea for a poem to this picture and it turned out to be excellent. Thanks for another enjoyable read and good luck in the contest!
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i love the way you've matched the qualities associated with the different breeds with the weather- it works seamlessly and the images it creates are really effective in bringing out the central metaphor, contrasting the power and strength that horses possess with that of a storm.
the only criticism i would have is of the final line. i think the idea works becuase it brings this great, epic skyscape you've created and makes it more personal, but i think the phrasing is a little weak for the final line, which makes it seem a little bit anticlimatic
otherwise great write!
E~
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wow...that was great..your vocabulary really made the poem even better, great job!
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I Love Horses! And your Poem Paints The Most Beautiful Picture As You Read This. My Favorite Part In This Particular Piece Was *Lightning flashes dance on the ridge like hot-blooded
Arabians prancing proud along a fence line* You are an amazing poet! Good Luck In the contest!
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I've never had a great love of horses but the beauty of this struck me none-the-less.
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Reading your poetry is like being "there"...
it's a mini-vacation to beautiful images
you allow us to create from your words.
I adore this poem, and I didn't need a
passport
Love, Lane
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love the dapples just something about them WOW what can i say brilliant each breed fits perfectly within your lines the imagery you have paints the picture but the horses give an added depth that enhances in a way that is unique. Knowing the difference between the breeds i see vivdly each horse and know what is happening in the sky definitely not a good day for a ride. I applaud loudly brilliantly penned love the originality. very well crafted
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Brilliant write you have Rory CONGRATULATIONS ON THE GOLD
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Beautiful imagery!
Best of luck...
Azlyn -
I like this and it's descriptiveness. I would have prefered the last verse to stay in form . The last line breaks from the rest of the piece; like it does not belong there.. at least not without a preceeding lead line. Still, this is a gorgeous piece and I truly enjoyed it. Blessings. Debby
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thanks for the great comment. I was trying for an abrupt ending to match the quickness of a hailstorm, but reading it again, I didn't like it much either. I've changed the ending somewhat, hope you enjoy it.
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The ending is perfect now.. great change that finishes this awesome piece. Blessings. Debby
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Superb
http://www.homestead.com/deenotes/ghost.html An excellant write. Reminds me of the old song: "(Ghost) Riders in the Sky". Excellant imagery, rhythm, and rhyme.
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I know that picture well and your description is amazing and you can feel the power and the thunder from the hooves, the majesty in their flight and the want to take one and just ride. A fine penning my friend.
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