This noose around my neck-
like my conscience waiting to explode,
Held back with self-induced ulcers
penetrating the depths
of every moments thought,
Bound to emerge in wraths boiling fury-
a treachery, a realization, a defaulted plan,
My powers of self-contamination found useless
and this sickness devours me,
All at once but nibbling at my essence-
slowly down my spine,
Freedom bleeds everlasting retribution
for one that I love,
and loathe,
This termination of me,
these moments of self-evaluation-
and less elavated drowning truth,
Clinging to walls of invisiable solidity
and the melting of impenetrable me,
A would-be everything-
an everyday nobody with powers now times three
feeding the souls of the damned,
Life's milk and cynical food
that poisons the very being.......
Of God.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i am impressed by this write and that doesn't happen very often for me lately. thank you for sharing this with me. i am looking forward to reading more from you. viyanna rosemarie
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I go through those speels as well, when nothing I read seems to agree with my taste, but then I find people who really suprise me, if youd like a good poet to read, check out youllneverknow , she writes amazing poems. Take care.
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wow
This is wayyy intense.I love it.It's dark and honest.The vocabulary you used is very good and everything fits together nicely.Good job. :]
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Thanks alot for your comment and Im sorry its taken so long to reply, Im glad you enjoyed it and I look forward to returning the favor.
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"This termination of me,
these moments of self-evaluation-
and less elavated drowning truth,
Clinging to walls of invisiable solidity
and the melting of impenetrable me,
A would-be everything-
an everyday nobody with powers now times three"....holy cow, that souns familiar...well, feels familiar is more like it...that feeling you get in those moments where you think so hard about yourself or things that effect you that you have no idea who you are anymore....great write!
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Sorry its taken so long to reply. Im glad that you enjoyed the poem, this is a poem about reflecting on oneself and not being happy with whats seen, its odd how most people feel that way. Take care and thanks for stopping by.
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Sorry forgot to applaud the first time. This new stuff is pretty fancy and I'm now getting used to it. How sad.
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Amazing. Your vocabulary is getting better and it contributes so much to the piece. The diction of a poem is usually what I focus on. Mainly because that's all I got. You're muse is brilliant. This is so different from what I used to read from you. Not complaining you were great but now I don't think I could stop reading if I wanted to. I saw that it was in a contest and I am totally entering one. I love the direction you can take with the topics available and considering I haven't written anything in a while I do believe it's what I need to get back into the swing of things. I miss you, old friend.
ha ha ha: old.
Yink -
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IM NOT OLD!!!!!
You are my favorite person on this site, I miss you times ten and I cannot wait to read more of your work. We should start a group, but only let the two of us in it!! Hope you are well.
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Marvelous!!!!
Well worded and spectacular use of vocabulary. Visually stunning is a good description for this. Each lines pulls you into the next, one after the other untill it ends with both a sense of completion and a yurning for more.
Very well done
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Thank you, I enjoyed your comment almost as much as your poem, I will definately return to your page and delve further into your world, hope all is well.
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Wow. This is really good. It's so solid. It is good the whole way through. It shows some very serious skill. The first 10 or so lines are my personal favorite but the rest don't lead me away from loving your poem. Great job
Good Luck
Love Nikki -
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Thanks, it feels good to write again, glad you enjoyed it, hope the contest is going well.
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