The first time I saw him, he took my breath away.
I never knew how much my heart means to me, for I swayed.
I look at him with my love in my eyes.
With meaningless emotions that came from my pride.
Then one day, our eyes finally met.
All through the day, I was content.
The next day was not like before, so different.
As through I was nothing, so nonexistent.
I walked away with confusion and hatred.
Like the civil war, not so patriot.
So today, I wrote this poem.
The feeling I have of being alone.
A contest entry
- The Way We Met by Broken - Doll.
450 points, ended April 3, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by DelaneyDisaster.
300 points, ended April 2, 2007, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is hard, when you're so far away.... by ScarletLetter.
550 points, ended March 26, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First Blush Of Love by shysky.
450 points, ended March 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The real you. NO LIES!! by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
700 points, ended March 26, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! Seriously ANYTHING! by A Murderous Lament.
390 points, ended April 2, 2007, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cryptic by x Gemini x.
525 points, ended April 10, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First Contest by glambert1201.
300 points, ended April 13, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
377 points, ended April 16, 2007, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Live the Life, Taste the Pain by Silly Rabbit..
1200 points, ended April 18, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest by fallenangel671.
800 points, ended May 6, 2007, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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excellent poem i felt the emotions behind it and i loved it, my favorite part would have to be
The next day was not like before, so different.
As through I was nothing, so nonexistent.
I walked away with confusion and hatred.
Like the civil war, not so patriot.
So today, I wrote this poem.
The feeling I have of being alone.
this was an awesoem part and an excellent way to end the poem,
good luck in the contest
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
This was a nice poem, and I a plus a lot of other people can relate to this poem and I think that that helps make a poem great.
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Thanks for entering my contest, though i technically said i would DQ anyone who didnt have the quote in thier Authors notes....ill let it slide.
Sweet and smiple.
The flow seems a bit off, but overall the situation was protrayed well.
Well done
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This poem was loaded with feelings. Who among us hasn't experienced the confusion and agony of this kind of rejection. Like the saying goes, love, especially new love, can be fickle.
Good Poem...I really identified with it, which is a sign of a talented writer.
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Interesting piece, not quite what I was after in this contest, but a nice enough poem. Thankyou for the entry!
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Mm...
This poem is not what I expected... at the beginning sounded like you got something and ended totally opposite. Not a bad poem at all. I like the flow.
A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33 -
this is not what i was really looking for as i was looking for poems about you but i mean i surpose in some ways it does reflect you as it reflects your feelings. i liked the poem it had a nice flow to it. thnx for entering and gd luck
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*smiles* While this was not quite what I was looking for this is still very well written and I wanted to let you know that. Thank you for entering either way.
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intense
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