A city light reveals the cascading snow,
The black night and falling white,
Makes me feel even more insignificant.
Each and every flake is made differently,
Yet only a special few get noticed.
And then they float away…
It made me think of being in New York City and seeing all of those faces.
Each person, different, all with a story to tell,
And I will never know;
Of a hardship overcame
A love lost
A beautiful day
A new beginning
An ending unexpected
It hit me.
It made me realize of how much I yearn to explore this world, before I too, melt.
I would love to stay and watch,
But the car behind me just honked.
Author notes
A poem I actually am happy with
A contest entry
- I wrote better than that one!!! by Tattboyspet.
800 points, ended September 28, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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A poem excellently written. This was original and very beautiful. I realy enjoyed reading this and the ending was perfect
"I would love to stay and watch,
But the car behind me just honked."
It actually made me think..
Great write! Thanks for entering and best of luck
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thanks for reading my poem.
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It's gorgeous :]
I like to look at people as I walk
and wonder why they are the way they are,
why they dressed like they do and what their story is and what not, but for most I shall never know.
I love the ending, it made me giggle. xD
[i'ma loser]
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wow! u have some talent there!
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lol i like this its true as we see poeple everyday we dont know their story...:]
~*MC*~ -
Congratulations on your Honorable! Such Imagery and you carry the reader all of the way through.
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Very nice ...
and only a couple of minor problems. I think it's quite good. I am not a big fan of free verse, but this works well all in all.
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I like it.
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Wow!!
Loves it. The imagery of this is sooo vivid!
Be proud =]
Thanks for the comments.
♥ hol.
xo
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i know this feeling all too well, tho im sure it comes at me in quite a different form. at least it seems so by what i think im interpreting from your writing.
it also reminds me of a time when i got stranded skiing (last time i do that, im a boarder), and it was so thick you couldnt see your hands really. but if you looked at your own hair, you could see each individual pattern in each flake as they landed and then melted together. idk, im lame.
but this is beautiful, and i love the imagery. -
You should be happy with it...It's AMAZING!
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i love this. i feel like i am in the city...and i knwo what it looks like nad it is the amazing metaphical thing. ugh i wish i wrote this amazingly!!!!
<3 nicol -
could you let me know which contest this was entered into please
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it made me smile and laugh a little inside. i know that yearning, those realizations. i'm glad im not the only one. i saw the snow, and the horizon. i just wish i could say ive actually been to new york.
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This was amazing, right when I started getting into it...and started pondering on what I'm doing with my life...the ending lines bring me back to reality.
Very well done.
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i love reading people as they walk by as well... many times you can tell something about someone just from a few glances. this is a good piece. the ending obviously didn't match the tone of the poem, but i like it because it gives the kick back into reality that had to come at some point. overall very well done, and thanks for the comment on my piece too
-cassidy
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You should be happy.
It's very well done!
Bravo! Write on!
*PEACE*
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lol...this is FANTASTIC! I've had similar thoughts and it always feels good to know I'm not alone in some areas of my thinking
You wrote this perfectly, and the end is just great. All around FAB poem, in my book
Love, Lane
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This is great! It's as if you took a camera that, quite literally, captured a moment in my life, and then turned the negative into this wonderful poem. I love how this is very poetic [with MY definition of the word] and introspective, but instead of being awfully pretentious, it's REAL and you don't doubt it for a single second.
Oh my, I just got lost in a moment there. :]
Wonderful ending, too! Such a shame when it ACTUALLY happens, though. :/
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thank you for the comment, this is a poem I was actually happy with when I was done writing it, which doesn't happen often. I am just glad that others like it as well!!
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Wow, and a poem worth reading! You should definately be happy with this piece because it is wonderful. My favourite part of all is this line " I would love to stay and watch,
But the car behind me just honked" --Excellent finishing line, well thought out and it all makes sense Keep up the good stuff
-Bella
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This is really good...I can identify with the yearning to explore the world, meet diffrent people, and to just try and live life.
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I loved this. It was really amazing. I'm really glad that I got a chance to read this. Wonderful job with it. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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very good
I like the concepts of being unique and yet just one of many.
I also like the ending. I hope that you will explore this world.
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I love this. The imagery is absolutely amazing. This is very thought provoking and I can relate to what you are saying. I adore this poem and really enjoyed reading it. I'm happy that I did.
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I've imagined something like this before. Faces in a crowd as you look over a microphone. I like yours a lot better though. I've only had two chances to be in the snow, let alone study each snowflake. Heh, that's how south Texas deprives people. This write is very literal, I like the ending with the car honk. It brings the reader back into a reality of not always being able to just take one's time. The imagery is wonderful. It is very refreshing to say the least.
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This was a creative and unique penning, caught up in everyday life, found daydreaming of a life passing by and before you know it, pulled back into everyday life. Excellent work and certainly my pleasure to read
~Tia
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This is differnt and it really makes you think. I like it alot. The imagery is strong and whn I read it I felt like I was actually in the person's place thinking of all of that. It's a different perspective that I thought was neat. I was actually kind of upset that it ended, but the ending was a nice finish and I wasn't disappointed. Keep up the great work.
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Thank you, Jarrod...
I have come to collect this very intriguing poem that I like so much! I am putting it in my pocket and flying away to Poetry Planet with it! 
Your name will be on it and we usually get between 300 and 500 hits a day... sometimes more! 
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I am happy with this poem, too!
Would you allow me to post this poem on the poetry blog I run for a newspaper in California? It's Poetry Planet and we get hundreds of hits a day. You can find it at:
blogcentral.thereporter.com/planet
And of course I will put your name on the poem!
As I recall, I put another of your poems on the Planet months ago!
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Wow, so true! Everything dies or fades away after a while... And then, your ending, "the car behind me just honked."... That was just too great!
Cassie
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wow.
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EXCELLENT PIECE my friend. You have done an excellent job with this piece. I love the idea of this write as well. It would be a much better place if more peple stopped to smell the roses or even say hello. Don't you just hate it when your deep in thougfht and someone blows the horn on you.
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:)
i really liked it! <3 -
This was really good. I liked the imagery in this piece.
This write makes me think of how we all probably wish we could do more in our lives and dream of doing more before those car horns knock us back to our present reality. I liked the third last line in this piece. It made me think of how we all have only a certain amount of time in our present lives and we should all go exploring the world before we go. Fantastic write. Keep up the great work.
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Brilliant Write!
Such an indepth look at the many things and people we do not stop to say hello to nor the things we don't stop to ponder on. until one moment it hit us that we would really find enjoyment in doing just what we are not. Excellent thinking!! Excellent write, Don
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Seeing the world through eyes wide open. Differences that make us unique..yet sometimes overlooked. Beauty forgotten, or undiscovered. You have said much in this piece. Bravo..very good write with outstanding imagery. You should be happy with this...it is awesome. Dawn
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You did a great job with this.
I really enjoyed reading it and can
relate to it very much. There are so
many things that we all want to do
with our lives and yet, there are
so many things that we are already
involved in. Leaving little or no time
at all to do what we really want to.
Thanks for sharing this piece with me!
Keep up the wonderful work here.
I hope to read more from you soon!
Jeremy0826 -
Awesome write. So many times we cross paths with others.. and never know who they are. I love to people watch. I often wonder what there lives are like and I would love to just sit down and get to know them.. but.. usually- I and most of us just move on. Good write. You got me thinking. This is much deeper than it appears. And, I am glad you are happy with this piece as I am too. BLessings. D
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I love this. The whole thing, but the ending has a special kick.
I do that sometimes- in the grocery store, or where ever. I look at the people who pass, and I wonder what's going on in their lives. Have they just met their true love? Are they in the midst of some tragedy, barely keeping their composure?
An EXCELLENT piece.
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