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rosary milk

pink rings
around my tusks

have left me questioning
sincerity and
you.

since fingers
traced my brittle skin
instead of rosary and glass,


i question what intentions are
and why the clouds have told me things;
sounding out
your name, handing loaves of bread

and blood

 

to men. 

 

.

 

 

show me every hand you have,
even if it takes all night
and false gods get put

to shame.

red- handed,
are we now? toss the rainbows
from your lips, and let me
rain below the ground
so one of us
may grow

 

-- drinking rosary milk,

and laughing in the aisle of a field

that's strewn with unicorns

and this:

 

palms that show the truth,

and angels with calligraphy

that write my name in a better book;

 

one that He has

penned.  

 

 

Author notes

blame cocorosie and an eagerness to experiment [tonight.]

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Comments

1 - 53 of 53

  • Mildew in PinK tile
    April 2, 2007

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    "and why the clouds have told me things"
    &
    "toss the rainbows
    from your lips, and let me
    rain below the ground
    so one of us
    may grow"

    my oooober fav lines.
    im tickle me pink at the inspiration b/c i adore cocorosie hehehehe

    <3

    • marrow
      April 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      sweeeeeet!
      i really like 'em. i've borders ordering the "la maison de mon reve" cd for me.


  • Freestyle Bushido
    March 28, 2007

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    this is some deep shit here and i like it alot. I love the unique feel of this poem. Really reflects the artistic individual of the artist behind the poem. All in all a very expressive poem, your work reminds me alot of my work in some aspects. i will add you to my favorites.


  • SongByrd
    March 28, 2007

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    I have to say this is unique. Very expressive and drawn off of a deep sense of bordom. Thank you for sharing. Good write. Keep writing.

    When you pen from the heart you shall never write wrong.


  • natari
    March 28, 2007

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    Experimental agrees with you.I am so behind on my comments.The title is perfect for this.I promise to catch up soon.
    Love Helen


  • Claide
    March 27, 2007
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    Mmm. Gorgeous write, Justin.

    • marrow
      March 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.

      This one's my baby. It means nothing to me at all other than I stayed up late, was knocked out of sanity and was listening to CocoRosie.

      Hence the awesome background.


  • truembrace silver member
    March 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    again - the great imagery. perfect penning and original work...


  • g r e y i s m
    March 26, 2007

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    what I interpreted from this, whether it is what you intended or not, was basically something about the heresy that lies in Catholicism... or maybe it's not even that general, maybe more like in certain Catholics specifically. yes. I thought I read something there about a preist who is molesting children instead of saying his rosary.
    I like the ending. I wish I could believe. I used to, then philosophy class got to me. before I took my first philosophy class, I said that there was no way I would ever change my mind about Christianity. I thought I was impenetrable. I was wrong.

    nice one. the background is cool too.

    hugs

    Lea


  • polly filla
    March 26, 2007

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    I'd say it was honourable...letting go for

    "palms that show the truth,

    and angels with calligraphy

    that write my name in a better book;"

    I like the play on 'psalms'.

    There's distinct reverence in this, and quite empathic to the feminine way of thinking. I get the impression that 'the narrator' is a woman---why? hmmm

    "pink rings
    around my tusks"

    Call me crayzee, but I thought 'nipples'. I know men have nipples(!), but I think they're more symbolic with women.

    Lovely undulating rhythm...another feminine point.

    I enjoyed the last lines, too. Quite phallic.

    (I really hope this is about loving sex, or I've just come across as a fiend!)

    Thanks for the read

    • marrow
      March 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      well, i'm a man... or boy? somewhere in between the two.

      and man, your interpretation is actually interesting to me. i'd not meant it for those things. however, it was late at night so i can't lie and say i meant anything by this piece except for maybe the last few lines.

      haha. thank you for reading.


      • polly filla
        March 26, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I noticed.

        I think it's called being liberated.

        You might not have meant it, but I think you've produced a very fair poem that would do anyone justice, male or female.

        Onelove!


  • chat noir
    March 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • chat noir
    March 25, 2007

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    your name, handing loaves of bread

    and blood



    to men.



    ....oh my god. geeze.



    OMG I HAVE AN IDEA BRB.


  • The.Stars.Go.Blue
    March 25, 2007
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    I need this poem pour mon wall. It would be so beautiful in the spotlight.

    Yes? No?

    • marrow
      March 25, 2007
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      YES!!
      I so loff yew.

      • The.Stars.Go.Blue
        March 25, 2007
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        Oh yay. I loff you too, darling. You just made my day brighter!

        • marrow
          March 25, 2007
          Edit | Reply


          Would it brighten more if I mentiomed I have twin carebears in my room that I have named Coco and Tyrone.

          • The.Stars.Go.Blue
            March 25, 2007
            Edit | Reply
            ...What's sad is that I believe you, lmao. And yes, yes it did brighten my day.

            • marrow
              March 25, 2007
              Edit | Reply
              They're awesome; pink with a heart on their stomachs.


  • Tabitha-Robin
    March 25, 2007

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    This is deep and full of emotion. I love this so much. I also love the background. Your experiment went well I think. Great form and style. Love how you painted each word to the page. It is so alive. Great job.

    Oh, I will stalk you if you wish. I thought that was cute on your front page. Keep writing my friend.

    Great talent I see in you.

    Tabitha

    • marrow
      March 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks!
      i wasn't sure if this was too much, because for some reason i thought last night that people would take this as being dishonorable.

      i'm glad that hasn't been the case.


  • Ryno gold member
    March 25, 2007
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    This is just... amazing... one of my favourite poems from you yet. It is absolute and whole...

    • marrow
      March 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.
      You didn't find it offensive, right? I know your Catholic, and I've yet to have a Catholic read this.


      • Ryno gold member
        March 25, 2007
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        I've had a lot worse thrown my way.. people have told me rate in my face that I am going to hell, just because the don't like/don't agree with my religion..


        • Ryno gold member
          March 25, 2007
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          Hail Mary, full of grace.
          Our Lord is with thee.
          Blessed art thou among women,
          and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
          Jesus.
          Holy Mary, Mother of God,
          pray for us sinners,
          now and at the hour of our death.
          Amen.

          This is the poem repeated upon the rosemary numerous times. It is the whole reason, I believe, people feel we worship Mary instead of God/Jesus.. but, I find, if you actually read the prayer closely, you find it seems more like... a thank-you note to Mary for giving birth to Jesus... I don't know how other people's religions go, but Catholics believe that Mary gave birth to Jesus, the son of God.
          But really, all of are prayers are too God, even this one- but on a different subject.

          ...just in case you were interested

          • marrow
            March 25, 2007
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            Yes, we believe Mary gave birth to Christ as well.

            There's a prayer not in the gospels (though I'm not sure whether or not it's in the Catholic Bible) that has a somewhat similar prayer as that one above.


            • Ryno gold member
              March 25, 2007

              Edit | Reply
              *prayer.. *This is the prayer repeated..^^^


              lol, had poetry on my mind.

              I honestly don't know if it is in our bible or not.. I

              • marrow
                March 25, 2007
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                It likely is, as I'm pretty sure it's one of the gospels.

                Oooooo, I just realized we're each in B Chandeler's new challenge. This'll be fun!


                • Ryno gold member
                  March 25, 2007
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                  Oh, the AP Teen Top Poet.. haha.. that should be interesting.. I am personifying laundry. funn.. lol. My poetry lately has been strange.. every since the last FP6 challenge.. my poems have all been.. different..

                  • marrow
                    March 25, 2007
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                    I'll have to give 'em a read.

                    • Ryno gold member
                      March 25, 2007
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                      cool, the ones labeled 'Personal' are all the strange ones..

        • marrow
          March 25, 2007
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          Mmmm, yeah.
          It's not an anti- Ccatholic poem at all, amnd actually has nothing to do with Catholicism. I just wasn't sure how the rosary image would go over, along with the background. Though I'm not actually sure why it would offend.


          • Ryno gold member
            March 25, 2007
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            Yea, I would be careful with the poem though.. I wouldn't enter it in any contests it could stir up something...

            • marrow
              March 25, 2007
              Edit | Reply
              Mmmm, yeah.

              It's really not about anything actually, but perhaps the image could upset some. I'll make note of that.

      • Ryno gold member
        March 25, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Nope. People are entitled to free speech, especially in writing.

        • marrow
          March 25, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          Cool.
          I didn't know how rosary beads are actually looked upon. I didn't know how taboo that would be.


  • MrsPepper
    March 24, 2007

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    Somehow I stumbled upon this incredible poem and fallen in love...That is what it is about ...There is something very spiritual and unique about it...I hope to read more from you too

  • Anthony Myriad gold member
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the automatic way in which this is poetic to the reader. Your genre and style is at once recognisable. The way in which you have capitalised 'He' is interesting. The flow and sounds that you are working with here are ones that tell an audience about your stern respect for communicating through a poetic form. At times, (possibly due to the lower case 'i's') this reminded me stylistically of e.e cummings. Anthony.


  • TearsOfRedForHer
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is simply amazing. You are one of the first people who I ever discovered on this site and this reminds me (as do so many of your poems) why I've always thought you're amazing.

    I always think it's an art to say something profound with so few words and I think you did it perfectly. Not to mention that you actually found a way to discuss religion in poetry without being too controversial or generally givin reason for anyone to be put off. That alone deserves honors.


  • Hadji Murad
    March 24, 2007

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    Justin---you are a great writer. The words you have woven are splendid and magestic and wonderful. There's a poignancy I've only read in a few poets: You, Chase, Melissa, Michael, Matthew and Bunny, that really stands out in this site elitism. Frankly I am impressed beyond words at the lovely beauty you have conjured in your words. Your ideas are brief but endless in their profundity and depth. Also, you have written something that speaks such magnitudes it deafens the poets who are not this talented. I can see this poem winning contest after contest. It's just so remarkable and breathes great sighs of beauty and courage to step outside a poetic boundary and write something so vivid and raw and amazing.

  • Oya Ayaba Nikua
    March 24, 2007

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    the last couple of lines with angels and calligraphy are so fresh and intense...

    I can't even tell you how pleased I am that you discovered me so I could discover you you are talented and soulful for sure...

    • marrow
      March 24, 2007
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      eee, thanks so much!

      i'm a bit eccentric, so i wanted to write this. i like taking bits of my faith, and putting them into weird poems. granted, i'm still not catholic i used a verse that i loosely know for the last stanzaish.

      i love the background though. it reminds me of the two carebears in my room. i brought them up front my basement today. they're twins, and i've named one Coco and the other Tyrone.


  • blackday
    March 24, 2007

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    Hmm. As you know, I am a poor comment, but I must tell you this was so... cute. Like, okay. It was cute and yet sprinkles of seriousness and the ending stanza was totally the best and -sigh- I'm not ranting.

    Oh, the authors comments also made me smile.


    [edit: the first verison was better in my book.]

  • Oya Ayaba Nikua
    March 24, 2007
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    ah yes, the false gods...

    • marrow
      March 24, 2007
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      mmm, i edited this now.
      yeah, i am Christian and hold those beliefs. i like being very experimental with my writing though. i'm really pleased that you have commented, as i love your work so much.

1 - 53 of 53