can you tell me what stopped the rain? it fell
for a time
thick and sweet
drenching the lovers that we were, cloaking
us in lightning... kissing our bare skins
with thunder that rolled heavily into
the night, hiding us from what came before
can you tell me what stopped the flames? they
danced in peace, consuming
everything that we were and leaving us with only
each other,
beautifully confused
in cool marble grottoes sweet with secrets
can you tell me what stopped time? the clock hands
hover, frozen in ecstacy as the
shadows we throw off dance together
in discordant harmony
on the walls of a room too big for us
and too small for me, singing
songs in sublime voices
can you tell me what stopped our dreams? our dreams
were so heartbreakingly inaccurate
that it took only a kiss brushed upon
the brow of love
to shatter them into pieces too small to see
and banish us to dimensions
where nothing exists but ourselves,
seperated by the arrows of
injured hearts and crystalline tears
can you tell me... what stopped us?
A contest entry
- Bitter for Sweet by grrlshadow.
600 points, ended March 27, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I know I have commented before on this but now I fully respond to the hurt and questions because my life has become this way. My love has been ripped from me, the words you wrote successfully describing everything...
Empath -
This is amazing!! I love it and I really was drawn into the ideas and points you made!!! Excellent work!!
Empath
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mind blowing
This is beautiful...i love the imagery packed in here...i'm speechless...great job and good luck!
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Thanks very much! Are you entering, then? Or have you, already?
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oh WOW! this is just wonderful! "can you tell me what stopped the rain? it fell
for a time
thick and sweet
drenching the lovers that we were, cloaking
us in lightning... kissing our bare skins
with thunder that rolled heavily into
the night, hiding us from what came before" this grabbed me and refused to let go, and then it just got better and better as i read more and more...i especially loved this part "can you tell me what stopped time? the clock hands
hover, frozen in ecstacy as the
shadows we throw off dance together
in discordant harmony
on the walls of a room too big for us
and too small for me, singing
songs in sublime voices" Thank you soooo very much for this entry and best of luck to you in the contest...oh man i LOVE this!!
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Thanks for putting up such an interesting option! I was just sitting here working on my homework and scanning contests, and I thought, well, that looks like fun... and then my brain just kind of ran away with me... XD
Best of luck with the rest of the contest!
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