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Ambience


built over time
smooth polished perfection
our unspoken stares.
















.

In a list

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Zeus the Woman
    March 28, 2007

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    i definitely feel that these three lines stand strongly alone. they are very well written. the last line i love the most. i love the idea of unspoken stares. great diction.


  • Malabu
    March 25, 2007

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    A few more lines

    I feel would have added to this....
    idled in eternity
    comes to mind...might add to the ending....I like short.....very short when it says something to make me think....
    Mal


  • truembrace
    March 24, 2007

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    I love it when a short piece leaves us with so many images. It shows a great grasp of pulling a reader into your imagery succinctly.

    I'm thinking this was meant to be standard haiku - with the exception of being off by one syllable in the first verse. Really, I hadn't expected to read any haikus in this contest. Still, I like that you ventured into that form and did so quite well.

    Thanks for entering!

    Kimmie


  • Cat gold member
    March 24, 2007

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    this is really quite good- my favorite thing about this is you used both words without using either word- i love the crucial title- a title not specified in the lines but the lines dependant upon them- almost like the answer at the end of the book -

    very nicely done.
    thanks for entering the contest

    m