"it's ok, it's ok, it's ok,"
she whispers in my ear,
the look in my eyes,
ask her why we're stil here.
the shape of his hand,
is still on my arm,
she always swore we'd leave,
if ever he did me harm.
yet we're still here,
and he is to,
and now i'm left wondering,
what should i do?
she makes all these promises,
that she doesn't ever keep,
and now i'm standing on the edge,
of a cliff that's just too steep.
she's trying to talk me down,
but i'm sick of her lies,
goodbye mom,
i'm sorry i made you cry.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Are you sorry you made me cry?! One of my friends had an abusive father and her mother never left, convinced he'd change. Change with what i don't know but every time he hit her i knew my friend died inside just that little bit more. i love the honesty and the pain you portray with each line and the fact that you're able to express the way you're feeling in such a simplistic (is that even a word?) manner, although i doubt it was all that simple! Take care
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i hate how people can just be so stupid sometimes...like my mom or your friends mom. don't get me wrong, i love my mom to death. i just get so angry with her for not protecting her kids, but mostly for not protecting herself. thankyou so much for commenting!
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good work...sad though...I feel for you...my dad doesnt hit me much any more now...he just hurts me in as many other ways...like burns...
This works well and flows great...I love you sis, take care...I would honestly hate to loose you
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and i just left you a message telling you how wonderful you are....your dads an ass if he bruns you... sorry i dont even know the guy but thats how it makes me feel...anyway thanks for reading and commenting!
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Well done!
I could feel your pain in this write. Such misery, such woe. You could probably tighten this up a bit, take out a few words, but overall it's a great piece.
Love this bit:
"she makes all these promises,
that she doesn't ever keep,
and now i'm standing on the edge,
of a cliff that's just too steep."
Great metaphor.
And the ending is superb. Well done. I applaud proudly.
Lady H
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I felt ur pain there. i detest men who do that, they think putting fear there, is a way to control us. F that i would of gave his just deserts. it is a very good work of poetry. keep it up.blessed be.
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thankyou for commenting! ya guys like my father suck and it makes me mad when woman like my mom let them treat them like they do...
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wow!
I really liked this poem! Very emotional and powerful! Very sad, just kept me going throughout the write. The rhyming was great too!
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first off thanks for commenting and second thanks for a nice comment!!!
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